School like oz vehadar in Brooklyn

amother

Amethyst

Wed, May 22 2019, 2:14 am

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

I feel very strongly about this due to a bad experience.
IMO, it is better that these schools do not exist, and these students are integrated into the hashkafacially strong schools.
The only reason why there is a so-called need for these type of schools is because of the resistance of the BY schools to accept students who are academically weak or do not fit the perfect mold.

The problem is that the main stream schools dont accept these kids! There is no system in Brooklyn where every child is guaranteed to be place in a BY school like they have in lakwood. Brooklyn girls without a school end up in nefesh. Because noone else is opening their doors unless your a good academic student and perfect hashkaficly. The main stream BY schools dont want to deal with any problems and that's why Oz vehodor is needed.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, May 22 2019, 8:51 am

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

Honestly, I have no secrets.
Like I said I had a negative experience with a certain school that would be considered a “lifesaver” but was actually a “lifebreaker” in a spiritual sense, and I didn’t want to repeat my mistake.
I’m not interested in discussing this in-depth on this forum.
If you want to hear more details I can post an anonymous email address.

This is your experience. Do you believe that many others can have completely opposite experiences and that schools like Machon and oz vehadar are, in fact, their lifesavers?
I'm dealing with it now. No mainstream school wanted to take my daughter only because of academics. She's a very regular BY type behaviorwise, no problems whatsoever. Regular schools are blind and deaf to the pleas, and I did use some pulls.

Even if by some miracle a weaker girl gets into a regular school, what good does it do to her when they aren't equipped or interested in helping her academically?! She should feel like the most stupid kid? For what, for being able to say she's in a "regular" school?

And let me just tell you something about mainstream BY schools, as my daughter is in one now. Exactly same behaviors going on there. In every. single. BY.

amother

Orchid

Wed, May 22 2019, 10:22 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

I’m glad it worked out for you,
I personally would rather my child be a weak student but be in a strong hashkafic environment than vice versa.

Based on my experience I would strongly urge anyone else in a similar situation who is following this thread to explore other options.
There are options available and people who can help:
And if you’ve really done everything in your power and still cannot get any doors open for you in the mainstream schools, consider looking into a school that’s to the left/more modern than your hashkafos but well run and equipped to deal with hashkafic issues.

Re; academics
My experience has been that mainstream BY schools are in fact equipped to handle girls who struggle academically.

There are dedicated tracks for these types of girls or p3 services and resources available even in the most elite schools with rigorous academics.

amother

Orchid

Wed, May 22 2019, 10:26 am

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

I don’t have personal experience with Oz Vehadar but I do have personal experience with another “lifesaver” school and if you think they’re equipped to deal with hashkafic issues you are not familiar with what goes on there and how the administration deals with it.
They have in fact thrown at least one group of girls that I know of out their doors and into the streets.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, May 22 2019, 11:21 am

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

But wait, since when was machon a school to deal with girls with academic or hashkafa issues? certainly was not when I was there 25 years ago.....
some ppl considered it more with it but the hashkafa was very much in line with bais yakov.

Machon of today is nothing like it used to be

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, May 22 2019, 11:30 am

Amother Orchid,
I see you're talking about some major hashkafic/behavioral issues. FYI, machon within the last 2-3 y changed their way of whom they were accepting, once the new principal came. It's different than 5-6 y ago. I'm not talking about Nefesh or Shalsheles.

Re: academics - no, many BY HS in Brooklyn are absolutely not equipped to handle weaker students. They don't even have a resource room. That's if you even manage to get in. I can count schools with support on one hand, none of which want to accept girls who need that support. They do take weaker girls from their own elementary, but not weaker outsiders. And trust me, feeling dumb in a school with good hashkafah kids is no picnic and can do a number on a girl's self esteem.

I agree about considering more MO schools, which usually have better support, despite being more academic. Unfortunately, there's pretty much only Shulamith in Brooklyn and they don't have the adequate academic support now, afaik.

amother

Orchid

Wed, May 22 2019, 12:21 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

What do you mean by the above?
Is the new principal more or less selective?

I personally don't find that my daughters suffer from low self-esteem due to poor academic performance.
But B"H they do not have any learning disabilities so this may not be the case for everyone. They do very well socially including one daughter who is in a school known for being on a very high academic level.
I find that being socially successful has more of an impact on self-esteem than academic skills.