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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Havdalah for a widow



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solo




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 8:18 pm
I understand that it is preferable for havdalah to be recited by a male. My question is, can a male recite havdalah several times- for women in different locations?
This is what I found online:
https://www.chabad.org/library.....n.htm
But I found it confusing.
Can my husband make havdalah for his mom and then drive home and make havdalah for me?
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 8:25 pm
There's nothing wrong at all with a woman making havdallah for herself.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 8:27 pm
amother wrote:
There's nothing wrong at all with a woman making havdallah for herself.


OP said 'preferable' said by a man, not wrong for woman to do.

OP - your husband should ask his Rav.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 8:37 pm
amother wrote:
OP said 'preferable' said by a man, not wrong for woman to do.

OP - your husband should ask his Rav.


But it's not true. It's an oft-repeated but unfounded claim.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 8:42 pm
amother wrote:
But it's not true. It's an oft-repeated but unfounded claim.


https://oukosher.org/halacha-y.....alah/

https://www.yutorah.org/lectur.....Women
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 9:28 pm
It's chilukei dayos.
But this is a common opinion.

https://www.chabad.org/library.....n.htm
"However, a man who has already fulfilled the obligation of havdalah cannot make the havdalah for the sake of a woman who has not yet heard the havdalah. Instead, the woman should recite the havdalah herself.
[This is unlike kiddush, which may be repeated by a man for the benefit of a woman who has not yet heard the kiddush.]"
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amother
Linen


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:35 pm
Every week my father waits for Shabbos to end in the city where his widowed mother lives and then calls her so she can hear havdala over the phone. Probably not the most ideal way to hear havdala, but it's what works for her.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:41 pm
havdalah for his widowed mother for your MIL

big difference

AYLOR
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amother
Beige


 

Post Sat, Oct 13 2018, 10:46 pm
After getting divorced I asked a Shailah and was told I could make my own Havdalah.
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WitchKitty




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 14 2018, 2:55 am
I asked this question once, I'll try to write what I remember.
In one word, the answer is no. A male may not recite havdalla a second time for a woman only.
There is a safeik if a woman is obligated in havdalla, since it is a time- related obligation, which women technically are not supposed to observe.
A man is mechuyav in havdala. (I haven't slept in forever and I'm sorry but the hebrew words slip out. Can anyone please translate them and explain my explanation?)
If a man already made havdalla he fulfilled his obligation. Making havdala again with no reason is a bracha l'vatala.
Since the womens obligation of havdala is a safeik, there is a safeik that the males havdala will be a bracha l'vatala.

That is the reason that it is preferable for a man to make havdala- because we are sure of his chiyuv, and we are yotzei with his definite obligation.
As a side note, I am divorced, and I make havdala for myself when it is too complicated to find a male. It is perfectly acceptable..
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Bubbles427




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 2:19 am
I'm a widow and was told by someone that it's preferable if done by a male. BH my kids play with neighbor kids and every shabbos we for שלש סעודה and הבדלה.
A woman I know has a neighbor come to her.
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yOungM0mmy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 1:02 pm
I have made havdala several times. I was once in my uncle's house and he had already made havdala when I came in, and my husband was out of town. He is a dayan and double checked, but came to the conclusion that it is better for me to make havdala than for him to make again. I had no problem with it, when I was single or DH is away I just make it, never even try to look for a man.
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Bubbles427




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 3:08 pm
yOungM0mmy wrote:
I have made havdala several times. I was once in my uncle's house and he had already made havdala when I came in, and my husband was out of town. He is a dayan and double checked, but came to the conclusion that it is better for me to make havdala than for him to make again. I had no problem with it, when I was single or DH is away I just make it, never even try to look for a man.


I think for married women it's different if their husband are away.
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