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Tuition Assistance and SAHM's
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 2:09 pm
ectomorph wrote:
And whats sonbad about encouraging the birth of future employees? If you're a woman in that job ask for a raise.


Are you living in some sort of company town where everyone works for Old Man Schwartz when they turn 17? Or are the babies indentured servants -- you've got to give the employer 10 years, because he paid Abba more when you were born.

Or do you just believe "from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs." A Jew did popularize that, after all.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 2:16 pm
I’m a stay at home mom and pay full tuition. And my neighbor who works asked me to watch her kid every Friday for a bunch of hours because her help was away for a few months. Honestly I would do it one week as a favor but more than that I can’t. I can barley manage my own kids. It’s really hard. You can’t ask someone to watch your kids for you. If they offer it’s one thing. But unless it’s your sister or other family you don’t ask.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 2:40 pm
L25 wrote:
tan- can you explain? I can only think of reasons why its a bad idea to pay someone more just because they are married or have more kids and none for why its a good reason. usually I'm pretty good at seeing both sides but I just can't here.


I can try to explain. It has to with after 120 and building a beautiful jewish family.

DH got his salary doubled when we got married. He was earning nicely before the double. His entire job after our wedding the first 6 or 7 months was to fix up our house and make it habitable. DH's salary went to buy material and pay for labor. I asked his boss why he was so nice to us; after all, there is no business purpose here.

The boss explained that DH did so much chessed for the community that everytime someone uses a certain building he built, DH gets merit. By helping us when we needed help, the boss gets some of that merit.

BH we don't need that boost anymore and can pass it on to others. Our 2 families stayed close.
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L25




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 2:53 pm
so bosses aren't more likely to hire people with smaller families because it'll be cheaper? As mentioned some people have smaller families due to infertility and the costs can be huge. I think its a very dangerous practice and probably illegal.

I would also think that people with smaller families would look elsewhere for jobs.

If a boss wants to help out large families he can choose to spend his tzedakah that way, give nice cash presents... but I think salary should be based on work and work alone.

Did the boss do that for all of his employees or was your husband a good worker whom he liked?
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L25




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 3:10 pm
I'll admit that I have a small family and my dh is a baal teshuva. My dh would never stay in such a job but even just the concept would really bother him. I can't imagine that that's what Hashem wants...
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:17 pm
I'll explain to those who don't understand:
This used to be a tactic employees who couldn't otherwise get a raise, even if they were a long time employee & regardless of performance, used. They would try to awaken the rachmanas of the boss, that they can't pay their bills, as their family is growing, with these meager income, it just doesn't cover.
Yes, it was a tzedaka bderech kovod.
What the alternative would be....in a close knit community, where everyone knew each other, & you met up in shul....if that family couldn't make ends meet, & community would gather up funds, they would come to this business man for a donation. If people knew this man worked for him, he would get shamed, why this person needs community funds when he is employed by you? Cant you give him a decent wage? So this tactic worked.

Life & business was different then, you gave a job for yankel, because you wanted to give him a parnassah. ( if this was a nice boss he upped his salary as his family & expenses grew, without asking because he wanted to help him) Business owners mentality used to be: the more I save on payroll the more money I'll make ( those were the greedy stingy ones)
Yes...many did rather hire a single rather than married ^ woman rather than a man to save on payroll.

Life has changed. Today I don't think it works that way. Business owners today would rather hire & pay more for someone who has more training & better skill set. They view it rather as an investment that benefit their company, rather than waste of money to spend more on payroll. Being stingy & having mediocre employees doesn't make them richer just affects their company.
There's also more awareness today as making your employees happy to get better performance, by giving them incentives & making them place to grow in your company & that they can get promoted & better positions with better pay, just benefits everyone, especially the business, where happy employees can grow the company & there's more collaboration.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:26 pm
[quote="SixOfWands"]Are you living in some sort of company town where everyone works for Old man Scwartz
Yes I know such a company
B & H PHOTO employs thousands of frum yidden
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:29 pm
L25 wrote:
so bosses aren't more likely to hire people with smaller families because it'll be cheaper? As mentioned some people have smaller families due to infertility and the costs can be huge. I think its a very dangerous practice and probably illegal.

I would also think that people with smaller families would look elsewhere for jobs.

If a boss wants to help out large families he can choose to spend his tzedakah that way, give nice cash presents... but I think salary should be based on work and work alone.

Did the boss do that for all of his employees or was your husband a good worker whom he liked?


I think you missed the boss's reasoning. You can't change someone's beliefs. This is beyond laws.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:32 pm
L25 wrote:
so bosses aren't more likely to hire people with smaller families because it'll be cheaper? As mentioned some people have smaller families due to infertility and the costs can be huge. I think its a very dangerous practice and probably illegal.

I would also think that people with smaller families would look elsewhere for jobs.

If a boss wants to help out large families he can choose to spend his tzedakah that way, give nice cash presents... but I think salary should be based on work and work alone.

Did the boss do that for all of his employees or was your husband a good worker whom he liked?


It had nothing to do with him being a good worker. DH is a good Jew who donated hundreds of thousands of dollars and then fell on hard times. There are plenty of people the community supports.

This way DH kept his pride and was able to afford to get married.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:33 pm
[quote="dankbar"]
SixOfWands wrote:
Are you living in some sort of company town where everyone works for Old man Scwartz
Yes I know such a company
B & H PHOTO employs thousands of frum yidden


They are currently being sued because they give gifts to Jewish employees who have children and not non-Jews.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:46 pm
By B & H many start out there, going for an interview, straight from kolel knowing nothing. No training, schooling, job experience. All they know is that they need to provide for their family. They are given entry level jobs & get trained on the job. Don't know how it works there, getting upped in salary, if just having another baby works or you have go up in rung on ladder.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:49 pm
amother wrote:
They are currently being sued because they give gifts to Jewish employees who have children and not non-Jews.


They entered into a consent order last year

https://petapixel.com/2017/08/.....abor/

Another lawsuit was filed in November

https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora.....71983
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 4:50 pm
dankbar wrote:
By B & H many start out there, going for an interview, straight from kolel knowing nothing. No training, schooling, job experience. All they know is that they need to provide for their family. They are given entry level jobs & get trained on the job. Don't know how it works there, getting upped in salary, if just having another baby works or you have go up in rung on ladder.


Here's an article about the baby bonus lawsuit:

https://www.jpost.com/Diaspora.....71983
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 9:20 pm
The only way the rich are paying for poor in school is if in addition to reg price they are charged the diff of what others can't pay.

Let's say my ex before: Reg price is $500. Full tuition for working mom for her child is $500. She pays $500. So what's the problem? Her neighbor with five kids got a $500 discount for all her 5 kids together. Now is Richie paying her own kids $500 + her neighbors $500 that was discounted now? No. She is paying reg price not extra just because her neighbor got a discount. She's not paying the $500 that her neighbor can't pay.
Even if you say that yes....so she is paying $100 more than her neighbor is paying....that only covers one child that neighbor couldn't pay that $100. That's covering 1/5 of a 1/5 of her neighbors discount/many children cost.

Same idea as rich person goes into a expensive store & pays full price beginning season, because she wants the expensive stuff & could afford it. Comes end of season when there's huge deductions & her neighbor now pays 1/5 of the price for same dress she bought at beg of season. Would you say that first lady has a right to be angry at her neighbor because she sort of is paying her neighbors discount? No sense. Fact is that the only way store can make such huge deductions at end of season & taking the loss on the merchandise is by hiking up price more in beg so they made their profit already on merchandise by time end of season rolls around.
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mig100




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 9:27 pm
dankbar wrote:
The only way the rich are paying for poor in school is if in addition to reg price they are charged the diff of what others can't pay.

Let's say my ex before: Reg price is $500. Full tuition for working mom for her child is $500. She pays $500. So what's the problem? Her neighbor with five kids got a $500 discount for all her 5 kids together. Now is Richie paying her own kids $500 + her neighbors $500 that was discounted now? No. She is paying reg price not extra just because her neighbor got a discount. She's not paying the $500 that her neighbor can't pay.
Even if you say that yes....so she is paying $100 more than her neighbor is paying....that only covers one child that neighbor couldn't pay that $100.

Same idea as rich person goes into a expensive store & pays full price beginning season, because she wants the expensive stuff & could afford it. Comes end of season when there's huge deductions & her neighbor now pays 1/5 of the price for same dress she bought at beg of season. Would you say that first lady has a right to be angry at her neighbor because she sort of is paying her neighbors discount? No sense. Fact is that the only way store can make such huge deductions at end of season & taking the loss on the merchandise is by hiking up price more in beg so they made their profit already on merchandise by time end of season rolls around.


I don't follow ur calculation. Clothing pricing is also very dif from tuition

I really don't care how much anyone is paying in tuition. I just don't understand the question. Of course those who pay full r paying for thosd who don not

Simpl calculation

School says cost of running school per child is 10k. Full tuition is 13k. ( I know parents who were told this. Not the exact numbers)

Where is the extra 3k going if not to cover others tuition?

Again I don't care how mugch others pay or think it has any affect on me. I just don't get what u r saying
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 9:37 pm
there's a big difference in your example and tuition. The rich person chose to pay full price at the beginning, she was free to wait until the end of season and buy it then. The benefit of having it at the beginning of the season made it worth it to her. I can buy full price without going in to debt but I don't want to so I usually buy on sale. I've never been asked to say how many kids I have, how much I earn or anything else. If the item is for sale I can buy it. With tuition it's different. I have no choice. The school has decided that I should pay more because I can and because I have less kids I'm expected to pay more per child. I'm not sure how you can compare the two?
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 9:54 pm
dankbar wrote:
The only way the rich are paying for poor in school is if in addition to reg price they are charged the diff of what others can't pay.


Well yes, that's exactly how tuition works in almost every school. It's not possible for them to fundraise the difference between what people pay in total, and what they actually need to cover all their costs. So people who pay full tuition are paying for their own children plus partially covering the costs for other children.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:29 pm
dankbar wrote:
The only way the rich are paying for poor in school is if in addition to reg price they are charged the diff of what others can't pay.

Let's say my ex before: Reg price is $500. Full tuition for working mom for her child is $500. She pays $500. So what's the problem? Her neighbor with five kids got a $500 discount for all her 5 kids together. Now is Richie paying her own kids $500 + her neighbors $500 that was discounted now? No. She is paying reg price not extra just because her neighbor got a discount. She's not paying the $500 that her neighbor can't pay.
Even if you say that yes....so she is paying $100 more than her neighbor is paying....that only covers one child that neighbor couldn't pay that $100. That's covering 1/5 of a 1/5 of her neighbors discount/many children cost.

Same idea as rich person goes into a expensive store & pays full price beginning season, because she wants the expensive stuff & could afford it. Comes end of season when there's huge deductions & her neighbor now pays 1/5 of the price for same dress she bought at beg of season. Would you say that first lady has a right to be angry at her neighbor because she sort of is paying her neighbors discount? No sense. Fact is that the only way store can make such huge deductions at end of season & taking the loss on the merchandise is by hiking up price more in beg so they made their profit already on merchandise by time end of season rolls around.


The rich person who buys at the beginning of the season gets to enjoy the purchase when it's the height of fashion while the discount buyer catches it as it is going out of style. Some clothing companies that cater to the rich, destroy whatever isn't sold to prevent the rich from feeling like they are supplementing the cost of providing high end products to mid-level buyers. Some luxury lines never go on sale unless they are sold second hand.

Wealthy tuition payers are usually happy to donate far and above what it takes to educate their kids but the middle class is the one who feels pinched.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:57 pm
I know one hi end store that works this way. The only way they can do 70% off sales is by hiking price to a higher markup for the ones that could afford in beg of season& they feel good by paying more....for the high end brand
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 11:45 pm
dankbar wrote:
I know one hi end store that works this way. The only way they can do 70% off sales is by hiking price to a higher markup for the ones that could afford in beg of season& they feel good by paying more....for the high end brand


And people can only give their kids a Jewish education if they shop in that store?
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