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Forum -> Vacation and Traveling

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Beingreal

Wed, May 01 2019, 3:27 pm

My dh and I are going to look at a community to see of its a place we want to move to. My oldest son we are not taking because he has school and we are not taking my two year old. We are going weds through sunday for interviews and looking at housing. My 5 year old who is my middle one is very sensitive and goes to kindergarten a half day. He doesnt really want to go to friends after school until my mother picks up. Should we take him along? I sort of do but dont because I really want to spend time alone with dh which is rare.

BatyaEsther

Wed, May 01 2019, 3:43 pm

I would not take him. In addition to wanting to spend time with DH, he will detract from your ability to interview, check out the community, and look at homes.
I hear your hesitation to send him to a friend. Can the friend's mom take them somewhere, so he feels like it is a special outing or do something special rather than him feeling like he is being dumped for a few hours? Can your mom get him earlier?
Can he just miss school on Wednesday and go straight to your mom to ease the transition? Where is your 2 yo and how is s/he being handed off to your mom?
Enjoy your time away and good luck with the new community.

Beingreal

Wed, May 01 2019, 3:46 pm

My mom works in the school here so she cant watch him all day. Going to drop off my 2 y old at a babysitter.

SuperWify

Wed, May 01 2019, 4:46 pm

I would definitely not take him. How are you going to go to interviews with a five year old?

I understand your reluctance - but leave the guilt behind and enjoy your day. It’s afternoon and you child will survive.

L25

Wed, May 01 2019, 4:51 pm

superwifey- its not one day- I believe op said they are going wednesday through Sunday.

Beingreal

Wed, May 01 2019, 5:06 pm

Its not one day and of all the kids I am worried about him.

L25

Wed, May 01 2019, 9:22 pm

is there any other option-maybe pay someone to watch him at home or at your mother's house if he would feel more comfortable with that?

amother

Hotpink

Wed, May 01 2019, 9:29 pm

Do your have any plans of how he will be entertained if you do decide to take him along? Kids need kids to play especially if he’s used to being around siblings.

amother

Gold

Wed, May 01 2019, 9:36 pm

Do u have anywhere else that he is super comfortable by that can have him? I hear ur hesitation about leaving him but I would want the time alone with DH, especially when making important decisions.

Beingreal

Wed, May 01 2019, 10:03 pm

The only comfortable place is with my parents but they both work. Don't know why I have this nervous separation anxiety in leaving them. Is this normal? I just don't want the to be mad or traumatized by this.

The community we are going to can't put us up until Friday so we are going camping for the first two nights.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, May 01 2019, 10:36 pm

I think your gut instinct is telling you what you know is best for your child. It also isn't fair to leave him with your parents for a few consecutive days when you will not be available if he ends up having issues or being very upset.

amother

cornflower

Wed, May 01 2019, 10:38 pm

Can you shorten your trip to leave to visit the community on Friday?

thanks

Wed, May 01 2019, 10:55 pm

He will be fine.
Is he the kid that really knows how to get your attention? Seems like it. Just kiss him good-bye, and he'll be fine.

Beingreal

Wed, May 01 2019, 11:09 pm

He is the type of kid who cries if I get a tiny bit upset. He is so sensitive.

thanks

Wed, May 01 2019, 11:39 pm

Beingreal wrote:

He is the type of kid who cries if I get a tiny bit upset. He is so sensitive.

That must be really hard for you. However, the solution may not be to give in to him. We've all given in to our kids sometimes, even though we know that it just encourages this behavior to continue.
If you decide to leave him, just let him know, and stick with your decision. All the crying won't change your mind. At the same time, make sure to validate his feelings. Let him know that you understand that he will miss you, and you understand that it may be hard for him to have to wait for his grandparents. Reassure him that arrangements are made so he is taken care of.

Good luck on your interviews, and good luck dealing with this child and all your children.

amother

Wine

Thu, May 02 2019, 1:14 pm

I also have this ‘separation anxiety’ when I leave my kids. I think it comes from knowing that really our kids need us and anything else is less than ideal.
My approach is to figure things out for the kids as best as possible and then tell myself they’ll be ok. I see your difficulty in finding good arrangements for this child...hope you’re able to figure something out easily, good luck!

amother

Puce

Thu, May 02 2019, 11:01 pm

OP, I will take a different side - you mentioned that he is your middle child, and sensitive - you worry about him more. Middle children sometimes have it harder. This may be the perfect opportunity for you and your husband to spend time with him alone. Unless he would make your trip a lot more difficult, this trip may do a lot to improve your attachment which will ultimately benefit him.

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