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Do your kids get dessert if they didn't finish supper?
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:06 pm
Do you "threaten" them to finish eating or else they won't get dessert?

I'm asking from a chinuch hashkafic pov as well as from a pov of creating healthy eating habits.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:09 pm
Dessert gets served on Shabbos only. I never force them to finish supper, definitely never threaten them. If they are hungry later on then they can nosh on something healthy like fruit.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:09 pm
We don't really serve dessert Wink
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:10 pm
Dessert is only for shabbos. If they dont finish their dinner I save it for later if they're hungry again.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:11 pm
In my home "dessert" during the week is fruits or vegetables that each child can choose, and in fact I offer it so that no one goes to bed hungry even if he didn't like dinner.

On shabbos I do expect kids to eat a decent amount of real food before they can have dessert, but our shabbos meal has so many options that it's never an issue.
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:12 pm
Dessert only on Shabbat.

Weekdays if they want they can have a piece of fruit.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:13 pm
Yeah no dessert during the week unless its rosh chodesh or someone has something to celebrate. Our rule is always healthy food first. My kids eat what they want and if they are still hungry they can have a fruit. I like to use Ellyn Satters philosophy on eating. It really takes the drama out of meal time. https://www.ellynsatterinstitu.....ding/
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:14 pm
For all of you who answered dessert is only shabbos, do you make them eat the meal in order to get dessert? Does it matter at all what they ate before or does everyone get dessert anyway regardless of what was or wasn't eaten prior?
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:16 pm
Our rule is that everyone has to eat 1 protein and 1 veggie. It can be from any of the courses but if you eat that your good.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:17 pm
Before we serve goodies on shabbos I check in with each kid about how much protein they ate during the meal. I don't require a lot and they usually have 3 choices. As long as they ate some I don't make an issie and allow them to have treats.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:18 pm
OP, on shabbos they have to eat something normal before they can have dessert. Either a piece of fish, a bowl of soup, or some meat.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:18 pm
amother wrote:
For all of you who answered dessert is only shabbos, do you make them eat the meal in order to get dessert? Does it matter at all what they ate before or does everyone get dessert anyway regardless of what was or wasn't eaten prior?


I leave them alone with what they eat or don't eat. Desserts in my house aren't a thing. If they want something, they can take it.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:18 pm
mha3484 wrote:
Yeah no dessert during the week unless its rosh chodesh or someone has something to celebrate. Our rule is always healthy food first. My kids eat what they want and if they are still hungry they can have a fruit. I like to use Ellyn Satters philosophy on eating. It really takes the drama out of meal time. https://www.ellynsatterinstitu.....ding/

I enjoyed reading this for overall policy, but it doesn't help me with desserts which is specifically what I want to know.
It was rosh chodesh today. Wink
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amother
Pink


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:19 pm
they have to eat first. if they are not so hungry they can eat only a little and get a small treat.
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:22 pm
We never have dessert weekdays and when there is (on Shabbat, though not always then, either)) I never force my kids to finish their food first. I have strong memories of being made to finish my plate (as a kid, at a friend's house that I ate at regularly) and it's always left me with unpleasant memories. Plus, I don't think food is something you should barter about with your children; I think it fosters unhealthy associations with food. I might encourage my kids to make better choices at a certain meal but that's regardless of whether or not there is a dessert, and receiving dessert is not contingent on earning it in any way.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:22 pm
mha3484 wrote:
Our rule is that everyone has to eat 1 protein and 1 veggie. It can be from any of the courses but if you eat that your good.

I know it sounds like I'm being technical, but I want to understand this. How do you define 1 protein and 1 veggie? Does one mean one slice, one piece, one spoonful?
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:24 pm
Teomima wrote:
We never have dessert weekdays and when there is (on Shabbat, though not always then, either)) I never force my kids to finish their food first. I have strong memories of being made to finish my plate (as a kid, at a friend's house that I ate at regularly) and it's always left me with unpleasant memories. Plus, I don't think food is something you should barter about with your children; I think it fosters unhealthy associations with food. I might encourage my kids to make better choices at a certain meal but that's regardless of whether or not there is a dessert, and receiving dessert is not contingent on earning it in any way.

I'm trying to understand. If a kid would say "I don't like anything here" and not eat at all, you would have no problem giving them dessert? If they kid only eat (white) challa, do they then get dessert?
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:26 pm
I consider it a serving so a piece of fish, a bowl of soup, a serving of salad. A chicken leg or thigh. My kids are 2,4,8 so I have a good sense of what their typical portion is.
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:26 pm
If my 4 year old eats dinner nicely she gets a small dessert, like a Hershey kiss or a few chocolate chips. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. She knows this.
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chocolatecake




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 06 2019, 6:30 pm
My son who is five needs to eat more protein so I will serve dessert after supper if my kids ate protein and something else. Today was chicken potato and vegies and dessert was pareve hot cocoa.
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