Out of control parties in NY

rainbow dash

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:40 pm

https://www.theyeshivaworld.co.....OAGTU

So Purim is over, the hangovers are long gone, but many youngsters – and even adults – are now suffering thanks to the out of control open parties plaguing our communities.

Let’s keep in short and straight to the point.

Why is it that some “gevirim”, whether they’ve been around for years or others that just began making a few dollars the last year (or make believe they did), feel the need to throw the most insane lavish parties open to the public?

One party in the Ir Hatorah of Lakewood, a party that likely cost around $250,000 (including a full band, massive tent, multiple superstar singers, tons and tons of food, open bars) caused more damage than any possible good. Taaruvos galore, with boys and girls mingling all over the nearby streets.

At a different Shul party, Hatzolah had to be there so many times it is not possible to count. One kid after the next was carried out, as children of all ages managed to get toasted on all types of hard liquor. Of course, the wonderful Baalei Batim of this Shul were writing checks while the 13 year old boys got hammered on as much liquor as they wanted.

In Flatbush as well, it was one insane party after the next.

At more than one party, the NYPD made arrests after brawls broke out. One group of kids smashed windows of homes. Another group egged dozens of homes, and fist-fights broke out on Ave J and East 22 Street – resulting in arrests. Of course the Gevirim wrote out checks the entire time as violence was rampant on the streets outside.

I can fill up this column with 50 confirmed stories from this year alone. No, not hearsay. Real factual stories.

Dozens of such disgusting Seudos Achashverosh took place in our communities – and not a word from the Rabbonim. It seems that EVERYTHING flies in the name of Tzedakah.

It’s disgusting. How many Neshamos were ruined this Purim. How many youngsters had their first hit of marijuana? How many young boys and girls exchanged phone numbers? How many married men and women were nichshal in terrible aveiros because of these parties?

The Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim should ban every one of these parties. Are these events Mutar and everything flies when it’s about money for the Mosdos. Does a 6 digit pledge to a big moisad grant someone the free pass to make a party of any magnitude without a peep from a single Rav or R”Y? Why didn’t all the Roshei Yeshiva get together and outright ban every single Yeshiva Bochur from attending any of these events?

I am appalled by this entire situation, which has no place on a choshuver Yom Tov of Purim, or at any time for that matter. Furthermore these actions are unfortunately seen by our youth which cause a big lack of respect for our Rabbonim when they see what is “allowed” to transpire in our midst.

Let me predict the response to this painful letter.

Of course the Rabbonim will bash me (and probably YWN for publishing this letter). “The nerve they have to question their Daas Torah…”

The readers will say “this letter writer is jealous that he doesn’t have money to make such a massive party, besides being a hater etc”… and of course “spreading Loshon Horah and Motzei Shem Ra.”

All the typical responses to the guilty feelings while trying to turn the tables.

WHY ARE WE REMAINING SILENT?!

We need action to be taken to ensure this madness ends!

Name withheld out of “fear my children will be kicked out of Yeshiva”.

simba

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:10 pm

Hey, How come no one invited me?

flowerpower

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:21 pm

Many normal gevirim hire guards and bouncers at the entrance and at the party to make sure all stays ok. I don’t know such parties where these wild things happen( thankfully).

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:22 pm

While the general point may be somewhat valid, certain “facts” are exaggerated or just simply made up.

turca

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:31 pm

I don’t know such parties.
Look, yeshivas need the money. Boys need the “fun” (imagine u r 14 yo and u have to learn 14h/day, to play ball is assur, to sit in a pizza shop is assur etc)
Purim is the day!
If such parties happen, I’m not surprised.

ra_mom

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:34 pm

Thank God I know nothing of such parties.

honeymoon

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:45 pm

I was turned off by the explicit description detailing the Purim parties which could easily identify the guilty parties. (excuse the pun!) It bordered dangerously on lashon hora especially because it's on YWN which is read by thousands. These gevirim give thousands of dollars in tzedakah on Purim, so while they might have done it in a less than ideal way they deserve credit for it and not public shaming.

And no, dear letter writer, I do not admire or respect people who find ways to put others down in the name of Torah.

amother

Navy

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 11:03 pm

Singers were charging 10-20k for Purim night and so many were booked for major parties. The money was flying - and not just for tzedakah.

I too heard from a hatzalah member he never had close to as many calls for kids so young - on Purim night - when it isn’t even a mitzvah.

I was so greatful my kids school threw an exciting Purim party by night with food and live music. I can just hope my boys will continue to be willing to go.

amother

Blush

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 1:01 am

Wow. This sounds really wild. By my OOT shul, all alcohol is kept behind one table and some older folks sit and dispense it, or watch over the table and allow adults to pour for themselves. This is to prevent kids from drinking and it works. Even if you bring your own special bottle of scotch, you put your name on it and they keep it behind the table for you.

It’s great to have a big fun party with music but it’s not ok when things get ugly - really upsetting the hatzolah was called for kids. Disgusting.

rainbow dash

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 3:44 am

Did anyone read this past weeks binah about adults saying that from when they were 9 they started drinking? How sad.

amother

Navy

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 8:01 am

rainbow dash wrote:

Did anyone read this past weeks binah about adults saying that from when they were 9 they started drinking? How sad.

There was a very powerful video on drinking out out - it was too hard for me to watch the whole thing.

One boy spoke about how he started drinking at 13 at bar mitzvahs. I asked my son who is 13 if boys drink. And he said that some boys will drink when going to a bar mitzvah kiddush. https://player.vimeo.com/video/5438925