Dilemma changing schools

amother

Fri, May 24 2019, 11:51 am

I am very unhappy with my child's school for many reasons. I am at the point where I am fed up and in the process of trying to switch schools. But I'm having a hard time. The school my child is in now, is very well run, they have state of the art programs, lot's of extras and a phenomenal education. My main issues are they are cold, they don't care about the students and they pick on silly things. My child is not happy there, but doing very well academically. The school I would switch to is very basic. They are run down, no extras, and lower overall education. But they are warm and care about the students. I can't handle my child being so unhappy but I'm having such a hard time downgrading in every other way. This is the only option to switch to unless we move which isn't really possible. Would you switch schools or stick it out and hope it magically gets better somehow?

amother

Babypink

Fri, May 24 2019, 12:27 pm

I work in several schools so I see them from the inside. I sent my own kids to the warmer school and I have zero regrets. Academics and programming are really wonderful, but not at the expense of my children's emotional best interests.

mha3484

Fri, May 24 2019, 12:33 pm

I have had some major issues with the hanhala of my sons yeshiva but at the end of the day they try hard to make the school a warm caring place. On my sons worst days, he loves going to school and that says something. To me school culture is the most important thing. No school is 100% perfect. If you can be 85% happy that is great!

amother

Coffee

Fri, May 24 2019, 1:04 pm

I made this move. I put most of my kids in the smaller, more basic, lesser school. Definitely not as good of an education in many ways.

My kids are happy and thriving. One of my kids I kept in the more established school, and there are some days she refuses to go.

I think that a good education really begins at home. Keep them reading - as long as they're always reading, they'll get better at understanding abstract concepts, develop vocabulary, get a feel for the written word and what sounds good on the page, etc. I went to an abysmal school, along with one of my siblings, and we went to top graduate programs in the country.

amother

Green

Fri, May 24 2019, 1:23 pm

I would say switch initially, but then I thought about it.
Does she have friends in her current school. How hard will it be for her to adjust socially in a new school. Those are huge factors as a lot of the learning is school is the social learning in and out of the classroom. That said, an unhappy child won't learn very much.

There are 2 schools in my community. One big and one small. The big one isn't cold, but being so big it lacks the warmth. It's more academic and challenging. The smaller one is so so so warm and stress midos and warmth over the pressure. We chose the smaller one for the love they have for the girls. My daughter is still young, but absolutely loves school.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, May 24 2019, 1:36 pm

First, I would find out why my child is unhappy there. If it something I could charge with persistence I would.

I would pick the school with phenomenal education. Too many times the schools have a sub par education. It is important to me that my children get a good foundation. Very few can overcome a weak foundation. I haven't seen it. It marks you for life; although, it is kind of ok if you stay within the frum community.

Supplementing won't fill in the gaps between a weak education and a phenomenal one unless you have had a phenomenal education yourself.

amother

Fri, May 24 2019, 2:17 pm

To answer some questions. She is very social and makes friends instantly. She went to camp without knowing anyone and did great. I'm not worried about that. She is unhappy because she is largely ignored, the kids at the top and bottom of the class get all the attention. She is just a good kid who does well in school so no one notices her. She wants to be noticed and complimented once in a while. The only time they notice her is if she's not perfect and that bothers her that they blow little imperfections out of proportion but ignore her when she is doing well. Any time I have tried to speak to teachers or principals about any issues they basically said they don't care and acted like I was crazy for even calling. Recently I have not called about things she is unhappy about because of the attitude and she just comes home crying everyday.

dankbar

Fri, May 24 2019, 2:50 pm

In every classroom the top who jump out with the answer & the girls not doing well get noticed. ( or the trouble makers) The average usually falls between the cracks.

How many kids are in the class? If there are too many kids, the teacher who needs to address the problem kids can't give so much full attention on the kids that don't need the help. In a smaller class, everyone feels more like an active part of the class. When class is divided for projects, if each group consists of only 3-4 girls everyone must contribute whereas in larger class, in larger groups, the same will do the work.

Bear in mind though that in a smaller class, if not everyone is friends like one happy family, it's harder to find friends if you dont have enough girls to choose from.