The Help | Imamother

youngishbear

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 1:05 am

Ravenclaw wrote:

So here’s my thoughts so far...
First time I read the book I was very impressed with the distinct voices (dialect and all). But now it does seem slightly odd, especially since it’s a white woman writing it. I just finished The Hate U Give on shabbos, and one of the things I liked was that the MC (first person POV) spoke in ghetto slang but the author herself grew up in the hood.
Otherwise it kind of seems offensive.
On the other hand...
Thoughts?

I agree that after reading The Hate U Give, stories about race by white authors feel different. In general that book gave me an interesting perspective on the complexities of police and community relations.

sl18

Mon, Mar 04 2019, 3:32 am

I agree... especially since the way someone's dialect is, is not necessarily how the person speaks inside his/her head.

reading it for the first time- on chapter 5. Really interesting time period (not slavery, but not either modern day yet- that transitional period around the time of Rosa Parks)

It's fascinating to me that there were electric mixers, TV, and Crisco at that time. For some reason learning about that time period in school, they made it seem like so long ago. It's really horrible how recently this kind of thing was going on...

gingertop

Mon, Mar 11 2019, 1:24 pm

Ravenclaw wrote:

I found the dialect bothersome for the first few chapters and then I sort of forgot about it as the story unfolded. Some of the ghetto talk was like come on. But the voices of the three different characters was well done. I don't think the unique grammar was necessary. The characters were enough well developed that they didn't need their thoughts written in ghetto slang.

There was a very light yet persistent and growing tension that kept me glued to the story.

Spoiler alert:
I found the idea of the pie insurance horrifying and amusing, uncomfortable and schadenfreudalicious. No question Hilly deserved that.

I didn't really get the Celia and Johnny sideshow. He seems too good for the story, both to Minny and to Celia. And his character is just not fleshed out enough. It's a shame because he's the only decent white person besides Skeeter and Celia is so pathetic, she's almost repulsive.

tigerwife

Mon, Mar 11 2019, 1:32 pm

I just finished reading this book! It was my first time (never watched the movie either) and I loved it. I think what makes a book fabulous to me is the realness of the characters, when are are fleshed out so deeply, you can feel their emotions and understand their decisions. The characters are alive; nobody is 100% good or evil. Some are mysteries, like Mrs. Phelan. You can see how Elizabeth sadly continues the cycle of emotional abuse she suffered with her own mother. Even Hilly has some good sides to her, like the way she mothers her children.

I read about the criticism regarding the white heroine and I have to disagree. Aibeleen is such a strong character. Skeeter would be nowhere without her. Minny is fabulous too but Aibeleen is definitely the heroine. Her scenes with Mo Maebly are heartbreaking. She is so humble and refined, but is iron inside. She proves that you don’t have to be a “macher” to really make a difference.

I think Celia’s story is so heartbreaking. I know you mainly view her character as a spoiled ditz through Minny’s eyes, but her sad story still leaks through. Her awful childhood, the bullying she receives from the other women in town, and her inability to carry a pregnancy through... it’s so sad that she is desperate for a friend and is open to Minny, who has learned lifelong never to trust or even care about a white woman. Like it said at the end, at the end of the day, we are all women with our own little packages. I wonder how life can get better for Celia. At the beginning, I suspected her husband was abusive, but he turned out to be loving. It’s still not 100% clear to me if she is simply uneducated and naive or not smart at all. She’s an example of a woman who should have it all but is simple unable to be a receptacle for her own blessings.

In a way, this was a coming of age story more than a hero’s tale for Skeeter. She learns to break free of the fake society she is tied to, she learns to be confident and believe in herself. Her book is a success but it is she who grows the most through it’s development. It isn’t clear how many people will still be negatively affected by if. In a way, the book’s mixed consequences are so realistic. Nothing that happens can be fully good or fully bad. Sometimes you need to weigh the odds, and sometimes you will be faced with many consequences. Life is so complicated.

Anyway, that my basic ramble of a review (I did stay up till 3am last night finishing it after all). Would love to hear more thoughts!

causemommysaid

Mon, Mar 11 2019, 1:56 pm

I find that in today's generation any book or show that isnt following "white people are evil and privileged and black people are victims" gets criticized as whitewashing or racist. The problem with that is it's not factually accurate. The equal rights movement needed white advocates to help them or they would not have been as successful. There is nothing inherently racist to say that white advocates helped the movement along with Martin Luther, Rosa Parks, etc. Both were neccessary.

Would any of these stories come out without Skeeter writing them? Probably not. Women like her were needed. The book also goes through her own transformation to becoming a true advocate and recognizing how she was at a unique advantage to be able to tell their stories. I loved Abeleen and Minny. I kept hoping Elizabeth would stand up to Hilly but that sadly didnt happen.

Ravenclaw

Mon, Mar 11 2019, 2:27 pm

I mostly found that the book was very relevant to our daily lives regarding "the help". Many of us frum women have large families and need to hire help, who are usually minorities. The way Hilly and her friends disregarded these women, treating them like second class citizens, was sadly way to familiar to me. At the time though, I felt that all I could do was treat the women working for me well, but that I did not have any influence over others. I often hear people make disparaging remarks about their cleaning help, and until I read the book I felt that while I disagreed in theory, saying something would just be weird and make me look silly. It's easy to imagine that speaking up like Skeeter did is easy, but in reality it is not. Since reading the book I find myself unable to laugh it off when people will say racist and mean things about their hired help. I don't always have the confidence, but I try to.

gingertop

Mon, Mar 11 2019, 2:32 pm

Causemommysaid- I completely agree that people should appreciate the solitary members of the oppressor class who've helped minorities. I cannot understand the criticism of "white saviors". They gave up friendships, their own safety and occasionally lives to help.
I think all minorities should have a version of "chassidei umos ha'olam". Of course, there are never enough of the good guys and perhaps some of the white saviors have imperfect records. When that's the case, their records should reflect that. I don't see why one would denigrate all the people who really did wonderful things for minorities.