Let's Write the Next Great Frum Novel

syrima

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 11:36 am

PAGE 68

Malkie heard voices near her bedside. She opened her eyes, and immediately closed them again as the glaring overhead light overwhelmed her. "I think she blinked!" She heard someone exclaim excitedly. "Malkie squeeze my hand if you can hear me, okay?"
She obediently tried to move her fingers a bit. She felt very out of practice, almost like she had been away on vacation from her body and had now returned. Someone squeezed her fingers back. She opened her eyes to see who it was. A face was peering at her, with anxious, hopeful eyes, and curly hair. It took her a minute to place the face. It was her neighbor's daughter, Rena. What was she doing here?
"What happened?" She croaked, as her unused voice protested.
Rena's face turned solemn. "You don't remember? There was a terrible accident. You were very badly hurt. I won't go into details in case any kinderlach are reading this, but.. you were in a coma for over a month, and things didn't look good. The entire community of Hendon was busy saying tehillim, baking challah, giving tzedakah, and putting anyone who spoke lashon hora in cherem. And Baruch Hashem, you woke up! I can't wait to tell your husband and kids, they will be so happy to come over and visit you....I can't believe it, everyone will be so excited!"
Malkie interrupted her prattling, 'Actually, if you could do me a favor..."
"What? Sure, anything? Cup of tea? Call the doctor?"
"No, before you tell my husband and kids the good news, could I just have a small nap? I feel like I've been run over by a truck!"

WitchKitty

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 7:12 pm

I read a new frum novel this shabbos and realized that we forgot a very important, crucial part of frum novels.
We MUST put in at least one paragraph that has the wrong name!!

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 8:49 pm

syrima wrote:

I love that your pp continues on p. 68. And love the last line.

zaq

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 5:59 pm

OK, mitzad sheni, you asked for it, you got it!

Malki's husband finishes davening, takes off his tefillin, puts his tallis neatly in his tallis zekel, puts on his coat and leaves. Stepping briskly out the door, he feels his kosherphone vibrate urgently. Nervously, he nibbles on a corner of his beard, wondering if he should take the time to answer or let the caller go to voicemail. It is, after all, a taanis tzibbur and he should avoid frivolous conversation today. MITZAD SHEINI, what if it's the hospital where Malki has been for a month? to answer or not to answer? Better safe than sorry, he'll leave it alone and go ask his rebbe.

Rivka's husband finishes davening...takes off his tefillin...puts his tallis neatly in his tallis zekel...puts on his coat...and leaves. He wanders aimlessly through the deserted streets, seeking and not finding a solution to his quandary. That guy, Joel, Joey, whatever he calls himself--no way he's becoming a real baal teshuvah. He must be trying to get an "in" with Rivka. Who knows what they did in Camp Ramah? He should really warn Rivka not to get too friendly, even if his sidekick is with him. That's it, he'll be matreh Rivka to stay away from him, and then she won't be able to be questioned for the investigation. Not that she knows anything, but loose lips sink ships. He shakes his head to erase the sudden, unwelcome image of Rivka with loose lips. Better to think of her patting her sheitel. Wait, why is her sheitel mussed and in need of patting into place?

Rivka settles deeper into the chair in Rebbetzin Wineglass's warm, immaculate kitchen and tries to change the topic to something lighter, less personal. The rebbetzin is a beacon of sense and holiness, but somehow Rivka senses that she cannot betray her dear husband Yoseph Yechiel. Why, oh why did she come here today? She casts about frantically for some shtus to share. She starts to babble:

"Rebbetzin, can you share some recipes with me? When I griped that I had no idea what to make for lunch, my vegan neighbor gave me an ...interesting...casserole that appeared to be made of wheat bran, mucilage, bird seed, and ...cardboard? She said it had high fiber and was very nutritious, but I found it somewhat...uh...well...right. So I says to her , I says, Miri, I says, thanks so much for the casserole, that was so sweet of you, but, really, you didn't have to do that. I could have just had what I have every day, namely, toast, tuna, coffee, and an orange. But my dear husband, Yoseph yechiel, shlita, he can't be expected to have that for lunch every day. He needs more variety when he's scamming, I mean striving, so hard. "

marvelous

Fri, Dec 28 2018, 12:33 am

Aviva puts the last roller into Mrs. Templerovitz's sheitel before she places it on the shelf. Then she turns to the sheitels that had been dropped off that day, waiting to be washed. Aviva pulls out the first sheitel, belonging to Shifra Susha. That's strange, she muses, I just washed this sheitel, like 2 weeks ago, did I not wash it well?. After taking the sheitel to her washing station, she goes back for the next one. Sticking her hand into the bag, she pulls out the sheitel and checks the tag: Rivka? I just washed it, about three weeks ago. When did she even wear it if she's home all day with her babies.
Something is very strange. Am I not washing it well?
Why are these sheitels so oily?! Dont know

MitzadSheini

Fri, Dec 28 2018, 1:21 am

zaq wrote:

OK, mitzad sheni, you asked for it, you got it.
.....
MITZAD SHEINI..... "

Sunny Days

Fri, Dec 28 2018, 1:24 am

Go on ladies! you're doing a fantabulous job Very Happy

Can't wait for the next installment Smile

Gut Shabbos to all! especially to all double/triple lettered named people!

PurpleHeart

Wed, Jan 30 2019, 11:00 am

All Great Frum Novels have a casserole in the oven, or someone comes home to a piping hot casserole on the counter.

I honestly have never eaten a casserole. I don't know what it is except for what google tells me. It must be good though, if it stars in all GFNs.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 30 2019, 11:05 am

NOW I REMEMBER. I had a secular book out and bookmarked a page, the paper fell out, couldn't remember why I did it.
Because I wanted to share a line with you all here, about a character patting her hair.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 30 2019, 11:21 am

PurpleHeart wrote:

The funny thing is, while I grew up with what we called Noodle Casserole, I've encountered casseroles more in the outside world. Like a cartoon from Baby Blues, where the wife, who's 10 months pregnant, takes something out of the oven and rests it next to a stack, and she tells her husband (Darryl), Wow, I just finished up 3 months of casseroles for the freezer. To which Darryl says, But you know I don't like casserole. To which she says (last panel), Great, then 6 months.

Or https://www.amazon.com/Cassero.....85354 . Fun book. It gave me the idea to make a ground turkey shepherd's pie and top it with tater tots.

syrima

Wed, Jan 30 2019, 12:17 pm

I thought casserole is just a translation for kugel. Like if I want to look up recipes online I just write "potato casserole" instead

Einikel

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:08 pm

I feel like this needs a bump I ‘m dying of suspense.

aricelli

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:52 pm

Can we start part two? I think joined imamother after and theres no way I can read all these pages.
On the other hand- I can probably just write anything and it would blend in seemlessly

aricelli

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:55 pm

Fill me in!!! Did you put in the israeli mom who gets agitated and furiously scrubs down her counters and every inch of her kitchen and does a sponja to settle her nerves?

Sunny Days

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 8:46 pm

Hey, was punkt thinking of this today!
Part 2 totally starts here:
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....63282

Sunny Days

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 8:47 pm

aricelli wrote:

Fill me in!!! Did you put in the israeli mom who gets agitated and furiously scrubs down her counters and every inch of her kitchen and does a sponja to settle her nerves?

You mean who scrubs the same counter or pot 10 times till she realizes there's nothing left to clean there?

aricelli

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 8:51 pm

gamzehyaavor wrote:

You mean who scrubs the same counter or pot 10 times till she realizes there's nothing left to clean there?

No- thats her neighbor

MitzadSheini

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 8:58 pm

gamzehyaavor wrote:

You mean who scrubs the same counter or pot 10 times till she realizes there's nothing left to clean there?

No until there is no actual pot there. It has been completely worn away. Viz-

"Just as the waters of Torah wore away the stone, and the words of Torah wore away Rabbi Akiva heart, so did the water from Sigal's kitchen, combined with her toil driven scrubbing (just as her heilger husband toils daily in Torah) wear away her one and only prized parev pot until it mamash ceased to exist."

(can the new thread be merged w this one?)

aricelli

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 9:10 pm

But you see the difference- sigal seems to clean because shes an awesome aishes chayil. Then you need to put in the women who gets a very worrisome phone call and to calm herself she scrubs her kitchen... I’ve read enough Israeli novels! I always wonder why they scrub to self soothe while I eat ice cream

aricelli

Sun, Jun 02 2019, 9:11 pm

Then you need to write “she felt it with her mothers heart” so that I can wonder: which heart are they referring to- Mom? Grandma?