Month old won't sleep during the day!

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 6:39 pm

I am at my wit's end! My one month old baby does not sleep during the day!
I've tried everything to try to get her to sleep. Tried keeping to a routine of feeding every 3 hours, change diaper, put to sleep a bit after. I've rocked, patted her back, bounced, used a pacifier, even tried nursing to sleep (sometimes helps for a bit). I swaddle her and use a white noise machine. NOTHING HELPS! I know she's tired, she's constantly yawning, and sometimes she'll be on the verge of falling asleep (eyes rolling back.) or she actually will fall asleep, but will wake up a minute later. She's not necessarily crying the whole time, but as it gets later and later in the day she'll just get fussier and fussier until she'll start crying and screaming at around 5 and will eventually just cry herself to sleep.
I don't know what to do with her anymore, my entire day is consumed with trying to get her to sleep and it is so exhausting. I cannot continue like this!
Please help with tips and/or encouragement that this will end! I'm so nervous about what will happen once I return to work and she goes to a babysitter

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 6:55 pm

Rachel Shira wrote:

So how long is she awake for in between naps?

Thats IF she naps...today for example, she woke up at 7, I fed her and after a lot of stuffing the pacifier back in her mouth I got her to go back to sleep for about an hour. Then she didn't sleep until 5 this afternoon. There were times when I would finally get her to drift off, but then she'd wake up again a few minutes later.
Other days she might fall asleep for an hour or two in the middle of the day and that's it. That's a good day

tichellady

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:11 pm

Have you tried letting her sleep on you or on the go in a stroller or moving car? She’s still very little! Don’t be hard on yourself! The way babies sleep at this age is mostly nature not nurture. Have you tried babywearing her for naps?

Hang in there. It will get better

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:20 pm

@amethyst Once she falls asleep in the evening she'll usually sleep for about three hours before waking up hungry. When I try to nurse her she'll fall asleep after a few minutes, then wake up and be fussy until I calm her down to sleep

@tichellady thanks for the encouragement! I've tried literally everything. If she falls asleep on me she'll often wake up very soon after (sometimes because she's moving around a lot). When I'm so desperate I can't take it anymore I take her for a walk or in the car. Usually she'll stay up, sometimes she'll fall asleep in the stroller but wake up very soon after. Usually it's hard to take her by myself in the car because after a bit she'll start crying because her pacifier fell out.

I'm nervous that because I'm not encouraging good sleep habits now she'll never sleep on her own (I've been trying the baby whisperer)

Anyone experience a baby like this? Did your baby sleep eventually??

tichellady

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:30 pm

amother wrote:

Ooo
Throw away the baby whisperer. I hate that book. At this age, you do whatever it takes to get baby to sleep, there are no bad habits. Get the book “ the happy sleeper”. My daughter was not a good sleeper and she got much better around 6 months. It takes time! I promise it’s not just your baby and it will get better.

pesek zman

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:31 pm

She sounds like she is overtired! Babies that age can’t have more than 1.5 hours of wake time. She needs to be ‘reset’ When my baby needed a reset I wore her in a carrier: the tightness, heartbeat sound and closeness would put her to sleep enough so that the next nap/sleep she wouldn’t be overtired

amother

Cyan

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:33 pm

Many of my babies refuse to nap during the day. They will catnap on my lap while I am nursing, but I can't put them down, and they won't nap for very long on me either.

Some of them learned to nap when they were older, but not all did. We have all survived, and they all sleep at night Smile

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:33 pm

tichellady wrote:

Seriously at this point I do whatever it takes, but that still doesn't help unfortunately. I'm glad to hear it's not just my baby, I was scared it would affect her development! (can't you tell I'm a first time mom Smile

Thing is I can't do this for another 4/5 months! For my own sanity, but I also feel bad for her. A babysitter won't have the patience to try to get her to sleep

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:35 pm

pesek zman wrote:

I know she's overtired, that's the problem! I try so hard to get her to sleep an hour to an hour and a half after she wakes up. It never happens. Even after she's slept at night.

aricelli

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:37 pm

I remember those days- its so so tough! My babies wanted to be held all day. When I heard the babies first few weeks of life referred to as “the tenth month of gestation” I loved that- it helped me “understand” them better. Good luck- it gets better
Edited: I think its called “fourth trimester”’and refers to first few months of babies life! Mine sure did think theyre still in the womb!

Last edited by aricelli on Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:47 pm

amother wrote:

my child did this with severe anemia and lead poisoning starting at2 months.

If you live in an old apartment with old Windows, check it out

tichellady

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 7:56 pm

When do you back to work? Does baby get outside during the day? Babies often sleep better with babysitters. Have you tried a swing? Sorry this post is so all over the place, just trying to get more info so I can help.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 8:08 pm

Don't everyone jump on me but...

Maybe try having her sleep on her stomach during the day ? Don't swaddle her in that position. She won't move around as much and wake herself up. Many babies sleep deeper and more calmly on their stomach. You can keep an eye on her.

Before everyone panics, it should be fine if you are watching her during the day. You can still put her to sleep on her back at night. This way she can catch up on some sleep. If she's not overtired she'll sleep better at night.

Edited to fix mistake

amother

Indigo

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 8:18 pm

amother wrote:

I know she's overtired, that's the problem! I try so hard to get her to sleep an hour to an hour and a half after she wakes up. It never happens. Even after she's slept at night.

Try starting the wind down to nap after 45 min. That's from when they wake up, not from when they finish nursing.

Fwiw my baby got better at approx 6 weeks. I also stressed about sending to the babysitter but bH it went smoothly

Hatzlacha

tichellady

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 8:40 pm

amother wrote:

Thing is I can't do this for another 4/5 months! For my own sanity, but I also feel bad for her. A babysitter won't have the patience to try to get her to sleep

It will probably get better before 4 months. It got gradually better for us but around 6 months is when our baby started taking real naps that are over an hour long. Feel free to pm me if you want to vent or talk more about this

nnmom

Mon, Apr 08 2019, 9:27 pm

This experience is normal for my babies. Just so you know you are not alone. When my toddler was a newborn he had to be held day and night. At 11 weeks it switched and we were able to put him down.
What worked for us:
My husband and I took turns at night, I took him out every day (multiple times for errands, carpool) and he would cat nap during the trips. I let him sleep on my nursing pillow when I finished nursing while I held him and made sure I could occupy myself for a half/hour while he napped. The Rockn’ Play was also v helpful.
Best advice is modify your expectations for yourself and for what the baby “should” be sleeping.
The fourth trimester is a real thing. It does get better.