Don’t ask someone where they are for Seudah - Vent

greenfire

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 12:26 pm

as with everything there is a balance ...

what if you're not sure if what will follow will be an invite

maybe you don't want to impose yet are otherwise alone
[& by alone I don't mean with a husband as that is not actually alone]

people who are in avel could feel uncomfortable

those not in the mood of the purim insanity might not feel like going to a seuda ~ do you want their real response

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Mar 20 2019, 7:01 am

We haven’t been invited anywhere this year but we also haven’t invited. I’m working from 10 am to 5 pm. I’ll make dinner enough for me, my husband and son but we also have to cook for Shabbat. Also, when you don’t drink and eat carefully all the time, sometimes it’s nice to be at home too. If I was invited, I’d go, but I’d still probably keep it short since I have to cook for Shabbat. No shame, just practical. And tonight I’m not going to my shul reading because my asd son has class, so I’m picking him up at 9:30 and going to the 10:30 pm Chabad reading for university students! That will be the first in a long time I’ve not been to my shul for purim.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Mar 20 2019, 8:18 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I'm the opposite . I am eating home alone. I don't have family nearby that I'm able to go to, because of some dysfunction there . I don't really have friends. It makes me feel good and cared about when someone is genuinely sensitive enough to ask me where we are eating. I've had more than once that DHs friends spontaneously invited us for the meal when we showed up to deliver mm and we ended up enjoying it very much.

I think it case by case. Some people are just nosy and even though they know that the person they are talking to is not popular or connected they ask it anyway and I do think some people are just like to be a bully and rub it in. But there are situations that you know that the person you are asking have a large family and a lot of friends and you are just making a conversation and even if they are home alone for Purim it’s their choice and not something they are forced to do. And sometimes it’s like thunderstorm that you know that you can Novotel them the last minute and they won’t feel bad about it and you are really interested in helping.