Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
What’s preferable
1  2  3  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2019, 11:43 pm
We are in a situation now where we are slowly sinking into debt to cover our basic expenses (rent, food, utilities, tuition, transportation). We both work.
I started typing up a long post detailing our whole situation, but I decided it isn’t relevant now. I am going to cut to the chase:
If you had to choose between a) food stamps b) borrowing/writing up on grocery account c) tomchei shabbos d) lowering expenses by cutting out basics (my kids already use hand me downs, I mean basics like walking an hour to work instead of taking a taxi, or cleaning help once in two weeks) or selling stuff from around the house on eBay
Which would you choose?
I always thought I had enough dignity to say D but now that it’s come down to it...
Back to top

amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, May 19 2019, 11:52 pm
if you are eligible for govt programs. go on government programs. you are working - no shame - they are meant for you.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2019, 11:54 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
if you are eligible for govt programs. go on government programs. you are working - no shame - they are meant for you.


We applied but until we are approved should we rather go into debt or take tomchei shabbos? I used to think tomchei shabbos no way, but how is it fair to the grocery. Idk.
Back to top

JoyInTheMorning




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:01 am
I don't think people really make money selling thing on eBay. You can cut out cleaning help, but you can't walk an hour to work. (I think the time it takes to walk to work could be used to better effect to clean your apartment/house. Most Americans, including myself, don't have cleaning help and manage just fine.)

Borrowing on grocery accounts won't work for more than a month or two, I would think.

I think food stamps (SNAP) is an honorable solution; it was made for people who are working but can't make ends meet. The question is whether you qualify. As far as I know, you are only allowed very limited savings, so you may need to figure out how to qualify. I think that Tomchei Shabbos is also a good idea. Do not feel bad about accepting government or private-organization help; it was made for exactly these circumstances. One day, you will pay it forward to others who need help.

Long term, you need to realize that rents and utilities rise; tuitions rise; unexpected expenses like medical bills come up. So you'll need to figure out how to get better jobs. I know that is not easy, but that needs to be your long term goal.
Back to top

doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:01 am
If you're located in Boro Park check out MAsbias schedule for giveaways of raw products for cooking etc.
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:03 am
Foodstamps.
Tomchei shabbos you only get minimal food, you will still support your grocery, even if you take from them.
Now you need to worry first about yourself before worrying of the parnassah of the grocer.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:04 am
JoyInTheMorning wrote:
I don't think people really make money selling thing on eBay. You can cut out cleaning help, but you can't walk an hour to work. (I think the time it takes to walk to work could be used to better effect to clean your apartment/house. Most Americans, including myself, don't have cleaning help and manage just fine.)

Borrowing on grocery accounts won't work for more than a month or two, I would think.

I think food stamps (SNAP) is an honorable solution; it was made for people who are working but can't make ends meet. The question is whether you qualify. As far as I know, you are only allowed very limited savings, so you may need to figure out how to qualify. I think that Tomchei Shabbos is also a good idea. Do not feel bad about accepting government or private-organization help; it was made for exactly these circumstances. One day, you will pay it forward to others who need help.

Long term, you need to realize that rents and utilities rise; tuitions rise; unexpected expenses like medical bills come up. So you'll need to figure out how to get better jobs. I know that is not easy, but that needs to be your long term goal.


Thanks. I am in school, and am hoping for a better situation in the future.
I appreciate your advice.
Back to top

JoyInTheMorning




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:05 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We applied but until we are approved should we rather go into debt or take tomchei shabbos? I used to think tomchei shabbos no way, but how is it fair to the grocery. Idk.


It is by far better to take Tomchei Shabbos than to not pay your grocery bill. Store owners operate on such small margins that a few non-paying customers could really make *them* not able to pay their bills. But Tomchei Shabbos is funded by people who could afford to fund the program. I am not saying that you should rely on Tomchei Shabbos long term but in the short term, it's reasonable to ask them for help.

One day, iy"h, you will be one of those who support Tomchei Shabbos. Pay it forward.
Back to top

trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:07 am
There's no shame in food stamps no matter how many people on this site seem to think so. If you live in a frum area, there are people who can expedite your application. Your kids shouldn't have to further suffer because of misplaced dignity.
In the meantime, if you can supplement income in any way (though eBay is likely not the most efficient answer) obviously do that.
Back to top

amother
Amber


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 12:14 am
I agree with the rest here that you shouldnt allow yourself and your children to suffer if you can get help with food stamps, Tomchei Shabbos, etc. if you're eligible. This is exactly why it was made.
Also, I'm not sure, but its possible that your food stamps will be retroactive from when you applied.
My financial situation recently improved and I hope to get off foodstamps in the very near future. It was nice while it lasted, as it helped me stay afloat. I can't imagine how stressful grocery shopping would've been without it...Know that this can be a temporary situation.
Back to top

baby12x




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 1:26 am
1. Cut out cleaning help. It's not a basic
2. Cut everything you possibly can
3. SNAP and WIC were created for people like you. Take it. No shame
4. Tomchei shabbos. If you need tzeddaka, then take it. Iyh one day you can give tzeddaka yourself
5. Figure out how you're going to change your situation. New job? New career? Sell house?
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 5:47 am
Me I would walk to work and keep the cleaning help if that was a choice. At least some days. Its good exercise too. And if you are sitting in traffic you may not be losing too much time. Listen to podcasts or music or audio books and you might even really enjoy that time.

def take any other help you can. IYH things will improve!
Back to top

amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 7:29 am
Isn't there emergency programs to get food stamps the next day?

I had a situation. They gave me the place and schedule of food banks and gave me food stamps the next day.

This was NY.
Back to top

amother
Brown


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 7:39 am
Raisin wrote:
Me I would walk to work and keep the cleaning help if that was a choice. At least some days. Its good exercise too. And if you are sitting in traffic you may not be losing too much time. Listen to podcasts or music or audio books and you might even really enjoy that time.

def take any other help you can. IYH things will improve!


I think taxis are a luxury, again that's my opinion. Walking to work is good exercise and I'm sure it'll save a lot of money. Yes, it'll take longer, but its worth it to save money. I'm not judging you, but I also have a 2 hr commute to work to save money and its worth it. I wish I would be able to take a taxi but I use the money saved for basic bills. Just some "food for thought".

Anyway, whatever you decide, I'm sorry you are in this position. Its tough when you are both working hard and still can't make ends meet.
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 8:46 am
I think food stamps is the best option and budgeting strongly I don’t think walking an hour to work is the smartest cause u will get there zonked. Do you have government health insurance verses private cause then there are no copays which will lessen the burden. If you have kids under 5 apply for wic also. People hit tough and rough spots and these programs can help you catch your breath.

In the grocery focus on buying cheaper brands maybe shop for fruits and veggies in the fruit market. Make a menu to not buy extras.
Back to top

amother
Cyan


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 10:50 am
Selling on eBay junk around the house does add up. I would not throw this option away.
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 11:04 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
I think food stamps is the best option and budgeting strongly I don’t think walking an hour to work is the smartest cause u will get there zonked. Do you have government health insurance verses private cause then there are no copays which will lessen the burden. If you have kids under 5 apply for wic also. People hit tough and rough spots and these programs can help you catch your breath.

In the grocery focus on buying cheaper brands maybe shop for fruits and veggies in the fruit market. Make a menu to not buy extras.


I start each workday with an hours walk (I work from home) and I am not zonked. Unless OP is 97 or 8 months pregnant walking is not that tiring. So many people start off their day with running or the gym or other exercise.
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 11:24 am
Raisin wrote:
I start each workday with an hours walk (I work from home) and I am not zonked. Unless OP is 97 or 8 months pregnant walking is not that tiring. So many people start off their day with running or the gym or other exercise.


But when u get home u have cool down time you have time to collect yourself. And going to the gym it’s the same you don’t wear a sheitel to do your exercise it’s not the same my makeup would be disgusting I would feel stinky
Back to top

amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 11:26 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We are in a situation now where we are slowly sinking into debt to cover our basic expenses (rent, food, utilities, tuition, transportation). We both work.
I started typing up a long post detailing our whole situation, but I decided it isn’t relevant now. I am going to cut to the chase:
If you had to choose between a) food stamps b) borrowing/writing up on grocery account c) tomchei shabbos d) lowering expenses by cutting out basics (my kids already use hand me downs, I mean basics like walking an hour to work instead of taking a taxi, or cleaning help once in two weeks) or selling stuff from around the house on eBay
Which would you choose?
I always thought I had enough dignity to say D but now that it’s come down to it...


There's nothing wrong with food stamps, assuming that you're eligible. Ditto tomchei Shabbat.

That said, taxis aren't "basic." Few places don't have any public transit. But if you're in one of them, look into a carpool situation; even if you can't drive, you can chip in for gas.

Cleaning help also isn't basic. Its a great thing to have, but its not "basic" for someone who is financially struggling.

As to selling things from around the house on ebay -- its not going to help. It sounds like you have an endemic issue, not a one-off, need to pay a particular expense. What would you do after everything is sold? You need to find a way to either increase income or decrease expenses.
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 11:32 am
For everyone something else necessity & something else is luxury.
Some people can't live without cleaning help. Some people can't walk long lengths.
Everyone was different circumstances.
Back to top
Page 1 of 3 1  2  3  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Finances