Opinion needed | Imamother

amother

Slategray

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 10:49 am

We're moving an hour away from where we currently live, this coming Sunday! So things are crazy here, especially since I only had a week to pack up, and we have 2 kids!

Anyway, a couple days a go a friend asked if she could host us for dinner to say good bye, later in the week. It was soooo sweet, and super helpful since I wouldn't have to make dinner that night. I obviously accepted right away.

Last night she texted me asking if her and her husband could come by one night this week. (Not even mentioning canceling the previous invite)

My husband doesn't find this weird, he said they just want to say goodbye, and hosting maybe is too much.

I get it, but it's super frustrating for me, bc the place is in complete chaos, and kids go to sleep at 7... I guess I'm just confused, bc I would NEVER invite myself over to someone else's house period, let alone someone who is moving. And am I expected to host food wise now? Bc there coming at 6. I have no clue what is going on, and I don't want to ruin a friendship that was good.

I td her it was ok, but there will be boxes everywhere, and it's going to be a bit crazy here. She said, it's no prob, see u at 6. I was hoping it would be enough of a polite hint, but I guess not.

My question is, am I completely wrong for thinking this is a bit strange? Am I completely overreacting bc of all the stress I'm under, and everything else I'm dealing with at once...?

amother

Indigo

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 11:25 am

Maybe your friends are planning a surprise goodbye party? I've done that for friends who have moved away. Asking if they can come over at 6 would be your heads up to expect company so that they know you are home (and reasonably dressed). Even if that is not the case, I would not worry about hosting your friends or feeding them, which would not be a reasonable expectation for someone about to move.

ra_mom

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 11:35 am

I think it's a bit nuts. She can come by after dinner with a platter of snacks or a dessert to share with you and the kids and say good bye that way.
Since she's not offering that, and dh likes the idea of them coming over amidst all the packing and chaos, he should go buy a big platter of chocolates and you should call and change plans. Say you're not in cooking mode so have to change dinner plans - can they come over after dinner instead to say good bye?

ShishKabob

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 11:52 am

OP, it sounds like there's something more to it. Does she want to come by to say goodbye? how do you know that she intends to cancel the invite? is it the same night?
Please do not feel like you have to host her for a meal. I wouldn't.

mig100

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 12:00 pm

my first assumption when I read this- was that she wanted to surprise you with some sort of moving gift / something she wants to drop off and just wants to make sure youll be home. I didnt imagine she plans on you hosting you for dinner when she asks if she can "come by" (sounds like quick stop in)

I dont know your relationship with her and if I knew how she is would change these assumptions

I am super curious what she meant. I know you are crazy busy and overwhelmed- maybe when you unpack- you can fill us in on what happened

amother

Slategray

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 1:22 pm

Thanks everyone for your input.

I have no idea weather the dinner invite from her is still on or cancelled since she hasn't mentioned it at all, and I'm u comfortable asking.

It COULD be she's bringing food, but again, she hasn't said, and I don't want to ask in case she can't and I make her feel awkward.

I'm definitely not planning on feeding them, I'm assuming it's a stop over to say goodbye, and they will be offered some chocolate (left over from shaloch manos that needs to get eaten anyway 😉

Normally I am the first host, and seem to be the one who does most (but granted not all ) of the invites to meals, which I enjoy Smile

but this time I feel I have a right not to...