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A favor and a gift



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busymother




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 03 2019, 5:33 pm
I’m in therapy with some of my siblings trying to get closure to an abusive childhood. Our “homework” this time is to write, for each sibling, a favor we would want from them and a gift we would like to give them. I’m curious what others would answer. If you were able to ask your siblings for a favor and give them a gift, what would you choose?
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 03 2019, 6:06 pm
One brother, I'd ask him to help me with finance stuff.. And I recently got him a math equation clock... But I also saw a photo lens mug that I thought he might like.

The other brother... Might ask him for help moving/packing/organization. For a gift.. maybe something helpful for travel, he's flying every month or so for work


My sister... That's the hardest, bc we've always had an up and down relationship. I might ask her to teach me something about makeup/beauty/cooking things she loves and takes pride in. And for a gift, I'd either buy her something for that love or a gift card/shopping spree.
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busymother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 10:24 pm
I need some more ideas please. The gift can be something physical (e.g. “The red bike you always wanted but never got.”) or emotional (e.g., “Peace of mind”) or an idea (e.g., “The answer to the math problems that Mrs. Smith used to give you that you could never figure out.)
What would you give your siblings?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 10:28 pm
Isn’t this exercise supposed to be about YOU and what YOU might want to get from and give to your siblings? Shouldn’t it reflect YOUR relationships with them?. You’re not in middle school any more; don’t copy someone else’s homework. Trawling the Internet for ideas may fool your therapist, but you’re really only fooling yourself.
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busymother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 10:38 pm
🙈
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busymother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 10:39 pm
Gosh, my brain has been dead for a while now... I have no clue what to write. And I can’t even ask my siblings for help!!
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 10:49 pm
Think about your siblings.

Think about what your relationship was/is like.

Think about qualities you've always admired in them.

Can any of those be a favor?

Think about their hobbies. Likes. What they do for enjoyment.

Can those make a gift?

We don't know your siblings. I gave you examples based on my siblings.

I was thinking about how the one brother is extremely good with math and being an adult in general so I said a fun math clock and help with some financial stuff.

The other brother is extremely organized and travels. So organizational help and something to make travel less painful.

My sister is very similar to me ..which makes it the hardest bc our personalities are similar but our interests aren't. So I would support her passionate interests with both the favor and gift.

Be honest with yourself

If it would help, try writing a yearbook blurb/dating resume for them to help you sort through ideas
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busymother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 08 2019, 11:29 pm
That’s very helpful. Thanks!
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