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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:45 am
What's the best way to respond when you've already met someone, but they don't remember you?
I was at a bar mitzvah this Shabbos and saw someone I've met before but don't know well. Said Good Shabbos and so did she, and then she introduced herself clearly not knowing who I was. What would you say next?
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ra_mom
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:47 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | What's the best way to respond when you've already met someone, but they don't remember you?
I was at a bar mitzvah this Shabbos and saw someone I've met before but don't know well. Said Good Shabbos and so did she, and then she introduced herself clearly not knowing who I was. What would you say next? |
I'm ra_mom from imamother, we met last week. It's so nice to see you again!
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simcha2
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:48 am
Could have been me (except I wasn't at a bar mitzvah this Shabbos). I suffer from mild facial blindness. I don't recognize anyone I don't know really well. I use cues to help. If you tell me your name I can normally place you. But visually, not a chance.
I'm continually apologizing and explaining to people.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. It really is me, not you.
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amother
cornflower
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:54 am
simcha2 wrote: | Could have been me (except I wasn't at a bar mitzvah this Shabbos). I suffer from mild facial blindness. I don't recognize anyone I don't know really well. I use cues to help. If you tell me your name I can normally place you. But visually, not a chance.
I'm continually apologizing and explaining to people.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. It really is me, not you. |
Me too! The rest of my family has an amazing memory of where and when they saw someone even years later. Once I place the person, I can recall the conversation we had.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:58 am
It didn't hurt my feelings, we met like 2 years ago working on a program and don't live in the same neighborhood or go to the same places really so haven't seen each other since... was wondering if I should just pretend to be meeting her for the first time or mention where we met...
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amother
cornflower
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 11:59 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | It didn't hurt my feelings, we met like 2 years ago working on a program and don't live in the same neighborhood or go to the same places really so haven't seen each other since... was wondering if I should just pretend to be meeting her for the first time or mention where we met... |
Mention where you two met.
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simcha2
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 12:00 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | It didn't hurt my feelings, we met like 2 years ago working on a program and don't live in the same neighborhood or go to the same places really so haven't seen each other since... was wondering if I should just pretend to be meeting her for the first time or mention where we met... |
Definitely mention where you met.
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amother
Navy
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 12:26 pm
simcha2 wrote: | Could have been me (except I wasn't at a bar mitzvah this Shabbos). I suffer from mild facial blindness. I don't recognize anyone I don't know really well. I use cues to help. If you tell me your name I can normally place you. But visually, not a chance.
I'm continually apologizing and explaining to people.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. It really is me, not you. |
Me too!!!
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Iymnok
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 2:45 pm
Greet her in kind and remind her of your previous encounter.
I have a neighbor who has lived very close by for almost six years. I think she recognizes me. She is a very lovely lady, but just can’t remember me.
They will be honored that you remembered them from 2yrs ago.
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amother
Ginger
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 2:48 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | What's the best way to respond when you've already met someone, but they don't remember you?
I was at a bar mitzvah this Shabbos and saw someone I've met before but don't know well. Said Good Shabbos and so did she, and then she introduced herself clearly not knowing who I was. What would you say next? |
“Yes, I recall your name from when we met at the Cohens’ house two years’ ago, that was fun wasn’t it?” If someone said that to me, it would jog my memory and I would admit to having forgotten and apologize. I don’t see what the big deal is? 🤷🏻♀️
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ectomorph
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 3:23 pm
Me three. I am really bad with faces.
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Rappel
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 3:27 pm
I have a neighbor who is lovely, and to whom I've probably introduced myself 20 times. I was a little hurt during introductions 5 - 10, but I didn't think it was a big enough deal to mention it, and now I'm glad I didn't.
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nchr
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 5:07 pm
I'd just pretend I'm meeting her for thr first time too!
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mema613
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 6:29 pm
I also have trouble remembering faces! I don't understand movies well because I can't identify the characters once they have a different outfit on. When I taught, I memorized the students seats in the class.
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 6:36 pm
I just say, "I think we've met before at the school dinner. It's nice to meet up again"
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:16 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | I just say, "I think we've met before at the school dinner. It's nice to meet up again" |
I like this!
(What I did: just introduced myself and didn't mention that we'd met before, but then felt weird about it...)
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amother
Khaki
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:37 pm
mema613 wrote: | I also have trouble remembering faces! I don't understand movies well because I can't identify the characters once they have a different outfit on. When I taught, I memorized the students seats in the class. |
Yes!! Same!!! Sometimes I watch a movie again so I can actually enjoy it since it takes till the very end for me to differentiate the different faces. Can’t believe so many people suffer from face blindness like me.
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amother
Ivory
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:47 pm
In shul one shabbos morning, I stood in the hallway waiting for one of the men to come out so I could give my DH an important message. Finally someone showed up and I asked him to please give DH a message from me. He apologized and asked me for my name and where DH sits in the shul, cuz he said he has an illness which prevents him from recognizing faces even if he knows us well. So I guess it is more common than many of us realize.
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yksraya
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:50 pm
Could be it was someone else who resembles her. A sister, cousin or just plain anyone?
I once had someone tell me she is sure she met me somewhere. I never ever was in that place. I explained it must've been someone else. But she insisted she knows for sure it was I and that she even remembers which stroller I used.
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Yummymummy3
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Sun, Jun 02 2019, 7:58 pm
I have it too. It can be quite embarrassing. I met someone today at a Bar Mitzvah. She gave me a really nice hi and wave. I had to ask the person by my side who the friendly person was. It was someone that I met not long ago.
I usually just smile and play along as if I remember who I'm talking to and hope that she'll say something that'll trigger my memory. Small talk is the same with everyone. Ive met a lot of people that have this issue too. It's more common than I thought.
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