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What does it mean to be judgmental?



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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:00 am
Exactly what the subject line is...

Is it words and actions or also thoughts? I don't think I'm judgmental, but I'm sure I am in some aspects. As a separate things, how does one not be?

Examples please.
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mig100




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:04 am
It means thinking they r give the job of g-d and therefore it's their responsibility to judge others actions, decisions, behaviors.

It means putting others down to lift ones own insecurity.

I can add examples if ud like
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:10 am
Let's say for example, your dd is wearing a skirt that you find too short or your ds is not davening properly. How is it possible to not be judgmental? Is it being judgmental by thinking it's wrong, but not saying anything? Not that that's what my kids do, they're perfect Rolling Eyes Very Happy .
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ellacoe




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:13 am
I find that part of it is recognizing and respecting that people do things differently than I do and that is OK. Their criteria for decision making is different than mine and that too is OK.

Ten people can see one picture or read one story and each one can walk away with their own interpretation. Each one being the truth to them. We all see things differently and make decisions based on our perspective.

It is also not jumping to conclusions and being Dan L'Kav Zechus.
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mig100




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:34 am
yo'ma wrote:
Let's say for example, your dd is wearing a skirt that you find too short or your ds is not davening properly. How is it possible to not be judgmental? Is it being judgmental by thinking it's wrong, but not saying anything? Not that that's what my kids do, they're perfect Rolling Eyes Very Happy .


Ok maybe kids r exceptions when they r up in in some scenarios.

As far as dh or anyone else - if they were doing something obviously wrong I'd think- I think what they r doings is wrong yet there r some many factors- their circumstances, unique strength and weaknesses I don't know. So it's impossible for me to understand let alone judge them
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:36 am
I want to add that some people have a more judgmental nature and it really is harder for them to be tolerant and openminded. They may be working on it, though.
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leah233




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:43 am
yo'ma wrote:
Let's say for example, your dd is wearing a skirt that you find too short or your ds is not davening properly. How is it possible to not be judgmental? Is it being judgmental by thinking it's wrong, but not saying anything? Not that that's what my kids do, they're perfect Rolling Eyes Very Happy .


Recognizing wrong doing isn't being judgmental. Particularly if you actually see this behavior yourself and aren't basing it on hearsay.

What would be judgmental is e.g.

(1)using that behavior in your example to judge the person as a whole

(2)elevating an example you gave to be on par with behavior that marks the person evil no matter what else they do

(3)assume you know enough of the persons motives and struggles to judge them for it

(4)assuming that because someone belongs to a certain group they must be worthy of a negative opinion

(5)ascribing negative motives to a group or individual without knowing them to be true

(6)being quick to believe rumors becuase they are being said (about a member of) that group

(7)being obsessed with the real and imagined faults of other people and groups

(8)etc.


Last edited by leah233 on Sun, May 26 2019, 8:16 am; edited 2 times in total
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 26 2019, 7:46 am
(Psst. Can you believe someone's actually asking, what does it mean to be judgmental? I mean, helllo, didn't she go to school? Scratching Head eye roll)

Wink
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