Hitting in school | Imamother

amother

Tue, May 07 2019, 2:04 pm

My five year old had some difficulty at the beginning of the year. We had just moved and started at a new school and he was physically fighting a lot with some of the other kids. The teacher and I were on top of it, the school psychologist also got involved, and eventually things settled down and adjusted and things were going mostly smoothly.

Since returning from Pesach, he's started up again with the physical fighting. He does fine during structured classroom activities, the incidents only happen during free play. There have been no changes in his life that I can think of. Also, there is no unusual aggression at home, just standard sibling squabbles that resolve quickly. It's also hard to get him to talk about his feelings or his behavior. He does not have any language issues, he's otherwise very articulate and expressive. He knows full well that hitting is unacceptable. I don't think he's overall unhappy in school, he's done well most of the year and in general talks positively about school and looks forward to going. Not really sure how to get through to him and figure out what's going on.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, May 07 2019, 2:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Does he also like bumping and crashing into things? Then it may be helped with OT

amother

Tue, May 07 2019, 2:41 pm

He's a little sensory, but he doesn't particularly go for bumping and crashing (he likes to squeeze and smush things. But only things, not people). That's interesting that your son found first grade easier. I guess I can hope it's like that for mine as well. My oldest had a hard time adjusting to first grade.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, May 07 2019, 2:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I guess we saw what happened the year prior so we were proactive with sitting down with the rebbi and setting up a plan: send him out on errands, seat him up front and not in between other children etc etc etc... good luck

FranticFrummie

Tue, May 07 2019, 3:46 pm

He may not be able to tell you "why" he hit. Try asking him "What was happening before the hitting?"

DD used to complain about other kids hitting and kicking her. I felt sorry for her for a long time, and then one day I asked her "What happened BEFORE Dovi kicked you?" DD says "I wasn't doing anything, just wobbling the desk!"

She didn't seem to see how her behavior annoys other kids, to the point where they retaliate. It took a lot of work to get her to see her part in things.

Your son might not be able to pinpoint what it is that other kids do, that sets him off.