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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
Kids using Sholoch Monos to hurt
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:52 pm
The boy could also be taking mom for a ride
"yeah there's 21, but one kid is allergic and one won't eat the hechsher and one will be absent anyways"
A busy, overwhelmed or out of touch mom won't question a 10 yr old further, if he's old enough to pack it, he's old enough to count.
The q is whether mom is indeed any of the above and who exactly is shopping or packing for it
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aricelli




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:00 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
While you cannot control everything that your kids do, you probably have a class list, and know that there are 21, not 15, kids in the class. So in this case, the parents probably were complicit.

I guess your right on this one!
Enjoy the rest of your purim!
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:25 pm
amother wrote:
My ten and a half year old son came home very sad yesterday. One of the popular boys in his class brought 15 sholoch monos to school -for a class of 21. He made a big show of who he is and isn’t giving to. He also had a very showy sholoch monos -with expensive treats & a very “in” toy gadget. This is not the first time, he has done many such similar things over the years. How would you deal with this? Involve the teacher? The mom? Principal? Just ignore it & try to build my child up, and tell him unfortunately there are ppl that act very not nice in this world? And how do I get over this myself? -feeling such a deep hurt for my boy!
(My son b”h has many friends, is confident, and as I know and I’m told by his teachers & others -a very kind, giving, sensitive boy.)
TIA!


I totally sympathize.

Im middle aged and B"H relatively confident and easygoing, but I still VERY CLEARLY remember feeling left out by some at Bais Yaakov elementary school, 50 years ago!

Shame on him/them.

May your son and all your children give you amazing Nachas!
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:35 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
While you cannot control everything that your kids do, you probably have a class list, and know that there are 21, not 15, kids in the class. So in this case, the parents probably were complicit.

I disagree. I am very on top of my kids, but I have absolutely no idea how many kids are in any of their classes.
I’m not sure why you are insistent on laying blame in the first place, eacpecislly when you know nothing about what’s going on. What’s the purpose?
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Mevater




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:40 pm
Raw wrote:
Wow, that is so hurtful and inappropriate. I would imagine the school has a policy in place regarding this sort of thing (party invitations etc.) which would logically extend to MM.
I would definitely bring it up with the teachers and/or principal.
I’m going to be DLZ here and think that the boys’ parents are clueless and aren’t too involved in managing their kids MM.


Unfortunately, in M O S T cases those kinds of kids that OP is describing, are a chip off the old block!
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:56 pm
Ema of 4 wrote:
I disagree. I am very on top of my kids, but I have absolutely no idea how many kids are in any of their classes.
I’m not sure why you are insistent on laying blame in the first place, eacpecislly when you know nothing about what’s going on. What’s the purpose?


You don't have a class list? You depend upon your 7 year old, or 10 year old, to remember exactly how many kids are in the class?

I do know what is going on here. A kid deliberately excluded certain kids from MM. And he made a show of it, in order to hurt the few kids that he excluded.

And you really believe that the best way to deal with this is to go to the parents, and tell them ... what. This is an issue for the school to deal with, in terms of their policies.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 3:03 pm
amother wrote:
My ten and a half year old son came home very sad yesterday. One of the popular boys in his class brought 15 sholoch monos to school -for a class of 21. He made a big show of who he is and isn’t giving to. He also had a very showy sholoch monos -with expensive treats & a very “in” toy gadget. This is not the first time, he has done many such similar things over the years. How would you deal with this? Involve the teacher? The mom? Principal? Just ignore it & try to build my child up, and tell him unfortunately there are ppl that act very not nice in this world? And how do I get over this myself? -feeling such a deep hurt for my boy!
(My son b”h has many friends, is confident, and as I know and I’m told by his teachers & others -a very kind, giving, sensitive boy.)
TIA!


Does the school also allow children to pass out invitations to parties to only some kids? Every school I have ever sent my kids to has a policy that you give (be it b-day party invitations, MM, or anything else) to everyone or to nobody.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 4:18 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
You don't have a class list? You depend upon your 7 year old, or 10 year old, to remember exactly how many kids are in the class?

I do know what is going on here. A kid deliberately excluded certain kids from MM. And he made a show of it, in order to hurt the few kids that he excluded.

And you really believe that the best way to deal with this is to go to the parents, and tell them ... what. This is an issue for the school to deal with, in terms of their policies.

I actually said nothing of what you say I said, beyond the first paragraph. I agree what the kid did was deliberately hurtful, I’m not sure where you think I said otherwise.
What I DONT agree with is blaming the mom. You have no idea what goes on in that house. You have no idea how much time or energy the parents put into this kid, or any of their kids.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2019, 5:04 pm
Mad
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2019, 7:27 pm
OP, I hope you reached out to the school and that they responded well. When things like this have happened to my kids, I realized that I need to speak up not just for my own kids' sake, but for the sake of the other children who could have their feelings hurt, as well as the sake of the kid who did the hurting.

Our children need to learn good middot in school, and the teachers need to be aware of things like this so they can be addressed, and prevented from happening in the future. Our children need to understand that our community has no space for this kind of exclusion to happen. I'm sorry this happened to your son, and that no adult noticed what was happening and intervened. How awful.
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