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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
My 4.5 yr old asked how babies come out of mommies
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:02 pm
I'm not even pregnant. The question came out of nowhere.
He only has one younger brother, so has never seen a girl/women's diaper area.
He once asked me if I have a peepee (what he calls a pnis- I mentioned that it's called a pnis but usually call it a peepee and I don't think he remembers the proper name) and I said no. He didn't ask any more questions if I remember correctly.

Anyway, he asked if the baby comes out of the mouth and I said no. He asked how? So I said it's not tsnius for me to talk with you about it now; let's talk about it when you get a little older. (Mistake. I realize I shouldn't have used the word Tsnius. I was very unsure what to say and said the wrong thing.)

I don't want to lie to him but I also don't want to tell him all the details. My husband was right there and doesn't agree with me at all- he is a bit antiquated in this area and thought I should have said yes, the baby comes out of the Mouth Rolling Eyes Confused
So he's no help in this area.
What do you experienced mothers of boys suggest I do if he brings it up again?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:04 pm
There's a special opening that all women have where the baby comes out. I can't show you because it's in a private area that's not tznius to show other people.
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Optione




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:05 pm
My daughter that age asked. I just said a mommy's body opens up a little bigger- just big enough for the baby to come out. If he asks where, maybe just say "from one of her more private parts."
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:06 pm
"When the baby is ready to come mommy goes to the hospital and the doctor gets the baby out of mommy"
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:10 pm
I like the two answers given and am appalled at the idea of blatantly lying to a child by saying a baby comes out of the mouth.

Kids are easy enough to put off, offer something a bit more general, or distract, that there is no reason to resort to that.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:25 pm
I personally think it’s imporant to explain how the body works and be truthful, but in an age apporiate way. What about going to the library and checking out kid books on this topic. You can read the pages you are okay with with your child. That is what I did with my kid when he started asking these questions. I checked out a few books on this topic and I reviewed the pages with him that I felt were appropriate for his age at the time. I don’t remember what books I checked out, but there were several options available at my local library.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:29 pm
My son asked me at age 5. I said there’s a special hole that mothers have. He asked where. I told him it’s private. He told my I’m lying. When he asked the same question a year later, I gave him the same answer and he actually believed me. It was all very matter of fact. Ladies, please don’t lie to your children.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:39 pm
dc never asked but their rebbe told them in school that babies come out of a special door at the bottom of the mother's body and that seemed to satisfy them.
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:45 pm
amother wrote:
"When the baby is ready to come mommy goes to the hospital and the doctor gets the baby out of mommy"


My mother told me that when I asked at age 6. When multiple classmates told me their mothers said it comes out of a hole by the private parts, I realized the odds are the majority is correct and my mother had either lied to me or was clueless.

I clearly remember not trusting her for clarification of other such sensitive topics as I grew older, because of this.

It was the stupidest thing she could have done, although im sure her heart was in the right place.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 10:49 pm
little neshamala wrote:
My mother told me that when I asked at age 6. When multiple classmates told me their mothers said it comes out of a hole by the private parts, I realized the odds are the majority is correct and my mother had either lied to me or was clueless.

I clearly remember not trusting her for clarification of other such sensitive topics as I grew older, because of this.

It was the stupidest thing she could have done, although im sure her heart was in the right place.


Why? She didn’t lie, she was just very vague.
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:03 pm
amother wrote:
Why? She didn’t lie, she was just very vague.


Call it what you like. She appeared to be either very stupid or not truthful, neither of which I wanted my mother to be. Having the doctor take the baby out is nowhere near the truth of the baby coming out of a certain hole.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:09 pm
Also, why are we encouraging that there is something taboo about something so natural and basic? We should not teach children to be embarrassed of their bodies, or that there is something inherently wrong or inappropriate about them. You have a P'nis, a girl does not. She has a special hole so that when she has a baby one day it has an exit route. At the very least you could have gone the c-section route.

In the future maybe tell your child that's a good question and you'll tall about it soon, which will give you time to collect your thoughts. Don't answer in a panic.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:11 pm
I tell my kids, "It's a neis."
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:13 pm
When my little boys ask me how a baby is born....I tell them when you'll be a mommy, you will know. They laugh that they will never be a mommy. That's that.

When they got a bit older they asked again, I told them it's not something little boys should talk about, they will know in the right time, when they need to know.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:14 pm
Oh, well... I’ve told my very young children when they asked... that the doctor knows how to take the baby out after it’s finished growing for 9 months... “doctors know how “ seemed to satisfy them.

Only when they started asking more questions when they were older did I explain that just like a person is able to go to the bathroom, the baby will come out in a similar way with the doctors help.

My mother told her kids exactly how babies are born when everyone was quite young. I didn’t think that was necessary information for very small kids to have.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:34 pm
dankbar wrote:
When my little boys ask me how a baby is born....I tell them when you'll be a mommy, you will know. They laugh that they will never be a mommy. That's that.

When they got a bit older they asked again, I told them it's not something little boys should talk about, they will know in the right time, when they need to know.


Did you ever consider that they're just going to find out from a different source?
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sat, Feb 02 2019, 11:41 pm
My kids were all born via C-section. I told them I had surgery and the doctor took the baby out of my belly. The idea of surgery isn't scary or weird to them because we call repairing stuffed animals surgery too.

My oldest once told me that her friends said that babies come out between the legs and I told her it was true but not for everyone. She seemed satisfied.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:29 am
Such strange responses here. Confused

(My baby was born without the doctor's help thankyouverymuch.)
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:38 am
I think there's a big difference when you answer a 4.5 yr old and a 12 yr old. Little kids usually just ask when they heard someone say something, and not because they are really interested to know, or will remember what you answered them. Just matter of fact give any answer you feel is right for your child at his/her age and don't dwell on it much. It's part of life.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:52 am
My kids don't even realize that the baby is in the mother's belly to begin with......
They asked me how do you have a baby, I said a special malach comes and tell the parents that they have a baby waiting for them in the hospital so they go and meet their new baby.....
Of course if they would ask me how the babies come out of mommie I will tell them from a very special place..... I won't lie to them but don't see the need of giving them details that are not relevant right now.
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