My 4.5 yr old asked how babies come out of mommies

amother

Apricot

Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:17 pm

essie14 wrote:

There are so many ways to tell your child truthfully without being explicit. Why in the world would you outright LIE to a child?

If you absolutely positively can't tell him the truth (which as a mother and a grandmother I don't understand) then it is better to say "I will tell you when you are a little older than to outright lie. "

Shuly

Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:27 pm

Through a tiny hole. Hashem makes a neis and it gets big enough for a baby to come out of it and then it gets tiny again.

My 10 year old recently asked me if it's true that the baby comes out of the tush because his friend told him that and I said, not it's not from the tush, just near there.

He was like, oh ok.

Simple, honest and gets no reaction.

yksraya

Sun, Feb 03 2019, 1:44 pm

I find it silly for someone to say it comes from the mouth. One of my sons once came to me all proud that he knows where a baby comes out from "the mouth" I had to burst his bubble and correct him that no, not from the mouth. Lol

crust

Sun, Feb 03 2019, 10:26 pm

I don't lie. I understand that this is easier said than done.

I do understand the hesitation or the fear of forthcoming with info if your kids go to sheltered schools or live in a sheltered environment and you don't want them being the ones that deliver this info to their classmates/neighbors/cousins.

I understand it because I'm living it.

The key is; Know Thy Child.

Telling certain children certain things prematurely can cause them to crawl up a wall wanting to share it with freinds in an environment where these things are refered to as 'nivul peh'.*
You dont want your child overly informed in an underinformed society- nor do you want your child to be called 'the child that talks too much'.

However, in my experience, children that feel comfortable that they can discuss anything with their parents are less likely to want to discuss this with friends.

*Of course, its not that.

amother

Pink

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 12:30 am

amother wrote:

There is no mental image I can form of a baby coming out of a woman's mouth that isn't revolting. I'd rather tell my kids nothing than that. Imagine how scary it must seem to believe that women vomit babies

I'm not sure the mental image of a baby coming out of a woman's private part is much better. It's just that you're used to the fact that this is the way it is. From a kid's point of view, I'm not sure which is the better/worse image.

nchr

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 10:54 pm

amother wrote:

Can you explain why you would choose this over all the other available options?

Because I don't think our children need to know the truth and because I often joke like this with our children. I.E. I have to go on a trip. DS asks if he can come, "Sure. Go pack your things." He knows I'm joking and would probably know I'm joking about the baby too, so it's a nice way of saying "I'm not having this discussion now."

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 11:17 pm

nchr wrote:

Ah. I don't think most 4 year olds would think it's a joke if they asked "do babies come out of your mouth?" and you said yes. My 4 year old would probably answer, "really? For reals?" And then either you laugh and say just kidding, in which case they want to know the real answer. Or..?

sequoia

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 11:41 pm

amother wrote:

As a former kid, I can tell you that there was nothing revolting about the truth. It was totally neutral info. I was four.

essie14

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 1:00 am

amother wrote:

Better or worse?
It’s biology.
There’s no opinions. It’s not like you can choose to tell your child that urine comes out of his belly button.
I promise that your 4 yr old is not creating images of actual childbirth - you’re projecting your knowledge of the nitty gritty details on him.
Children think babies pop out all nice and clean and instantaneously.
Those are the details you can choose to share when a child is older. Not the basic facts of biology. I think the mothers here who want to lie are confused as to how to explain things in an age appropriate way. No young child needs to hear a half hour explanation of exactly what goes on when a baby is born. You don’t need to talk about labor and blood and pain.

“Hashem made women with a special hole that gets bigger when the baby is ready to be born.”
Where’s the hole?
“Near the private parts”
Can I see it?
“No, just like your private parts are covered and no one looks at them, mine are also. Only the doctor looks at it when she has to help when the baby is born. That’s why I will go to the hospital”
Done.