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Forum
-> Household Management
Ravenclaw
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 7:39 am
DVOM wrote: | Interesting that all you weirdos are identifying weirdness as a positive thing. I see your point, and I also treasure the things that make me unique, but my weirdness also causes me a great deal of pain. I often feel out of step. I'm casual where I should be formal and stiff when I should be loose, excited when everyone around me seems bored, and practically falling asleep when everyone else seems enthused. My values, my morals, my priorities... I think they seem quite strange to most of my community, and not in a good way. I believe that kindness will always build bridges, and I think that even those that think me weird don't actively dislike me because of it, but I'm still 'other.' I'm thankful for my husband, my sisters, my few close friends, my kids; I surround myself with people who know and understand me, who I know and understand. Still, sometimes I wish I fit in better. |
I was once complaining to someone about how awkward I felt at family simchas. What she said will stay with me forever:
“You have a choice, you can feel uncomfortable by conforming and not being yourself or you can feel uncomfortable by being different. It’s your choice to make.”
So now, I choose whichever feels right at the moment. When I am tired I tend to smile and nod along, while innerly making fun of everyone (sorry, normal people!) and when I am in the mood, I speak my truth and have fun engaging others.
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Ravenclaw
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 7:50 am
Ok, so I had a thought about being “normal” in Shabbos. I got to talking to a lady in the park, and we were comparing different places to live (OOT vs city, etc) and the culture that comes with it. So she was saying that if she lived in X she would feel pressure to conform to fashion and good thing she doesn’t because she doesn’t care for it. Now I have lived in X, and didn’t conform to fashion standards while living there and still don’t. Now I happen to be “normal” because people where I live now don’t tend to be so into fashion. But I realized for the first time that it’s not like some cities have more conformists than others—there are the same amount of conformists, just the things one confirms to are different in every place. I hope I am making sense.
So for example, if you go to a hipster village, everyone is praising themselves on not conforming, however they are conforming, only to hipster norms not pop culture norms. So if we assume that 80% of people in any given place go along with social norms, then in one place they may be fashionable and in another ultra frum and in a third place may be all into naturopathic remedies and all... and then we all assume that people living in X are into fashion and people living in Y are into organic food. But many of them are just conformists who would be different if they lived in a different place.
The true test of being weird is being different than those around you I guess.
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Tzutzie
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 9:28 am
Heya!
Can I still join?
On the outside we basically conform.
But in our house, and where it really matters, we do our own thing.
People always comment on our home and our choices.
Problem is, that our kids got dh and my gene's.
And they are the super weird. They have the weirdest ideas and they insist on them.
And we go with it.....
So here is to weirdness
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youngishbear
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 10:52 am
Ravenclaw wrote: | Ok, so I had a thought about being “normal” in Shabbos. I got to talking to a lady in the park, and we were comparing different places to live (OOT vs city, etc) and the culture that comes with it. So she was saying that if she lived in X she would feel pressure to conform to fashion and good thing she doesn’t because she doesn’t care for it. Now I have lived in X, and didn’t conform to fashion standards while living there and still don’t. Now I happen to be “normal” because people where I live now don’t tend to be so into fashion. But I realized for the first time that it’s not like some cities have more conformists than others—there are the same amount of conformists, just the things one confirms to are different in every place. I hope I am making sense.
So for example, if you go to a hipster village, everyone is praising themselves on not conforming, however they are conforming, only to hipster norms not pop culture norms. So if we assume that 80% of people in any given place go along with social norms, then in one place they may be fashionable and in another ultra frum and in a third place may be all into naturopathic remedies and all... and then we all assume that people living in X are into fashion and people living in Y are into organic food. But many of them are just conformists who would be different if they lived in a different place.
The true test of being weird is being different than those around you I guess. |
All hipsters look alike
Original article:
https://www.technologyreview.c.....same/
How it became a joke:
https://www.npr.org/2019/03/10.....mself
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amother
Maroon
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 11:10 am
Im on Genie.com and Find a grave.com
I have listed over 100 relatives .
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 11:32 am
Ravenclaw wrote: | Same. I did some pretty extensive research, but it fell to the wayside once I exhausted online resources.
Would love to continue someday, but when I do I will have to get more serious, translating Russian documents and traveling places... so for now... |
What part of the Russian Empire was your family from, if I may ask?? [jk...kinda]
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 11:35 am
amother wrote: | Im on Genie.com and Find a grave.com
I have listed over 100 relatives . |
Cool! And that's another "weird" thing. I love cemeteries lol
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Ravenclaw
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 12:31 pm
amother wrote: | What part of the Russian Empire was your family from, if I may ask?? [jk...kinda] |
Know Dracula? He’s my Gramps so mostly from that area
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amother
Violet
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 1:19 pm
Some weirdo philosophy..
To paraphrase the Kotzker Rebbe..
If you are weird because I am normal
And I am normal because you are weird
Then we both define ourselves
Based on another
But if you are weird because you are weird
And I am normal because I am normal
Then we are both essentially being true to ourselves
So now who’s weird and who’s normal?!
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InnerMe
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 6:21 pm
Had to chime into this thread (I feel stupid popping in here and hopping off but hey I hope you forgive me)
I identify with much of this thread
weird
weird
weird
what would we do without this holy-moly word?
got our weirdness in the weirdest ways
I weird
You weird
We all weird
My weird qualifications: (If you don't think it's weird it's because you're weird to;))
I have bird feeders in Brooklyn and I love watching them and photographing them, and learning all their sounds and personalities (if that totally gives me out, then yeeeeeshh I'm never gonna pop in again)
I basically buy only Clark shoes because they're comfy and I'm not gonna suffer so you have prettier feet to look at
I want to live on a farm (but it's not happening:( any day soon)
My #1 destination is Holland to see the tulip festival in May (will happen hopefull someday)
I love to babble online, but face to face you'll find me quiet and shy and insecure
I HATE clothing shopping and I wish there was a personal shopper that came to my door and dropped off stuff that look good on me and fit me perfectly in one try
There's lots more weirdness but for now this will do
(Oh and I'm also into genealogy, and I also love cemeteries mostly because they're a great place to see birds)
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 7:23 pm
I am a weirdo because I am always quietly learning a sefer, and people get blown away when they stay as guests or for a seuda because they say I dont look the type (I never quite figured out what that means).
I simply find Jewish classics brilliant and ingenious. For that reason, I cannot read seforim that did not stand the test of centuries.
Mesilos yesharim, Chovos Halvovos, Shaarei Tshuva, and more recent (18th and 19th century seforim) like Bnei Yisascher, and Tanya and Yalkut Eliezer on the Torah, and Tehillim Shaarei Chaim which is my current favorite.
I absolutely love Haftora and any commentary on haftorah. I think I am a gilgul from different times of Neviim because I almost know each week's haftorah by heart.
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MitzadSheini
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 7:33 pm
fuschia... if you would like to learn sefer Daniel with me via phone or WhatsApp and are available at about this time of day give or take 2 hours Sunday to Thursday then please PM me.
(how's that for weird?)
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MitzadSheini
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 7:59 pm
InnerMe wrote: | Had to chime into this thread (I feel stupid popping in here and hopping off but hey I hope you forgive me)
I identify with much of this thread
weird
weird
weird
what would we do without this holy-moly word?
got our weirdness in the weirdest ways
I weird
You weird
We all weird
I basically buy only Clark shoes because they're comfy and I'm not gonna suffer so you have prettier feet to look at
I love to babble online, but face to face you'll find me quiet and shy and insecure
I HATE clothing shopping and I wish there was a personal shopper that came to my door and dropped off stuff that look good on me |
loved this post.
(GRATEFUL for all of them everyone thanks for posting!!!!!!!)
I always say comfortable shoes make me look prettier (well actually I say less ugly) because pretty shoes make my face grimace in pain
face to face conversation is so difficult except with people who know me well and accept me the way I am. but I almost always prefer phone or text, much easier to get to the essence of a person
I hate clothes shopping as much as youngishbear hates housework (which I also hate)
Last edited by MitzadSheini on Sun, Apr 07 2019, 8:03 pm; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Slateblue
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 8:00 pm
Fuchsia,
I completely and unreservedly envy you
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