S/o Spending on different things

amother

Tue, May 28 2019, 1:21 pm

I find that people spend on different things. One family will live in a tiny apartment but have lots of cleaning help.

Will buy clothing from walmart but travel to Israel regularly. I know about points but if you took the cash back instead of flying to israel it would be cheaper.

Some people value savings while other people don't.

I think part of the problem with peer pressure is not just that people have different amounts of income but that they spend differently...

I've heard that often times poorer people will spend more on discretionary stuff like expensive clothing because they figure that something like owning a house isn't going to happen anyway

Thoughts?

baby12x

Tue, May 28 2019, 1:35 pm

Everyone has "needs" that they need and luxuries that are important to them that other feel aren't important or are wasteful.
Additionally, money management is a very emotional thing so different people relate to money in different ways

33055

Tue, May 28 2019, 1:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Spending on discretionary stuff like expensive clothing is often why people can't afford a house. The book the millionaire next door illustrates this.

amother

Slategray

Tue, May 28 2019, 1:57 pm

I think that is reasonable and self-understood.

I think it becomes painful within our communities when you have some people spending in a conspicuous way while also talking virtuously about their religious choices when many people really do want the best kind of spirituality in their lives, but can't do that. So it feels in-your-face. And some people deal with the voices of teachers past, telling them what the "right thing" is and its hard to chart your own course when life is different from what you were told.

Moonlight

Tue, May 28 2019, 1:59 pm

This happens 100%
What's not fair is that tuition committees can say one person gets more aid because they have less in their bank because they spend it all on discretionary stuff whereas the person saving for a house has more in bank but the school demands it all.

amother

Tue, May 28 2019, 2:58 pm

squishy- you are preaching to the choir here Wink

we own our house, don't wear high end clothing and save for retirement. I just find it interesting when I hear people say how they pinch pennies more then other people and then I hear how they spend on x, y, and z that also costs, they just are spending differently.

100% agree with you moonlight.

Or people owning a big house and being "low income' but that's a different story.

Personally I think responsibility in money management in sorely needed in the frum community...

I remember someone saying how they got flack about leaving kollel when they just couldn't afford it from people whose parents were supporting them and had no place to be going on about sacrificing for torah.

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, May 28 2019, 3:01 pm

So, so true. Moonlight, you're 100% right. I've heard it said on here that the tuition committees are incentivizing people to buy homes sooner when they're not as financially stable, just to tie up their savings in the house!

I know people who don't send their kids to day camp in the summer, literally don't even use orange juice because it's too expensive, eat egg salad sandwiches for supper twice a week because it's cheap, etc. -- and they can't get a tuition break, while the people with the fancy clothing who are vacationing to Israel and Florida multiple times a year are getting huge breaks.

I grew up in a family that spent nothing on clothing and never went on vacation, but we spent a lot on takeout. My parents considered it a necessity with both of them working hard.

One of my SILs is very frugal with everything besides her sheitels. She feels that she needs to look presentable at work, and it gives her confidence. This SIL's MIL and SIL judge her very harshly for what they perceive to be a waste.