Using serving serving utensils as a "shovel"

nachlaot

Thu, Jan 24 2019, 11:47 pm

does anyone find it uncouth when people use the serving utensils on serving plates to "shovel" or "push" food onto their plates? when people do this, the sides of the serving plates get dirty, which means people's hands will get dirty if they touch them. why don't people use a serving spoon as it is intended -- as a spoon?

amother

Yellow

Fri, Jan 25 2019, 7:44 am

Because sometimes it is difficult to use the provided utensil for the intended purpose. For example, when chicken cutlets cooked sauce fall apart when you try to lift them with the fork. Or when the spoon is small enough that it gets minuscule amounts of the dish that's in a large bowl- think one spear of broccoli at a time. Or on a practical level, because there is nowhere to put the serving dish down and the taker has difficulty maneuvering the utensil properly whole holding the dish.

watergirl

Fri, Jan 25 2019, 8:02 am

I've noticed that the majority of the threads that you start on here are related to hosting etiquette or guest etiquette, about being a host or guest, or what people seem to do at the table. I'm wondering why these issues stand out to you so much? True, we all have our hangups, but I'm just asking out of curiosity.

In this case that you've mentioned, I dont see what the issue is. Lets say someone uses the serving utensil as you've described and the person clearing touches it and gets the residue on their hand. So they wash it and its done. I generally wash my hands after I've cleared the table. With my kids, I urge them to bring their plate close to the serving dish (or the other way around) and do as you've described if its a certain type of food dish (like amother yellow described) because otherwise it will dribble all over the table cloth and make another type of mess thats not as easily cleaned. What am I missing?

Or, ok. You find it to be uncouth. So? Knowing you cant change other people, all you can change is your reaction to other people. Maybe make an effort not to focus on people while they are serving themselves? Or if that person is the one talking while serving himself and you need to focus on him, just look at his face and not at his hands. Voila - you no longer have to see the uncouth thing.

zaq

Fri, Jan 25 2019, 9:49 am

amother wrote:

All of the above. No, I don’t get offended by people’s handling of serving pieces. It’s not something I would ever pay attention to. The only thing that offends me is people who take large portions and then don’t finish them. If you don’t know for a fact that you will love something and demolish it, take just a bit to taste and then refill if you want more. Leaving uneaten food in your dish is, contrary to some misguided people’s beliefs, NOT a sign of elegant refinement.

Cheiny

Fri, Jan 25 2019, 2:15 pm

watergirl wrote:

I agree. I don’t see what the big problem is that OP is so bothered by. What bothers me is when people ignore the serving utensils and use their own, or use their hands! I hate seeing people grabbing rolls with their hands in the bakery and then putting them back and selecting others....

thunderstorm

Fri, Jan 25 2019, 3:05 pm

Cheiny wrote:

I don't know where you live but the bakeries around here provide disposable plastic gloves for the customers. You are supposed to put them on to make your selection. This way, changing your mind doesn't mean that your skin and possibly germs touched it.

To answer OP, I agree with Watergirl. I also agree that the serving utensil needs to be the proper size for the food item. Also, some people are less coordinated than others. One of my DSs has trouble with serving himself in the manner you'd prefer. It's not intentional. It's a big struggle for him to get it right.

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Jan 25 2019, 3:11 pm

Cheiny wrote:

A person could be bothered by more than one food infraction.

In fancy settings people come around and wipe the side of servings pieces if they have dribbles of food on them.