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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
ADHD Meds
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How has the medication experience been for your child?
Totally smooth and great!  
 22%  [ 10 ]
Bumpy but doing well now.  
 27%  [ 12 ]
Tried it and wasn't worth the downsides.  
 25%  [ 11 ]
We won't try it.  
 15%  [ 7 ]
My kid refuses to take it.  
 9%  [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 44



amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 11:38 am
My son has ADHD. My husband is very against meds; I'm on the fence. We've been to a therapist with him, supplements, etc. He's K"ah quite bright and picks up the classroom material quite quickly. We brought him to a psychiatrist recently who heard my husband's concerns about meds and said if it's not affecting him academically or self-image, and we're seeing improvement and the school's willing to work with us, then there's no need to medicate.
But now he's having a very hard time with 1 teacher which is starting to affect his self image and causing issues in other classes.
I'd like to gain a little more clarity about meds:
So many people here say it's a lifesaver for them and their kid- but then don't give it on shabbos. I don't understand- if it's really so wonderful why not give it every day? If it's not so wonderful, why are we giving it to our children?
I know written out this may seem like an attack but it's not. I want to truly understand.
I've been a teacher and I've seen children turn into zombies but I've also seen it make a child into a mensch. But then when parents won't give the meds on Shabbos or in the summer, it makes me suspect that they're actually not so happy with the meds. Or am I missing something here?

Just one more piece: are your kids happy to take the meds? If medication really lets them be successful, makes life smoother and helps them be happier with themselves, why wouldn't they be asking for it?
Reading this over, it sounds a bit antagonistic, but know that I'm really trying to see if I can get to a point that I'm so positive about meds that my husband will go along with it.

TIA!!
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amother
Puce


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 12:00 pm
I'm happy to answer to answer your post, I have lots of positive to say about giving kids meds.
I have several children on medication for ADHD and it has been a lifesaver bh. We do give it on shabbos.
I was extremely against medicating and tried all alternatives without luck! Until I came to my senses and they are now delicious well behaved successful children bh.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 12:06 pm
DH was very anti meds and I was more mixed. We have compromised and gone with two non stimulants, a cocktail of natural supplements, therapy and a good parenting method for kids like him. I think that all combined its working well for him. We may end up going the stimulant route but hopefully can push it off for a while longer.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 12:12 pm
My daughter was always well behaved, just unfocused. She probably started meds later than most (8th grade), but taking the meds has never been a struggle and I've never had to talk her into it - she herself sees that academics are much easier on the meds and takes them herself. She takes them when she feels she needs to concentrate, so it's generally when she's working or at school.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 1:33 pm
My ds is on 2 meds and I don't see much difference behavior wise. The issue is my ds still thinks (no matter how many times we explain to him) that the meds will change his behavior instead of him needing to work on himself.
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 1:45 pm
amother wrote:

I was extremely against medicating and tried all alternatives without luck! Until I came to my senses and they are now delicious well behaved successful children bh.
-
We've tried alternatives (and found them somewhat helpful) and done almost what mha348 has done, just without the meds.

Amother brunette- my son actually is trying so hard to behave better. When we were using a magnesium (+B vitamins) supplement and a weighted vest he was so happy that they made things easier for him. We stopped the magnesium even though it made him much calmer- because it also made his outbursts much more frequent and more intense. B"H, he no longer needs the vest because he got better at sitting at his desk.
He would be happy if something would help him but he's trying so hard on his own as well.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 2:27 pm
I was also against medicine but now I have a number of kids on it and it's saving them.

it's not magic and it's hard when it is wearing off but it helps them be successful.
my 16 year has told me a few times what a miracle it is with it (she was referring to my 12 year old who didn't get it 1 day by mistake and we saw such a difference) - I usually do give my kids on shabbos as it helps them act their age

if you can afford it an adhd coach can help you and your child understand the medicine more and guide you to get the most out of it
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 7:02 pm
DS's stomach needed to get used to it and I almost gave up because I didn't think it was worth the side effects. That was 3 years ago. Not long after he started he adjusted well. It's very helpful and he's not a zombie. I try to skip doses when we can get away with it but it actually helps things go better at home too.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 7:24 pm
I was on meds as a kid. Was a life saver then. I no longer take them and am doing fine.

If I could go back in time I would have not taken them over the weekend because I needed practice functioning without. The first year was very difficult.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 7:34 pm
I've worked with a lot of kids with ADHD and when meds are involved it's usually option #2 - bumpy start but found the right groove. I had maybe one #3 (too many fails, not worth it.)

I have found the kids range from cooperative to enthusiastic once they see how meds help them. Nobody likes feeling out of control.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 7:38 pm
amother wrote:
My ds is on 2 meds and I don't see much difference behavior wise. The issue is my ds still thinks (no matter how many times we explain to him) that the meds will change his behavior instead of him needing to work on himself.

That attitude upsets me so much. It's not just ADHD, you hear this about many mental and emotional problems. If working on yourself works, great. But if it's an endless frustrating struggle, that means something is blocked and needs to get out of the way in order for your efforts to be successful.
Also, you wish any medication is going to fix a person's middos without their own effort. Medication is the BEGINNING of the work because before, they weren't able to even start.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Mar 13 2019, 8:32 pm
amother wrote:
My ds is on 2 meds and I don't see much difference behavior wise. The issue is my ds still thinks (no matter how many times we explain to him) that the meds will change his behavior instead of him needing to work on himself.


I hope you're seeing improvement in areas other than behavior?
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 1:06 am
OP, thanks for this post. We plan to try medication soon. I wish I would have given this serious consideration before. I just kept focusing on good parenting, consistency, systems, structure, and whatever else parenting methods taught me. I wasn’t in denial, I really had no idea there was a solution. DC can feel the effects of the condition Crying
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 5:34 am
My daughter is on meds but I don’t give them if there is no school. The real problem she has is focusing and when she’s home I don’t really have a problem with her. I would’ve preferred to have worked with her more to help her deal with adhd but unfortunately the teacher really wasn’t very supportive of the suggestions from the OT.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 9:16 am
amother wrote:
My daughter is on meds but I don’t give them if there is no school. The real problem she has is focusing and when she’s home I don’t really have a problem with her. I would’ve preferred to have worked with her more to help her deal with adhd but unfortunately the teacher really wasn’t very supportive of the suggestions from the OT.


I just want to say that unfortunately it's very, very difficult for children to implement any method successfully to deal with difficulty focusing. I've seen time and time again how children, teachers and parents struggle to put into place all the recommendations for increasing focus in school, and there's limited success. It's so frustrating and the child often feels like a failure. If the medication is helping her at school and she feels normal and successful in that regard, you did the best thing for her self esteem.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 10:18 am
My child has been on meds for ADHD for almost 3 years.

The doctor warned not to stop the dosage on shabbos or summer time, it can have withdrawal type side affects which are dangerous health wise. Also if you stop meds on shabbos then Mondays the child has to readdress and start all over again which starts the week out difficult.

Please be careful not to stop dosages without first checking with the doctor.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 10:36 am
I have difficulty understanding how so many parents are so against medication for ADHD. If your child had asthma or diabetes, would you use minimally effective"natural" remedies. These medications have been a lifesaver for my child. Not treating their condition can effect their self-esteem, and continue a cycle of failure for a child, which can effect them for many years to come. What do you have to lose by trying medication? It is not surgery. If you are unhappy with the results, it is easily discontinued. The reason people don't give medication on weekends, or during the summer may be because of side effects. Weight loss could be an issue, so it really does depend on the individual child. My child would not have been able to remain in Yeshiva without it. I am so grateful that these medications exist. My child is currently in college, and doing so well. I wish you all the best. It isn't easy, but you can overcome this challenge.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 8:47 pm
I hope it's ok for me to give my two cents here... I don't have a child on ADHD meds, but I was recently diagnosed with ADHD myself and it was a very bumpy start while I tried different medications but once I got the right medication and the right dose, all I can say is WOW I wish I'd discovered this earlier in my life. It helps me in so many areas of my functioning... It's incredible. I can't tell you how many times I've wished I could have been on meds as a child... School was a tremendous struggle for me and it took a huge toll on my self esteem
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amother
Gold


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 9:24 pm
My son is on medication but I didn't vote because while hes doing better on them, he is still struggling very much. We are still playing with dosage.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Thu, Mar 14 2019, 11:42 pm
My ds has ADHD and after a few years we are still struggling to get the right medication. It's been so hard that he's been asked to leave school. I do have two questions though, what is an ADHD coach and how can you find one and how does OT help a child with ADHD? Thank you
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