Help me decide what to buy

amother

White

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:15 am

I am getting about 5000 dollars.
We have no money for everyday items. We struggle to put food on the table and for everyday items. For me buying a new mop or broom in a big struggle.
So now I am getting this money from somewhere and I would like to buy a big ticket item that I desperately need.

So which would you go for? A car, new driveway, braces for daughter, 7 new mattresses, 2 sectional couches, a stove,painting house (has not been done in 30 yrs.) a new sheitel, sleep away camp, food for Pesach so I wont have to ask people for money to help us.
There are other things that I need but these are the most important.
So which would you buy?

baby12x

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:25 am

Food. Braces if its medical necessity. The rest gets put away for next month. Until you have food, shelter (including heat and water), and medicine taken care of, and relatively secure, then you shouldn't spend on anything more.

groovy1224

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:43 am

I don't think getting a car makes sense, because even if you find one for 5K, it will probable be older and might leave you with unaffordable repairs.
New driveway, painting, sleepaway camp, and a sectional couch are all things that I would of course want, but wouldn't put at the top top of my list if I had to list absolute immediate necessities.

Can you maybe split it somehow? How much are braces? If you do that, would you maybe have some money leftover to buy some paint and do the paint job yourself? Or get an inexpensive sheitel?

Do you live in a community that has tomchei shabbos or something similar that will allow you to get food for pesach?

naturalmom5

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:46 am

Obviously Pesach food and expenses

Oseh Shabosecha chill a titzruch lbrius

The Torah enjoins us to avoid taking handouts whenever possible
In that zchus you should get more parnosa

33055

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:00 am

groovy1224 wrote:

If you get a car for around $2000 or $3000 and can get to work, then you can earn money for repairs.

There is so much need that $5000 doesn't begin to cover it. I wouldn't pay for painters. I would paint myself. Depending on how bad the daughter needs braces, I would consider that expense while looking for low cost options.

amother

Lavender

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:08 am

I would get mattresses if they are bad. I slept with sagging mattresses, wires poking through them, etc. as a kid. I think its essential.
Paint job if you can't do yourself, I would try to do. It'll give you harchavas hadas.
Braces-depends how bad it is.
Even more essential, though, is to reach out to community organizations to help you meet other needs.
Much hatzlacha!
Hope things get better soon.

amother

White

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:21 am

Op here

Thank you for suggestions

So braces is cosmetic only
Painting is a huge job and I cant do it myself and everyone who said they will help me would love to but just doesnt have the time so I know I cant rely on them.
I could get a decent car for 2000. I know people in the car business who could help me.
I bought a car for 300 dollars and while it runs great it cant pass inspection and I get tickets often.
I get Tomchei shabbos already but it doesnt cover everything for my family.
I would split the money if necessary.

baby12x

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:26 am

amother wrote:

Do you need a car?
Then yes, if you could get a car for $2000 then maybe do that.
I understand that you really want to paint and iyh one day you will but right now it's just not going to happen. Even if you could do it yourself, it still cost money and it doesn't sound like you have any to spare. You need the money for food. Iyh you will be in a better situation soon

ra_mom

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:26 am

It's so hard to choose! Also don't know the variables of what's essential for your family.
But a good night's sleep makes everybody happier and good mattresses can do that. Maybe a handyman can paint for you if you buy the supplies.
Hug

Whatever you decide, it should bring you much joy and hatzlacha!

baby12x

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:28 am

And OP, I totally get what you are going through. There was a time when we could barely afford food. Definitely not a new broom or dustpan!
I actually wrote a blog post about it. (https://adimesaved.com/living-with-a-broken-dustpan-lessons-learned-from-the-frugal-not-by-choice-trenches)

This is to say: I get it and I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Hopefully, this $5,000 will help ease the difficulty

SixOfWands

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:43 am

OP, I certainly understand your inclination to use this money to do something nice for yourself of your family for a change. But if you're struggling to put food on the table, I wouldn't use all of it on anything that is not strictly necessary.

If your mattresses are shot, I'd go for that. But go somewhere like BJs Warehouse where you can get decent, not top of the line, mattresses for well under half what you have. Then take a couple of hundred dollars and treat the family to an outing or to something small for each person. The rest if saved for emergencies.

imasinger

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 11:14 am

I'm sorry you're in crisis, and glad you got some help.

It sounds like the car is important to you and would also save the cost of the tickets you've been getting.

As for the rest, what would be happiest? Not to scrounge and beg elsewhere for Pesach food? Sleeping on decent mattresses? Looking at a home where the paint isn't peeling? Sending a kid to camp? Braces for DD?

Try making a list and giving each thing a value - 0, 1, or 2. Put an approximate cost by each.

Be sure to put some away as a nest egg if you can, too.

In the end, recognize that whatever you do won't be enough, but second guessing yourself too much will make it worse.

May Hashem send parnassa soon!

33055

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 12:06 pm

amother wrote:

The car definitely if it can't pass inspections because of safety reasons.

You can also start by painting one room at a time. That way it won't be so overwhelming. You also might be able to get some helpers because they won't be overwhelmed either.

amother

Yellow

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 1:46 pm

Braces - will this be enough for all your kids that need it.
Think of their future, Shiduchim.

2nd I would probably put the rest on RENT.

If rent is paid up for 2 months it frees up money for other things