Working and pregnancy

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 10:10 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Extremely difficult? I know someone who bled every time she moved. She ended up on bed rest.

Everyone's body is different. Not everyone can just push thru it.

I remember reading a post by a frum marathon runner who talked about how it was difficult to run at 7 months pregnant, but it was "mind over matter".

This is not true. if I tried to run at 7 months pregnant around the block, I'd give birth. Every body is different.

Oh please!

Are we talking about a pregnancy at risk Cv or are we talking about difficult pregnancy symptoms.

There’s a huge difference you know.

ectomorph

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 10:33 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Oh please!

Are we talking about a pregnancy at risk Cv or are we talking about difficult pregnancy symptoms.

There’s a huge difference you know.

Its a spectrum not a huge difference. And that one woman can run a marathon while pregnant is a good example. Most women would end up in the hospital trying to do that. It's not a matter of "trying harder".

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 11:00 pm

ectomorph wrote:

It’s a huge difference and can’t be compared.

chocolatecake

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 11:11 pm

I worked full time all my pregnancies including right until I gave birth. My last pregnancy I was at work till 4pm and gave birth 830 that night! I go right back to work at 6 weeks too. I don’t really have a choice...gotta pay the bills...it’s not easy but you do what you have to do. Nothing wrong with Mac and cheese or frozen pizza for dinner! My first kid was definitley the hardest tho so hang in there and iyh next time will be easier!

amother

Ivory

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 6:41 am

chocolatecake wrote:

Exactly!! Some dont have choices to stop working.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 6:50 am

Well now I really feel like a wimp. I called my boss and said that I was starting my maternity leave early. I'd love for it to be mind over matter but I can't walk more than a few steps at a time. I've spent the last two days on the couch or lying down.
It's only really two weeks cuz I was off for pesach and planned my maternity leave for after.

amother

Mint

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:18 am

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

please dont feel inadequate

im in my second trimester at a low pressure desk job. there was no way I could stand in front of a room and teach today. luckily I can work at home. if I didnt have that option- id be taking off... and this is supposed to be the easy trimester LOL

ectomorph

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:32 am

For some reason, people can accept that there are some women that physical work actually endangers their pregnancy. But can't accept that some women cannot physically work while pregnant.

Its not mind over matter. We all do our best and should stop judging other women as lazy.

Hyperemesis. Pre eclampsia. Intense back or muscle pain. Preterm labor. Just feeling awful all the time. We all have different capabilities.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:34 am

ectomorph wrote:

Everyone agrees that if work is putting the baby or mother in grave physical danger she shouldn’t work. But many of the rest of us suffer through without lasting harm. You gotta do what you gotta do. You’re perhaps lucky that you don’t understand that.

ectomorph

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:37 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

I completely understand that. I'm making the point that you don't seem to understand that not everything can be suffered through.

mig100

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:38 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

please can we not compare- a very difficult pregnancy and a at risk pregnancy ar both pretty unpleasant experiences.

hopefully the end result are both the same a beautiful bundle of joy that helps forget the difficulties.

amother

Seashell

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:46 am

ectomorph wrote:

Women are their own worst enemies. They think because they experience something therefore everyone has the same experience.

It's a spectrum like you said. My first two I was fine working through it. My most recent pregnancy I bled, got migraines that made me faint, and did not stop throwing up. Totally different experience.

So tired of all the judgy posts here.

Like I said. I am very lucky to have a desk job.

amother

Mint

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 10:59 am

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

I am also tired of all the judginess - and COMPARISON. I think there hardest part is not just dragging yourself through work -its also the "everyone else seems to be managing fine"

ectomorph

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 11:02 am

amother [ Mint ] wrote:

I am also tired of all the judginess - and COMPARISON. I think there hardest part is not just dragging yourself through work -its also the "everyone else seems to be managing fine"

And it's awful to tell someone who is struggling "the rest of us manage". You're not in her body. You don't know what she's going thru.

momsrus

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 11:05 am

ectomorph wrote:

I completely understand that. I'm making the point that you don't seem to understand that not everything can be suffered through.

Of course not everything can be suffered through. I completely understand that a women with hg can’t just tough it up. But for many women it’s the “I can’t” attitude.

As with many things in this generation.

ectomorph

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 11:26 am

momsrus wrote:

It's judgement from people like you that makes other women's lives harder.

For yourself, you can tell yourself to tough it up.

But let's be kind to pregnant women.

Every generation has its struggles. Your generation probably didn't have to strap kids in car seats, and let kids run outside all day or watch tv.

momsrus

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 11:30 am

ectomorph wrote:

That’s pretty funny. I’m in my low 30s.

renslet

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 11:42 am

momsrus wrote:

I can't ? Or maybe I shouldn't? There is no Mitzvah in being a martyr. I grew up with a mother who put mind over matter and was always exhausted, always stressed and I(and the rest of the family) didn't appreciate it( to say the least).
Now she tells us, don't just tough it out, there are times in your life when you need to slow down.
I'm still making pesach, started this week cuz I'm working slow even with help, have other people at home and Shabbos still comes every week.
I worked Monday and my feet were so swollen at the end of the day and I kept on having contractions, I rested Tuesday and the swelling went down and the contractions stopped.
Everyone does what they need to do, doesn't really mean that we are a lazy, I can't generation if we put our pregnancy first.
(BTW it's a frum school, so really only taking off 2 days cuz of pesach. We get around 4 months maternity leave, I'll just go back a week early)

ectomorph

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 11:43 am

momsrus wrote:

That’s pretty funny. I’m in my low 30s.

So you think that many pregnant women are lazy and using it as an excuse not to work?

Slaves worked in the fields until they delivered the baby. Then they went right back to working. They have descendants, so clearly everything was fine.

Or maybe a lot more babies were born preterm and died. A lot more mothers hemorrhaged.

The only person who knows how a particular pregnancy feels is the woman in it. Some people can push thru the pain and run marathons while pregnant. Some can work. And there will be some who can't.

amother

Magenta

Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:51 pm

[quote="momsrus"]Of course not everything can be suffered through. I completely understand that a women with hg can’t just tough it up. But for many women it’s the “I can’t” attitude.

As with many things in this generation.[/quote
My mother holds like you. She constantly reminds me how she managed much better than me and with less help. But she also raised kids suffering from complex trauma and emotional deprivation...