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Forum -> Judaism

Sandek at a bris

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Yael

Fri, Jul 01 2005, 9:02 am

to whom did you give the honor of sandek at your first, second, third, etc. son's bris?
is there any tradition regarding this?

Rochel Leah

Fri, Jul 01 2005, 9:08 am

For Sz bris we gave the honour to my hubby's maternal grandfaher. traditionally I heard that the father of the boy should be zandik for the first boy.

I heard it should be someone who is a good role model, so child should follow in their footsteps.

proudmom

Fri, Jul 01 2005, 9:14 am

My father was the sandek for my son because he was never sandek for anyone.

supermom

Sat, Jul 02 2005, 2:52 pm

I guess it depends who you look up to and who you want your child to have the midos of. the sandek is the most important part of the whole bris because whom ever it is the child takes after.

micki

Sat, Jul 02 2005, 7:15 pm

we honored my father for our first son, - he had never been sandek before, and our second with my FIL.
it was very emotional cause my first son is named after my grandfather, and my father got to hold my son then.

customerily it is given to the oldest most respected man you know. also whether or not someone had been sandek before is also taken into account. and how many times.

Motek

Sun, Jul 03 2005, 6:46 am

want to hear something weird?

as R' Falk writes in his tznius book p. 519:

"Incredibly, it became a wide-spread custom in the times of the Rishonim (around 1100-1400) for women to be the sandek at a bris mila, although this meant men standing around around her during the bris and the woman being right at the center of the activity. Women would even perform this function when the bris was in shul, although this involved sitting inside the men's shul and being surrounded throughout the bris by men.

"One of the greatest Rishonim of the time, Maharam MiRuttenburg, fought tooth and nail to stop this custom ... As a result of his guidance, not only were women no longer sandek, but the whole manner by which a baby is brought to his bris was arranged in the way we know it today, I.e. a couple (husband and wife) do the job of kvater'shaft between themselves, with the wife fetching the baby from the mother and the husband bringing it into the place of the bris."

Pearl

Mon, Jul 04 2005, 4:00 am

that's very interesting, motek! never heard of it...

by us, my husband was sandak for our boy

BrachaVHatzlocha

Mon, Jul 04 2005, 12:46 pm

my grandfather was sandak

lucky

Tue, Jul 05 2005, 1:57 am

My dad was very scared of being sandek,since he can't take the sight of blood.But at my third sons bris we did convince him to be sandek.(he survived!)

I can't believe woman being able to be sandek. Even when I was kvater once, I stayed away as far as possible from the action.

Tovah

Tue, Jul 05 2005, 12:17 pm

my father in law was first, and by my next son it will be my father, I think that is a lub custom, I think I even remember reading it in the minhag book abt babies, not sure though.

supermom

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 6:11 am

never heard of that minhag that the father in law is the sandek first. and then your own father. what is the reason behind this?

613

Wed, Jul 06 2005, 10:43 am

my paternal grandfather was sandek at my son's bris. it was his first great-grandson and he was 95 years old. I was also happy that he could watch what was going on because he was a mohel!
we sort of had an issue with this, because both my dh and I felt my grandfather should be sandek, but there's a rule in my dh's yeshiva that if you make a bris in the yeshiva, then the Rosh Yeshiva is sandek. so we just didn't make the bris in yeshiva.
my father was sandek at my nephew's bris- and you should see pictures- his face looks green!! he's not one of those "blood and gore" types.

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