How would you react?

causemommysaid

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 9:27 am

crust wrote:

I instinctively knew that your children are Type 1 or 9 based on what you wrote. They are inherently obedient without much reprogramming on the parents part. Tantrums? Yes. But impulse and defiance are simply not part of their nature.

It's very different with a Type 6 7 or 8 child.

Even an obedient yet dramatic and inquisitive Type 4 can make you second guess your parenting strategy.

Chances are you'll never have these types of children.

Good luck!

Lol that's what happened when you Google the enegram personality right before shabbos. I read quickly and put my kids in boxes.

It could be. I have to read up on 6 7 8 and 4.

Totally off topic but I was thinking about this thread over shabbos and I remembered when I set up my user name. I recall my kids yelling their heads off about something and I said to my husband no ever listens to me, I'm so tired. Then a few hours later I made my user name. I was like in my head "see that will show the world. Mommy said and that's that"

Jokes on me most of the time lol.

crust

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 9:45 am

While we're at it, it's easier for Type 1 moms to say causemommysaidso. Lol

I'm not hung up on personality Types and some children are impossible to box.

My point is that in general children are not alike and it can therefore require very different parenting strategies Al pee darko.

urban gypsy

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 9:55 am

amother wrote:

Yes, its lying and deceitful. But how is this shaming or promoting disordered eating? (If anything, he just shamed his mother by openly defying her in front of the siblings.) And to me, disrespect and Chutzpah ranks higher than lying.

You're teaching the kid to hide and binge on treats in secret.
I don't see how defying a mother is the same as shaming a mother. At all.
Is your self esteem really so fragile that you feel shame when your 10 year old does not follow your commands?
I was taught that lying is worse than chutzpah. I seem to recall a bunch of stories of gedolim (sorry I can't remember names ATM) who would hit their kids for lying only, not for disrespect.
And I still am not convinced that what happened in this scenario is blatant disrespect, instead of just impulsivity or misguided problem solving.
And I still think the whole scenario could have been prevented if the kid didn't have access to his own money.