What is your Beis Medresh son doing Bein Hazmanim?

amother

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 3:32 pm

My son is coming back from Israel in middle of July from yeshiva. He is iy”h going back to Israel in September for another year of learning. He told me last week he was asked to join a learning program in a sleep way camp because they need some serious learners. Is this a normal thing for a boy to do in the summer? Should he get a job and work? He won’t be able to do youth core since he is coming home mid July. I am looking for input what people do with their sons. The camp is planning to charge us. My husband is also concerned that he won’t be spending time with him.

mirror

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 3:42 pm

Here is my question: How much time does your dh feel he needs to spend with your ds? Realistically, at this age the boys don't need their father to play ball with them.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 3:46 pm

My DS will be doing private construction work jobs. He already committed to two clients. However , he's not the type that would be able to sit and learn all day during his vacation. I think it's special that your DS is up to using his vacation for that. If that's what he really loves doing then maybe he should indeed do that. Is there a break between camp and yeshiva that your husband will have time to spend with him?

unexpected

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 5:07 pm

Ds came home last summer for ds2 bar mitzvah. He was home for 4 days and then ran off to camp for the rest of bein hazmanim. There was really nothing for him to do over here in the city...this year he is staying in EY for bein hazmanim

amother

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 5:22 pm

unexpected wrote:

He told us he wanted to get a job all along so I got him a ticket home. And he said he has no interest in sleep way camp. I would have left him in Israel if I knew that this was his intention.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 5:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am just wondering what everyone does when there kid comes home for 5-6 weeks and then goes back.

My nephew went to camp for 3 weeks. He had a good time and also got to learn part of the day. He spent time with family and they also shopped for what he needed to rest of the time.

amother

Sun, Jun 16 2019, 5:52 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

My nephew went to camp for 3 weeks. He had a good time and also got to learn part of the day. He spent time with family and they also shopped for what he needed to rest of the time.

Was he also staff in camp?

doctorima

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 3:57 am

If DH is so eager to spend time with him, he can offer to take him on a father/son trip somewhere. But realistically, that won't fill up the entire time, and I assume DH also has a job. DS could learn in a local beis medrash if there are enough local boys around, but he won't be happy being the only one there. He could try to get a job as a counselor at a camp, but otherwise, learning camp positions are definitely not uncommon for serious learners. May this be your biggest problem with him!

amother

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 4:57 am

doctorima wrote:

He was supposed to get a internship or a real job. He said he did not want to go to sleepway camp or work in camp anymore Pesach time. That is including day camp.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 5:30 am

Is he any good at handyman stuff, like hanging pictures or building Ikea furniture?

There's an organization in my area that proves services for single moms, and the schedule fills up faster than the need.

He could make good money advertising his services on FB. Doing basic lawn mowing and weed pulling can bring in income, too.

If he were in my area I'd hire him in a heartbeat. I need help!

amother

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 5:38 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

He is not good with handyman stuff and won’t do lawn mowing. He has high expectations for a job. And he wants to do something clean. He is a bright boy b”h. We just want him to learn some responsibility.
My husband is not planning on staying home from work to hang out with him.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 6:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No offense, but he sounds a bit entitled. Some physical work is good for him, and will make him a better husband. Even if he wants a career in law or politics, hard work never hurt anybody, and it builds character.

amother

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 6:20 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

This is why we are not crazy to let him go sit in learn in the summer while he was learning the entire year. He has to learn money does not grow on trees. My husband works hard for him to learn during the year and we give him all his spending money. He has some friends just doing road trips.

TranquilityAndPeace

Tue, Jun 18 2019, 6:39 am

One of my sons did a 2 week road trip with friends and a married rebbe in their Yeshiva to Virginia for 2 week last summer.

They all had jobs and things to bring. My sons job was to kasher the kitchen in the house they rented, and do the appropriate research for everything related to that.

This year I'm unsure what he'll be doing. I hope they organize a trip like that again, since he doesn't want to work in a camp.

My 18 year old is going to be a driver, Rebbe, and counselor in a local day camp that learns in the morning and goes in a trip each afternoon. He used to attend that camp.

My 17 year old is not in Bais Medrash, but has a full 8 weeks off for summer. He'll go to a low key day camp that learns and does sports for 4 weeks, and I'm a bit worried about the other 4 weeks. He had a bookbinding business and some friends who will also be home, so hoepfrily he will be busy enough.

Planning summers for older boys is tough!!!