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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
Is your Seder REALLY beautiful?
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 1:34 pm
I’m looking forward to Seder! It’ll be my husband and me, and our 3-year old for as long as he can stay up (so basically just my husband and me). I love the singing and I insist on it! We talk about Yetziyas Mitzrayim, more informally than through official divrei Torah. I get tired early most nights, so we’ll see how long I make it!

The first year we had our own Seder I was pregnant with my first, and I pulled over an actual recliner to the table (and promptly fell asleep) and my husband finished the Seder himself.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 1:59 pm
For me, the seder, and any shabbos or yt meal, is beautiful when there's shalom.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 6:32 pm
Thanks ladies.
And I'm blessed to have so much good in my life. Being on imamother teaches me daily how lucky I am as I read about others challenges.
But not having the Seder I envision hurts. I want to give my children beautiful memories of yiddishkeit. I want them to see how fortunate we are to be frum. The Seder is such an opportunity. Our children need to see the beauty more than ever. There are so many struggles and negativity in regard to a frum lifestyle.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 8:04 pm
There's a 16 minute piece on Torah Anytime by a Dr. Yaakov Siegel entitled something like What to do when your seder falls apart. I haven't heard it yet.
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 9:55 pm
I concentrate on the fact that the matza is truly holy (not to mention expensive) bread. Every step along the way was performed mindfully l'shem mitzva. I am more serious than my family about the whole seder so it's a struggle not to get disappointed when everybody just giggles (more girls than boys here). Now that it's grandchildren and my parents, I am grateful that they are here. DH gears things to the grandkids so it's simple retelling of the Yetzias Mitzrayim. No high expectations here. When the kids were little we gave out redeemable tickets for every question they came up with. Now we have plastic frogs, animal masks, marshmallows etc. We also try to go quickly.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 10:25 pm
Any tips, ideas, kids range 3 yr to 17. How can I make it memorable? Dh is not really into "shtick" what can motivate teens? I'd like to prepare or shop for things, any suggestions welcome.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 11:24 pm
My Seder is really nice but the table never looks like the pictures. If I’d set the table with dishes and cutlery it would be a wreck by the time we got to shulchan arch and then we set quickly and eat quickly to make chatzos.

Even though it isn’t like the pictures it’s a wonderful atmosphere and we do sing long into the night after the Afikomen.

One thing I love is using meaningful dishes at the table - even if not pretty. Matzah platter from Oma, salt water dish given to Bubby as payment once, marror plate from Oma ny. The hideous pitcher. I feel each piece tells a story and connects us to the past.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 11:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Any tips, ideas, kids range 3 yr to 17. How can I make it memorable? Dh is not really into "shtick" what can motivate teens? I'd like to prepare or shop for things, any suggestions welcome.


With teens, I'd suggest thought provoking/controversial questions and convos based on the Haggadah over "shtick". For ex., by tzai u'lemad, you can talk about the benefits and disadvantages of going out of town for mesivta, if kids belong at home,if it's better to grow up sheltered or more exposed to secular culture, etc. Teens love heated discussions and the chance to voice their opinions!
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 17 2019, 11:48 pm
Yes. We will miss our DS#1, wonderful DDIL, and our grand-ducklings, who have flown away to Canada this Pesach. But DS#2 will enjoy leading our seder (DH cedes the honors), and we invited 2 young men who, sadly, would not be at a seder otherwise — hope they show up to be part of All who are hungry let them come and eat!

I do set a beautiful table, we have lots of frog shtik, good eats, and I'm really looking forward to using my new Graphic Novel Passover Haggaddah!
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Mon, Apr 22 2019, 3:27 am
My table was beautiful.

I had the Yumtiv flowers that I always knew I deserved.

Nobody yelled at me.

Every seder has BH been beautiful since my divorce.

Take your brachos where you can find them.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 22 2019, 10:42 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
My table was beautiful.

I had the Yumtiv flowers that I always knew I deserved.

Nobody yelled at me.

Every seder has BH been beautiful since my divorce.

Take your brachos where you can find them.


I'm not hugging you. It sounds like you're in a good place, definitely much better. I assume you facilitated your seder for kids and family. Well done!
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Mon, Apr 22 2019, 11:17 am
I've been home for the Seder only two years and both times were beautiful BH! Once I had a newborn, so DH and I stayed home with baby while all the kids went to Grandma's. That was amazing in its intimacy and post-partum contentment. One other year we were home with all the kids because no one was able to have us and it was really special, being in our own home, on our own schedule, catering the seder to the kids rather than to a house-full of adults while the kids roll around under the table (literally, that happened at my parents!).
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Mon, Apr 22 2019, 11:43 am
My DD12 who is severely dyslexic B'H read from her Hagadah for the first time - she did not just sing Ma Nishtana , she actualy read almost entire Hagadah!!! That was really beautiful! I went to my bedroom for few minutes and cried.
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