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Hungry but don't want anything I offer.



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 5:10 am
My 7 year old has started to complain about being hungry all the time but she refuses the food I offer her, even when it's things she likes.

She has always had a choice of cereals for breakfast and likes all the options, but lately has been saying she doesn't want cereals. I have offered fruit or a piece of bread/ toast as an alternative and for a few days she took the toast but now is not wanting that either.

Snacks are the same story. She comes home from school genuinely hungry and I usually prepare fruit that she likes, plus some kind of carbohydrate like bread or crackers, occasionally biscuits, but now all she wants is biscuits or cake, and even when I give it (which is not every day) she still asks for something else but refuses everything I'm offering.

Meal times are also becoming a problem. She was always such a good eater, but has become a lot more fussy, sometimes saying she doesn't like a food she was perfectly happy to eat just 2 nights ago.

Now, her younger brother and sister have started the same behaviour at mealtimes but they have never been such good eaters to begin with and last night DS refused to eat every single thing on offer, in spite of it being a meal he usually likes.

I am trying not to make an issue of it but it'sreally frustrating and I don't know the best way to handle it.

Any suggestions?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 5:17 am
Also, I didn't know whether to make a separate thread about this but the 7 year old has been behaving terribly in general. I don't know if the 2 issues are connected,, maybe she is hungry so she's acting up, or maybe the food issue is just another part of a bigger problem that is also causing her to behave disruptively.

It's just that she just decides to be naughty and runs through the house, waving her arms and shouting/ laughing loudly, as if she is putting on an act of a naughty child. This of course encourages her siblings to do similar and the whole situation gets out of control.
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 5:59 am
You might try ignoring the whole issue-offer the foods then walk away. This will help if the issue is a power struggle. I don't see what's wrong with a child running all over the house waving her arms and yelling if she isn't hurting anyone although if she is hungry, her behavior will deteriorate.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 8:04 am
BTDT!

Offer only two food options. She picks one or the other, or she can go without because she's not really hungry, she's looking for attention. I finally told DD "This is not a fancy restaurant, and there is not a big menu. These are your choices."

I can have a fridge stocked from back to front, and DD would stand there and whine "There's nothing to eeeeeeeaaaaaaaat!" I'm pretty sure that every parent on the planet has had this happen at least once, if not for years on end with a teenager. It's extremely frustrating.

Does your 7yo go shopping with you? She really should. Ask her what she likes, but as you go talk to her about healthy choices. Does she want chicken for dinner? Soup, or roasted? Zucchini or broccoli or eggplant? Stir fry or oven baked?

Get her invested in choosing healthy foods, and let her make good decisions. Praise her when she makes a good choice, like carrots and dip. "Oooh, that sounds yummy! What a good idea for a snack! What kind of dip should we make?"

Let her help you in the kitchen whenever you can. Even if she's just stirring things that have already been stirred, or dumping in ingredients. The more involved she is with making the food, the more she'll want to eat it.

Expect all of this to change and not work when she's around 13 or 14. By then, you can tell her "You know where the kitchen is, help yourself!" LOL

(If she's running around like a maniac, you either need to send her outside to play, or get her an indoor trampoline. She doesn't sound like she's being bad, she's bored and has too much energy. If a boy were acting that way, everyone would say "Oh, he's just being a boy. It's totally normal.)
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ddmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 10:01 am
I usually offer a few choices and then say: "I offered you this,this or this.you can pick anything you want or you can always have bread or cereals.You're a big girl and I'm not in charge of feeding you! "
And then walk away. And get busy somewhere else.
Some kids do act crazy from not eating! I have one of those! Wink
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ddmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 20 2019, 10:46 am
High calorie snack for example nuts are a good choice!
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 21 2019, 8:40 am
oneofakind wrote:
You might try ignoring the whole issue-offer the foods then walk away. This will help if the issue is a power struggle. I don't see what's wrong with a child running all over the house waving her arms and yelling if she isn't hurting anyone although if she is hungry, her behavior will deteriorate.


How can I walk away? The kids just follow me and don't stop saying they're hungry!

What's wrong with her running around and yelling is that it's not that she is engrossed in an imaginitive game and doesn't realise how loud she's being (we're in apartment so there is SOME limit on acceptable noise), rather she is doing this in a deliberate attempt to annoy me. This then puts the other kids, especially 4yo DS, into the "let's annoy mommy" mood, so he'll then try his best to annoy me too.

How should I handle it? I can ignore it up to a point if she's just trying to attract attention but if she gets too loud I do have to try and stop it. Also, if I pretend not to be be bothered, she'll simply do something else like get right up in my face and laugh hysterically. She's very determined!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 21 2019, 8:45 am
Are they getting enough mommy cuddles? Do you read a lot of books to them? It sounds like they really need some positive input from you, but they'll settle for negative.

Put them both to work in the kitchen with you. If you need to prep things in advance to freeze, you have two little helpers right there. Get them to fold laundry, even if it's just hand towels and wash cloths. Give them wipes and have them do the front of cabinets and the floors. Make a square in the kitchen, and give them a broom. Have them try to get all the crumbs into the square. Have them race to clean up the toy room, or assign them different colors of toys to pick up. DS gets red and green toys, DD gets yellow and purple toys, etc.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 21 2019, 3:04 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Are they getting enough mommy cuddles? Do you read a lot of books to them? It sounds like they really need some positive input from you, but they'll settle for negative.


That's not the situation at all.

I don't know if they're getting enough mommy cuddles, but I am a very loving mother and they do get lots of cuddles every day. Yes, I read a lot of books to them every day. Sometimes 10 in a day including whole chapter books. They each get to choose books that I will read to them and 4yo DS is usually happy to listen to a book chosen by 7yo DD (if he knows he's going to get his book read next) but DD often complains that she's bored when I'm reading DS's choice of book and disturbs us instead of listening.

I'm very positive with them and really not at all negative. That's why I'm feeling a bit stuck now because all of a sudden it's not working.

7yo is definitely seeking attention but it is not because I'm not giving her enough positive input or I'm being negative towards her.

Having them help me in the kitchen is difficult because I've got a 2 yo as well and she of course wants to be involved too but she ends up just annoying them bu walking out with the pan of vegetables they just put or mixing the discarded parts in with the salad.

They both like helping me with other things like mopping the floor, but even that often ends in them fighting because they both wanted to mop the same area an no one can wait til next time when they can swap, or get "UGGHH! What am I supposed to do now that it's his turn to mop?"
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