Do you have rules | Imamother

amother

Mon, May 20 2019, 8:32 pm

Do you make it clear what the rules are or do you expect your kids to figure it out?

Some examples:

We don't play ball in the street

We don't splash water out of the bath tub

We don't take food from the closet without permission

We don't come out of bed at night

amother

Jetblack

Mon, May 20 2019, 8:38 pm

We are 5 years old and under so no one opens the door to the street without permission. My kids know they will be banned from playing with friends for 24 hours if they do.
. I have a lot of other rules but they're just part of the daily routine I.e. teeth brushing, no standing up during dinner except for the bathroom, no unpacking a gazillion toys at once, etc.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 20 2019, 8:45 pm

Of course I have rules, and yes, I repeat them often enough that my kids know them well. Rules keep them safe and healthy, and allow them to develop the traits they need to be the adults I hope they are one day.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, May 20 2019, 8:48 pm

Oh also, if you spill something you wipe it up. Even 18 month olds can do this. My dh was not trained that way and it's terrible. He's supposed to follow the rule as well but if I'm not around to watch the spill happen he won't Banging head

amother

Mon, May 20 2019, 8:49 pm

I assumed all families do. But today I asked a neighbor what are her safety rules because I am out a lot and she isn't and I wanted to know when to remind her kids to get out of the street for example. When I asked if she lets them play in the street she said "of course not, they should know. I don't have a rule".

Answering miraclemamma

ectomorph

Mon, May 20 2019, 9:10 pm

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

We put chains on the top of our doors and once we found them hanging off when one of our kids woke up in the middle of the night

I make my rules into short phrases and repeat them all the time
No dumping
No hitting
No throwing toys
No biting
No climbing on the kitchen counters
No "washing dishes" aka flooding the house
Stay on sidewalk /hold hands in street
Must wear clothes to go outside
Pee goes in the potty or toilet

These are my most frequent repeated rules... If you have kids that consider these things self evident, you're lucky!

allthingsblue

Mon, May 20 2019, 9:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That's nice of you...
But she should be taking responsibility for her own kids (and unless she asked you to watch them and you agreed).

amother

Indigo

Mon, May 20 2019, 9:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No one ever has to use the bathroom at night?

amother

Red

Mon, May 20 2019, 9:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So it's not that she doesn't have rules. She just doesn't list them the way you do. I'm sure she's made it clear to her kids even if it's not in "rule format" like you.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, May 20 2019, 9:32 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

So it's not that she doesn't have rules. She just doesn't list them the way you do. I'm sure she's made it clear to her kids even if it's not in "rule format" like you.

Exactly. We don't have 'rules'. There are certain things though that my kids know that I don't allow them to do.

amother

Jade

Mon, May 20 2019, 9:47 pm

Try replacing your rules with we do and not don’t. Instead of we don’t eat on rooms, we only eat on the kitchen
We don’t play ball in the street, with ball playing is for the basement/ playroom/backyard only...

amother

Mon, May 20 2019, 10:16 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

No one ever has to use the bathroom at night?

No. Also didn't mean bathroom. Meant after bedtime kids aren't allowed to come out and come out and come out 😀

tichellady

Mon, May 20 2019, 10:18 pm

I didn’t grow up in a house with a lot of rules- mainly be nice and respectful, don’t eat upstairs, and don’t answer the door if you don’t know who is there. Otherwise it was pretty laidback

amother

Mon, May 20 2019, 10:19 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

That's nice of you...
But she should be taking responsibility for her own kids (and unless she asked you to watch them and you agreed).

That's a whole different thread 😀 at the end of the day if I am outside and see her kid riding in middle of the street or playing in middle of the street I feel obligated to protect and teach the child.

amother

Linen

Mon, May 20 2019, 10:19 pm

ectomorph wrote:

These are my most frequent repeated rules... If you have kids that consider these things self evident, you're lucky!

NOTHING is self-evident!! Surprised

at least in this house!

amother

Mon, May 20 2019, 10:21 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

So it's not that she doesn't have rules. She just doesn't list them the way you do. I'm sure she's made it clear to her kids even if it's not in "rule format" like you.

Not really. Her rule is be safe and use your common sense. What I realized is that she assumes her kids have common sense. I assume they don't 😀

amother

Rose

Mon, May 20 2019, 10:22 pm

Every house has house rules. But most parents don't list them like drill sergeants. You raise the kids like this from when they're young & this is how they grow up and get used to. My kids know we only eat in the kitchen, everyone clears their own dishes off the table, you don't get up before you bentch, we only drink water when we eat, unpack one type of building toy at a time, no opening the front door, no crossing the street alone.... I think these things are the norm for many households, this is how the kids grow up.