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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
Cerulean
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 12:27 pm
My dd6 is very prone to kvetchiness. I've tried telling her "I can't listen to you when you're using a kvetchy voice, tell me what you need nicely", asking her to tell me something good about the situation ("nothing!"), and modeling a positive attitude (I am not the most positive person in the world but I don't complain much, and not in that horrible whiny voice!)
Any tips that have worked for you?
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ra_mom
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 12:35 pm
Empathy. Really getting down to her level, feeling what she's feeling, and understanding she's only kvetching because something is hard for her.
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behappy2
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 1:47 pm
My son has a tendency of kvetching a lot and I used to do tons of empathy which clearly wasn't working so I decided to try teaching him to be positive. I explained to him that when we focus on the negative we feel bad inside and helped him find good in the situation. I still do lots of empathy (maybe too much) but didn't get anywhere until I decided to teach him to be positive!
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 2:25 pm
"Parenting Kids With Love and Logic". Great book, go get it. Get the one for teens too, while you're at it.
After you empathize, try to sit down and brainstorm together. Ask her for suggestions that would make both of you happy. Really listen to her, and encourage her to think of solutions. Problem solving skills can go a long way towards cutting back on negative thought patterns.
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pizza4
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 2:39 pm
My dd age 7 was extremely kvetchy! I'm surprised I am even writing "was!" Shes not perfect but muuuch better bh.
Shes been going to the social worker at school and this is one of things we worked on. Tons of positive attention, kept on reminding her how special she is in all kinds of ways, so that she'd feel good about herself.
Also I (try to) sit with her every night and ask her to tell me one good thing from that day. Also I asked her to tell me one bad thing. For a long time she'd answer nothing good! I almost gave up. But eventually she started responding. Also I gave her examples with my own day. So that helped tons to find the good.
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amother
Ecru
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 4:25 pm
amother wrote: | My dd6 is very prone to kvetchiness. I've tried telling her "I can't listen to you when you're using a kvetchy voice, tell me what you need nicely", asking her to tell me something good about the situation ("nothing!"), and modeling a positive attitude (I am not the most positive person in the world but I don't complain much, and not in that horrible whiny voice!)
Any tips that have worked for you? |
No.
(Sorry for this non-useful post but I just felt the need to chime in with some solidarity).
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Beingreal
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Sun, Apr 07 2019, 5:15 pm
I always say *my kvetchy ears are off, I only hear big boy/girl voices. And they stop.
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