Have you used a name you don't love?

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 9:48 am

I'm looking for advice from anyone who's btdt...
There's a name my dh loves, which I don't love, but don't necessarily dislike. As in I would never choose it, but it doesn't bother me.
I'm wondering whether using it anyway will be something I regret or learn to love.
I'm imagining telling people our dc is called this, and it feels weird- like a name is something they think I chose, but in this case it's not really me. (I wouldn't say I did it for dh).
Otoh I want dh to use the name he loves and I feel like it's a kind of gift to him that I'd love to give.

My question is, have you used a name you don't love, for dh (not named after someone)? Did you learn to love it or was it something you ended up resenting or just not being comfortable with?

amother

Amber

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 9:51 am

amother wrote:

Yes. Not a name I hate but just one I really don’t like but I learned to love it and it fits the child so well.

amother

Orange

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 10:33 am

I did, but not for dh. Not sure I would be ok with that. I used the name because it was my grandmother's name and we were very close, so I really wanted to use it. I'll be honest and say that I still don't love the name itself. But I'm very happy I gave it anyway, and luckily my DD likes it a lot.

Rappel

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 10:39 am

I did, same exact situation. It's a second name, and we don't always use it in conversation. I feel like it's too much, but I did it to help DH connect to our daughter, and he definitely does, so Smile

amother

Teal

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 11:05 am

I was going to use a name that I actually didn't like, but was able to talk DH out of it. (I'm pregnant now). I think we're going to end up using a name that I'm neutral about. Both were dead relatives of DH, but one of them I didn't know and I don't like his name; the other was someone I knew and liked and I feel neutral about the name itself.

Tzutzie

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:35 pm

amother wrote:

This.
It was after my dh's great grandmother and his grandmother (the daughter) was still alive then.
I don't love love the name. But it's a fairly typical name. Which was also a turn off. (Think Chaya, Chana, Sarah, Leah.....) oddly enough, my dd actually likes that there are so many kids who have the same name as her! Lol. Go figure.

The name grew on me with time. Because I do love love my daughter and by association, I grew to like the name more. It really made my grandmother happy therefore it made dh and me happy. And what matters most, it sounds like my daughter really loves her name. And all different kinds of nicknames and ways you can call her.

If it's not a name you hate, and your not a very sentimental type, I'd go for it.

keym

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:41 pm

We had that. Grandparent name that my husband loved and I didn't love. But I connected to a fairly common nickname of that name. (Like Miri for Miriam). I still don't love the name Miriam, but I started loving the name Miri. So everyone is happy.

amother

Plum

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:55 pm

Yes I did, we call her by a nickname and it’s fine. Personally would only do this when naming after grandparents. I wouldn’t go back an extra generation or to great aunts / uncles to choose a name I don’t like.

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:56 pm

I didn't use any names I disliked but I got to choose the best of the bunch from the list that dh wanted.
And he got to choose from the best of the bunch that I wanted. Smile

Last edited by ra_mom on Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Olive

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 12:57 pm

amother wrote:

I did, recently. Not named after someone. Child is still a baby so I can't answer your last question about loving it or resenting it.
Is there a different name that you like more than the name dh loves?
Was the baby born yet? If not, is it possible that once the baby is born you'll decide either that the name fits this baby perfectly, or that you truly don't want to use the name for this baby?

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 1:07 pm

Gave my 1st daughter a grandparents name that was biblical and very typical. It's ok. Still don't love and dont hate. 2nd daughter same situation came up but I had more balls so we gave 2 names. One very typical and one that literally no one has. I love it and she owns it and all our friends and family think were crazy and that makes me love it more! Yep go ahead and give me hugs for being CRAZY !

mommyhood

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 1:11 pm

We name after relatives so none of my kids have names I would have chosen had I been able to choose from any name in existence but they’re all normal names. I will not give a name I truly dislike.

HappyGoLucky1

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 1:19 pm

Sure did, a few times. I was apprehensive at first but now I can't imagine my kids names being anything else! It grows on you and a child's name has a way of clicking with their personality. Beshaa tova!

amother

Brown

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 1:23 pm

I gave a name that I don't necessarily dislike . It's the name of my ex . When my son was born I really wanted to name him after my grandfather . I'm super close to my mom and it's her father's name . He actually has 2 names . One of it is my ex's name .
We call him mostly by his first name but in class everyone uses both names and it totally doesn't bother me

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Feb 21 2019, 2:16 pm

Yes. I names after DH's grandfather. Never cared for the name but it has grown on me. I don't love, love, love it, but I definitely don't regret it.

My SIL named after DH's grandmother. She was dreading giving that name. Baby is 3 mos now. I asked her if the name has grown on her and she said, "OMG yes! It's such a perfect name for her! I love it!" (That's how she talks, with exclamations and all :-) )