Do you ever hide on Purim?

amother

Jade

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 5:18 pm

I gotta admit sometimes I just don’t want to answer the door when random people come with shalach manos and I don’t have one prepared for them. Enough is enough. I want to just give those I’m giving to (a lot) and not other people so I’m really thinking about not answering the door beyond that.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 5:29 pm

thats honestly disgusting. someone is coming to give you maybe they think they are close to you, maybe they dont have a lot of friends etc. and you have your people so you dont care? sounds very selfish.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 5:57 pm

When I saw the title, my first reaction was YES!! but then I read your post and my answer is no! I would never ignore someone who made the effort to come to me.

I do want to hide on Purim because I'm an introvert and tend to get overwhelmed from all the people and activity.

33055

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:00 pm

OP, do you feel bad hiding from the people ?

You should prepare extras knowing that people value you and are likely to show up. For their sake, answer the door.

ra_mom

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:02 pm

Can you keep gift bags available and throw in items that you want to regift from incoming MM? The extra people who come that you weren't expecting, you can just keep opening and repacking in between each ring of the door.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:03 pm

I prep 30
DH takes 10 to shul
As soon I get Shaloch Manot I unpack them and make new ones.

Raisin

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:03 pm

Nothing wrong with regifting if you run out. At least you won't be left with stuff you don't eat. Obviously only regift bought food, not homemade.

Make a few extra mm, or buy some extra gift bags you can put things in if more people come. Always have one MM ready.

Since you remember this is an issue, you have time to plan.

So nice that people come to you. You must be a lot nicer then you sound in your OP in real life to have so many people coming to give you MM.

amother

Plum

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:05 pm

ra_mom wrote:

I like this idea. Op, how many unexpected people on average come each year? If it's not a significant number, just plan to make that many extra this year. If it can be 15 or whatever, just have cheap bags with repackaged (non homemade) foods from other mishloach manos to quickly put together in the kitchen.

amother

Denim

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:07 pm

I hear you. The social obligations of Purim can be challenging. I don't know how many "extra" mm to prepare, or whether or not another member of my family already delivered to a certain person, and so on. Regifting is not so easy, logistically, and if you don't have something ready on the spot the recipient feels like a nebbach waiting for recycled mm. It's easier when we're not at home during prime mm delivery time, either doing our own drop-offs or at work.

zaq

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:07 pm

amother wrote:

I prep 30
DH takes 10 to shul
As soon I get Shaloch Manot I unpack them and make new ones.

Me, too! It only makes sense.

southernbubby

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:16 pm

Believe it or not, non-Jews have the same problem with their holidays. All of their blogs and articles talk about the overwhelming day of December 25 when Aunt Mary may show up with gifts and the family has to have some reserve gifts on hand. Then they have all the drama of whose gifts were better, etc and who invited who.
Some people don't exactly like this.

amother

Tangerine

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:16 pm

amother wrote:

Who are these "random people"?

Are these people who were randomly assigned your house to deliver MM?

Laiya

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:49 pm

I hear how it could be exhausting. Otoh, it's a good thing that you are a part of a warm community where you are thought of, and appreciated.

amother

Jade

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 9:56 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you, very helpful (speaking of disgusting Can't Believe It

)

amother

Jade

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 9:57 pm

Raisin wrote:

No according to the people here I’m beyond redemption

amother

Yellow

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 9:59 pm

Purim is a really tough holiday for me (I know it's not supposed to be - but it just is) Give me Pesach cleaning any day over Purim.

So I understand what you mean. It's much better for me now that I work and don't host a huge seuda. I hear early megilla in the morning, hand off a few MM to people at shul, partake of a quick and early seudah there, and off to work I go. It's the way that I'm most happy on Purim. DH and the kids love it - driving around all day, answering the door. I do feel like the Purim grinch.

amother

Blue

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 10:22 pm

Can u keep a case of grape juice and chocolate bars or something else handy and just hand those to ppl who you don't expect?

amother

Tan

Tue, Mar 19 2019, 10:31 pm

You sound mostly like a self conscious person who feels uncomfortable with a lot of socializing. I get it, I'm kinda like that, too. By the same token, though, I would be mortified to have people come over and not have to give something in return. Maybe next year, you could send Purim cards through the mail ahead of time. Then the recipients could choose to mail one back instead of dropping by your house on Purim.