S/O maaser and relinquishing financial decisions to husband

byisrael

Wed, May 22 2019, 11:50 am

You got a psak - follow it!

We had a point were we couldn't afford maaser and we where told NOT to give maaser but to try give tzedaka here and there so we don't get out of the habit (small amounts according to our means).

Just to give you hope we are now in a place where we overpay maaser (not 1/5 but more then a 1/10th) and are still able to put a substantial amount into savings (we do live pretty frugally but really not extreme). Circumstances change!

amother

Teal

Wed, May 22 2019, 7:37 pm

I am confused by this thread. It is my understanding that every Jew, no matter how poor, is obligated in the mitzva of tzedaka. Now maaser is a minimum of 10%. I have heard that if you are struggling, your childrens' tuition can count for maaser. But that couple still has the obligation of tzedaka.

Frankly, imo, unless we are talking about people with disabilities who simply cannot clean their own home, or the mother is on bed rest and the father is already dealing with double the work load, cleaning help does not come before maaser. If you are living as frugally as possible (read: all the things that have been mentioned on this forum before) and you still are living paycheck to paycheck that is one thing. But if OP says she doesn't know how to live frugally, then frankly she is not doing enough. Check out this forum. There are lots of ideas here.

Unfortunately, it has happened before that a rav will give a psak and not have a perfect understanding of the situation. I am not saying that you buy your coffee at DD or Starbucks, but if you do and he knew it, I cannot imagine that he would say you are not obligated to give maaser.

mig100

Wed, May 22 2019, 7:56 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

I am confused by this thread. It is my understanding that every Jew, no matter how poor, is obligated in the mitzva of tzedaka. Now maaser is a minimum of 10%.

I'm also confused

Everyone should try to give tzedaka true..no matter how poor u have to give maaser??

Where did u hear that?

amother

Teal

Wed, May 22 2019, 8:01 pm

mig100 wrote:

I'm also confused

Everyone should try to give tzedaka true..no matter how poor u have to give maaser??

Where did u hear that?

I don't know the halachos of maaser well. I know rabbanim say you can use maaser for tuition if you are struggling. I don't know what someone who doesn't pay tuition would do in this case.
But everyone needs to give tzedaka (not the same thing as maaser which is a certain percentage.) There is no such thing as a person who has no obligation to give charity. Unless they are literally penniless with no possessions.

mig100

Wed, May 22 2019, 8:34 pm

[quote="amother [ Teal ]"]I don't know the halachos of maaser well. I know rabbanim say you can use maaser for tuition if you are struggling. I don't know what someone who doesn't pay tuition would do in this case.
But everyone needs to give tzedaka (not the same thing as maaser which is a certain percentage.) There is no such thing as a person who has no obligation to give charity. Unless they are literally penniless with no possessions.[/quote

all true- giving maaser is very different from tzedakah. maaaser is a very big percentage for those who struggle financially (ie: lots of people)

amother

Burgundy

Wed, May 22 2019, 9:30 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

I completely agree. My husband is unemployed and we blew through our savings on fertility treatments. We are not in a good financial place. But giving tzedakah (generally, and maaser specifically) is not something I’d compromise on. I’d cut out any luxury before cutting that out.