Dilemma - what would you do?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Household Management

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 3:22 am

Apologies if this is the wrong forum.

So I live OOT, and we are a one-car-car-too-small-for-us family which means that whenever we go somewhere as a family we rent a second car to fit in the overflow.

This usually works reasonably well even though it is very very very inconvenient.

But now sadly a relative of DH passed away and he needs to go. With all said and done he will be gone for about a week.

I have transportation to school squared away, but I am unsure what to do otherwise. Either DH can rent a car for his trip, which will be expensive, or he can leave us without a car. I am tempted to have him rent because he will need to do a lot of driving and our car is old and not in great shape. Plus, then we have a vehicle at home.

BUT even if he leaves us with the car, we would need to double buckle to fit everyone in.

I am of mixed feelings here. Things are too far to walk where I live, and although I can arrange to buy groceries before he leaves I don't like the idea of being stuck at home for a full week basically. But I also do not like the idea of double buckling. Like I said I have school transportation (that's for the older kids, I work at home with the younger ones) worked out with help from others but cannot expect it for any other excursions, especially because it's all or nothing (can't leave the kids at home obviously!).

I think I have come to a decision, but I am unhappy about it so wanted to hear some more perspectives. (I do appreciate any creative solutions, but fair warning there are many other factors involved here which make other options kind of moot. So primarily I am looking for perspective on making peace with one of the situations as it is, without changing the variables which are pretty much stuck for reasons too complicated to explain.)

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 3:46 am

Public transportation?
Asking someone to watch the kids while you run errands?

If sounds like if your car breaks down on DH while he's away, it will be a big setback for the whole family. I'd rent a little budget car just to be on the safe side.

amother

Green

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:19 am

Is taking a taxi cab not an option? Cheaper than renting..

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:20 am

Uber, Lyft, car service?

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:49 am

Uber, Lyft, taxi etc, all don't work because we don't fit in a taxi either! I will just have to run all errands before DH leaves or else do the dreaded double buckle (if he leaves us the car).

There are no budget rental cars here, it will be at least $230 if he rents, not including gas, tolls, parking, etc.

I am trying to wrap my brain around being housebound for a week, or double buckling. Don't love either option. Sad

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:53 am

There's nothing to do withing walking distance of your house? No parks, coffee shops, etc?

You must be at the far end of the suburbs.

This would be a good time to get to know your neighbors better, and see if you can arrange someone to watch the kids while you go out. A babysitter is cheaper than a car rental.

amother

Violet

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:54 am

Sorry for your loss. My plan: he rents a car and you arrange for babysitting when you need to go out. Order groceries online. And, as I'm sure you know, it's time to start saving up for a bigger car.

Raisin

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:54 am

Can you do errands while older kids are in school? Definitely stock up on milk, meat, produce, frozen veggies and other essentials. Plan your menu for the week.

Raisin

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 4:56 am

An expensive option would be to rent a big sized car while husband takes your car. But probably better to suffer for a week snd put that money towards buying s bigger car.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 5:15 am

The park is TECHNICALLY within walking distance, but because of the terrain and the weather not very practical at all. For various reasons babysitters and doing errands doing school hours are also not options, like I said the situation is more or less immutable, the flexible part is my attitude!

I am not worried about running out of food, like I said I will just make sure to shop before he leaves. (I usually only shop once a week and keep milk and meat etc in the freezer.)

We are in debt and need to borrow money for this trip as it is, so there are no savings going towards a bigger car unfortunately either way! That will take a miracle Smile

grace413

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 5:18 am

DH should rent a car. You cannot be stuck without a car even if you can't fit the whole family into it.

imasinger

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 5:21 am

Since you say you have a plan, but just don't feel great about it because there are no better options, I won't try to brainstorm. Just to offer hugs and support, and say that this is a big mitzvah you are doing, to be menachem aveil.

May you be rewarded with what you need most.

MitzadSheini

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 5:39 am

Just one idea. Is there a Whats App Group or something just for you neighbourhood where you could place an ad: "Looking to swap my <small> Car for a <l2> Seater for a week beginning Tues. Will also pay you. Please call etc." otherwise I personally would not double buckle.

or if not... hope it all goes ok. Often with these things the " anticipation" is worse than the thing itself.

Aylat

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 5:53 am

Until relatively we also had only one car and it was too small for everyone to fit in. We don't double buckle, and when we went away as a family we either rented another car like you, or I and a kid had to travel by (longer) public transport routes.

I hardly ever had use of the car because DH needed it to travel to work and worked long and non-conventional hours. When we moved somewhere with no public transport I felt claustrophobic! I couldn't buy the kids shoes, take them to dentist appointments etc. At least there was a grocery and lots of parks nearby, which is better than your situation. It's really tough! No advice, since you know your situation best and can make the best decision. Just some empathy and kol hakavod to you.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 6:21 am

Thank you, I really appreciate it!

I know it's temporary, and I'll make it through. Was just feeling really unhappy about it, and having the acknowledgment from others that it IS hard and I'm not just overreacting has really helped me settle with the situation. Thank you so, so much.

Hashem certainly knows His customers, and I am hoping (as has happened with other situations in the past) that I will see it was worth waiting, and Hashem will send us a very reliable big enough family vehicle that I can feel good about (and a new reliable car for DH, since we can daven for anything!). I hope that the right time will be very soon!

amother

Gray

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 6:36 am

Yes, I am hoping for you to get a new, big enough car for your family very soon!

In the meantime, I feel that it would be too hard on you emotionally to be left without a car for a long week. Even if you only end up using it 1x a week, you will feel better knowing it’s right there for you just in case. (What if someone gets sick??)
Also, you said that it’s not reliable enough for your dh to take on a long distance trip so you should look into the cheapest car rental option for him.
Don’t start thinking how you really can’t afford it... it’s just part of life and you really have no choice,
Maybe Hashem send you parnasa brevach soon so you can have more peace of mind.

Raisin

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 8:22 am

If you think you will actually be using the car eg taking little kids to the park then keep it. If not, then assuming your kids have school, you can always take a taxi in an emergency. There are bigger sized taxis and ubers.

amother

Peach

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 8:29 am

op- hugs. it sounds tough. can you see about borrowing toys or something to make home more exciting this week? Please don't double buckle!

Page 1 of 1