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Summer vacation rant
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 3:39 pm
why is everyone making an assumption that burlywood suffers from infertility. I would think more likely she had a workaholic mother who she felt viewed her as a burden but really we are just making up stories about someone, don't see a point.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 4:09 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
Rationalize all you want. Just recognize you would never in a million years trade places with her. Orchid your response about her not understanding a houseful of boys just continues to demonstrate your lack of empathy.
Probably for her mental health she shouldn't be reading these threads. But guess what? When you have an empty life with nothing to fill it, you are desperate for something to distract you. So she comes on this site. So she reads these threads. You can't find it in your heart to fargin her pain?
Every minute of every day, she is suffering. You have no idea how difficult it is for her to get through the day. Think about that before you respond. The best response would be to say nothing. You can respond to other posters and give ideas or continue to vent without singling her out.

Just out of curiosity why are you only saying this to me? There were other posters who also stated that she was how shall I say it delicately- not nice. And you misquoted me- the boys are ones who need help- obviously you don’t have an understanding of other situations.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 5:13 pm
I responded to you because you quoted me.
And because of the way you addressed burlywood.
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iluvy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 6:26 pm
It kills me when people in chinuch look down their noses at my stressful-to-the-point-of-life-shortening exertions to cover the infinite days they feel the need to take off and say, "That's your problem." It really tempts me to go ahead and quit the job that allows us to pay full tuition and donate to the school on top of that. Then, like magic, it would become my kids' principals' problem! They can run around fundraising for their tuition, and I can spend blissful weeks baking cookies with my treasures. [My] problem solved!
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 6:47 pm
Its not the schools problem to be mchanech your kids. It always is yours- the parent- whether you work or bake cookies.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 7:21 pm
I'm going to get bashed for this but I'm going to say it anyway. I just want to say how hurtful this thread and the spinoff thread is to me as a teacher. My school has very little vacation time during the year. One Friday for chanukah and one week for winter break. Plus actual yontif time. We don't have days off school for teachers to have meetings. Those we have on our own time in the evenings or after school. I have no planning time at school. I do it all on my own time. Which, by the way, takes hours. I can spend up to three hours writing a newsletter each week, which multiple parents have admitted they don't read but for those who do I know they appreciate it. I'm not cleaning for pesach. I'm prepping all the pesach projects that parents expect to come home but can't be assembled during school time because I'm paying attention to your kids. Evenings I'm on the phone with parents trying to update them on successes of their children and concerns I have. And my summers? Spent cleaning the room, updating the room, and planning for next year. Many teachers work at camps. They need time to finish the school year and set up the camp and they need the time after camp to get ready for the school year.

The way many people speak of teachers on here makes us sound like babysitters and the entitlement on here is astounding. And I happen to know how difficult it is to get someone to watch your children for multiple days in a row. I've had to do it too and beg people and pay an arm and a leg and it's not fun. But to say the teachers are babysitters and don't need any time whatsoever is wrong. Especially after all the work we put in on our own unpaid time to help your children succeed. I really feel like quitting now of this is the attitude parents really have.
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rmf32




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 8:19 pm
Quote:
It kills me when people in chinuch look down their noses at my stressful-to-the-point-of-life-shortening exertions to cover the infinite days they feel the need to take off and say, "That's your problem." It really tempts me to go ahead and quit the job that allows us to pay full tuition and donate to the school on top of that. Then, like magic, it would become my kids' principals' problem! They can run around fundraising for their tuition, and I can spend blissful weeks baking cookies with my treasures. [My] problem solved!


I must say I find the tone in this thread regarding teachers to be very disconcerting. This us vs. them mentality is not my reality. In my mind, we are partners in your child’s chinuch and I don’t look down my nose at anyone, let alone my students’ parents. I sympathize greatly with working moms, after all, I am one. That being said, I’m not sure why people are taking issue with the teachers and their work schedule. I signed a contract that was agreeable to me and works for my family. I assume you do a job that is agreeable to you and works for your family. I think we can vent about the difficulties of finding child care during these off times without tearing each other down.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 8:39 pm
iluvy wrote:
It kills me when people in chinuch look down their noses at my stressful-to-the-point-of-life-shortening exertions to cover the infinite days they feel the need to take off and say, "That's your problem." It really tempts me to go ahead and quit the job that allows us to pay full tuition and donate to the school on top of that. Then, like magic, it would become my kids' principals' problem! They can run around fundraising for their tuition, and I can spend blissful weeks baking cookies with my treasures. [My] problem solved!


The schools have no obligation to take your kids if you don't pay tuition. Most people are not paying full tuition plus . That's probably less than 10% of the parent body. If schools were to add more days tuition would go up and people would complain about that. Schools also have a budget and the calendar doesn't come as a surprise, you have all year to plan for days off
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 8:49 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
I don't think the problem is the schools. The problem is that we need two parents working to support a family. I don't know how ppl do it. I chose to keep my kids home this summer in part due to the costs. It's cheaper for me to work less and pay less. I work betty pvery very part time (I'm chinuch).


The problem IS on very much on the schools, because of what's taught to our kids.

Here's my reasoning: (I've copied and pasted below a response I wrote on another thread.)

Our schools & yeshivas teach our kids that the men should be in Kollel for as long as possible, deny those very young men any parnassoh skills, the wives should work full time while having as many kids as possible, eventually marry off their children & support them in kollel too, etc - and those very institutions in their very own communities should turn a blind eye and have zero responsibilities to the resulting hardships they support and encourage.

So let's pretend that these many poor young women who don't come from wealthy homes, and who are struggling to live up to the ideals that they've been taught, have themselves only to blame for not being able to manage their lives. Let's pretend that they're weak and are flawed and are in the wrong to expect that the communal institutions should at least attempt to work with them so they can hold their heads above water. Let's pretend that their numbers are very few and it's the wealthy & lucky few who are actually in the majority. Let's pretend so very righteously how its the poor teachers, rebbeim and principals that are the only truly overworked ones, and its encumbered on all of us to stretch ourselves beyond our human limits to cater to them. And let's pretend that the schools and yeshiva have no responsibilities & obligations to the parents & society, and its only the parents & children who owe the schools their entire lives.
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 9:01 pm
maybe its the community leaders job to figure out a solution?
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 9:52 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Feel free to kvetch along with me...

School ends June 19/20
Day camp starts July 1
Day camp ends Aug 22
School starts after labor day, so probably around September 3

You following me?
There are approximately 11 days each before and after day camp... We are paying an arm and a leg for tuition and day camp. School should end closer to the end of June and day camp should end closer to the end of August. Don't start telling me people need to go to the country bla bla bla. The world should not revolve around the country.

Thanks for listening.


I didn't read the whole thread. While I understand it's extremely hard for all mothers, please do take a moment and picture yourself in your child's position. Every child looks forward to the off days from school. And if we really look at what benefits the child, it IS better for them to have all these "off" days. Our children are so burdened with school work. Let them breath!

I'm saying this as a mother of a large family.
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 9:54 pm
forgetit wrote:
Nopes, she spends Fri, Shabbos, Sun + after camp hours with her kids. That's plenty time. Most kids don't WANT this unstructured time inbetween. 2-3 days is nice, but not 11.

BTW, I pay tuition for 10 full months. I do not get full service for 10 months.
Of those, we have plenty of Yomim Tovim, fast days, mid winter, Chanuka, Sundays, and half day Fridays off PLUS a week off before Pesach. Don't ask me why.
I actually don't mind all of it, because my kids are old enough for me to leave alone when I go to work, and when they have school I need to nudge them a bit to get up on time and do homework when they get home, so maybe this is easier for me, but I remember when they were young and childcare was really tough.
You pay tuition for the year, and it's broken up over 10 months. The school never claimed to be providing services the entire June. No schools go until the end of June here- it's not expected.

I understand that it can be overwhelming to be home with the kids for so long, because kids get bored with no structure.

However, the schools have no obligation to be open all year so that you never have to see your children except weekends and evenings. You're the mom.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 10:08 pm
Op here, oh my, I definitely did not plan on causing such arguments... I'm sorry if anyone is offended.

I understand that there needs to be time between school and day camp, but a week is plenty. They can make it work if they really needed to. Kids can use time off, but again, a week is plenty. And this is after having so many days off for Yom tov, shabbosim, Sundays...

Also, while I'm at it, what is up with the half a day on the last day of school? I never had it growing up...

I think that if all the parents call the school and ask why ending so early in June, they may add a few more days next year. And to all the teachers on here, sorry if you feel it's too much, but a few more days of teaching is not the end of the world. Unless you really just need the time to pack up your families to go to the "country".
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 11:40 pm
notshanarishona wrote:
Schools are required to have a certain amount of school days a year , typically around 180 but it varies by the state . Schools are not babysitting services , their job is to give an education, once the curriculum / days of school have been completed that's the job for the year .
That being said, I do find it interesting that whole most sleep away camps / camps in the country run for 8 weeks , many have started running for 6. It's a bigger service to run for the whole summer and would make a lot of people happier.


We had 164 school days this year. I really feel like my kids are learning nothing, and now I have a full FIVE weeks of vacation until school starts.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 11:41 pm
I don't know what state you are in, but as far as I know, most states mandate 180 days for a school year.
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 11:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Op here, oh my, I definitely did not plan on causing such arguments... I'm sorry if anyone is offended.

I understand that there needs to be time between school and day camp, but a week is plenty. They can make it work if they really needed to. Kids can use time off, but again, a week is plenty. And this is after having so many days off for Yom tov, shabbosim, Sundays...

Also, while I'm at it, what is up with the half a day on the last day of school? I never had it growing up...

I think that if all the parents call the school and ask why ending so early in June, they may add a few more days next year. And to all the teachers on here, sorry if you feel it's too much, but a few more days of teaching is not the end of the world. Unless you really just need the time to pack up your families to go to the "country".


you dont like what your kids school offers and the amount of days they give off for yom tov shabbos sundays (sorry that just made me laugh- doesnt every frum person in the world celebrate yom tov shabbos? Not sure why you count that as a "day off") then find a different school. you chose to send to that school- it was your choice.
when I choose a photographer I dont hire him and then complain why cant he offer me longer hours after the fact...after all I pay him a fortune....
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sun, Jun 16 2019, 11:58 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
I don't know what state you are in, but as far as I know, most states mandate 180 days for a school year.


I've counted a bunch of times. My only guess is that the schools are counting the boys schooling on Sundays (half days, along with the half days of session erev Shavuos, etc), because my daughter is definitely not getting 180 days of school.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2019, 12:04 am
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
I'm going to get bashed for this but I'm going to say it anyway. I just want to say how hurtful this thread and the spinoff thread is to me as a teacher. My school has very little vacation time during the year. One Friday for chanukah and one week for winter break. Plus actual yontif time. We don't have days off school for teachers to have meetings. Those we have on our own time in the evenings or after school. I have no planning time at school. I do it all on my own time. Which, by the way, takes hours. I can spend up to three hours writing a newsletter each week, which multiple parents have admitted they don't read but for those who do I know they appreciate it. I'm not cleaning for pesach. I'm prepping all the pesach projects that parents expect to come home but can't be assembled during school time because I'm paying attention to your kids. Evenings I'm on the phone with parents trying to update them on successes of their children and concerns I have. And my summers? Spent cleaning the room, updating the room, and planning for next year. Many teachers work at camps. They need time to finish the school year and set up the camp and they need the time after camp to get ready for the school year.

The way many people speak of teachers on here makes us sound like babysitters and the entitlement on here is astounding. And I happen to know how difficult it is to get someone to watch your children for multiple days in a row. I've had to do it too and beg people and pay an arm and a leg and it's not fun. But to say the teachers are babysitters and don't need any time whatsoever is wrong. Especially after all the work we put in on our own unpaid time to help your children succeed. I really feel like quitting now of this is the attitude parents really have.


If you're a teacher, please tell me you have thicker skin than this. You won't last otherwise.

I was a teacher and I absolutely believe that it is an extremely difficult job. And yet, I do think that schools have an absurd bunch of time off that shouldn't be happening.

My husband and I both work in the health field, and guess what? You're not unique. Our weekends are spent working. Nights spent working. We work a LOT, and then we're somehow supposed to simultaneously pay full tuition, fundraise hundreds of thousands of dollars (with loads of guilt-trip-inducing phone calls to us for getting more) on top of that, and then look away when schools have off for Jewish holidays AND secular holidays and have a ton of vacation time in the summer.

My dream would be to quit and be Camp Mommy in the summer. I love my children and I desperately miss spending time with them! But alas, we live in an adult world where adults need to make money for all this tuition that is now surpassing $70,000 for four children. Is it really too much to ask that for all that money, I don't ALSO have to spend for camp after camp for the four weeks we have off? (Five?)
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2019, 7:49 am
The last day is a half day typically because there is almost no learning going on. It's a day for cleaning up, sending home supplies, etc and there is little structure left by this point. The kids are all excited and hyper for vacation and you have already done all of the end of year assessments by then.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Mon, Jun 17 2019, 9:01 am
I didn't read all the posts but we working moms forgot something very basic.
Schools were never created to be our child's babysitting service.
Schools are there to educate our children.
Every child benefits from down time. ( Yes, even the ones who's mom say , " but they neeeed structure;)
To take away that downtime from our children would be a terrible disservice.
If possible to take off those days and spend the day together with your child that is obviously ideal. ( yes, not always is what is ideal is practical)
Embrace those 11 days. Childhood is very short.
Paint together.
Read together.
Bake together
Splash in the rain together.
Plant seeds together.
Laugh together.
Hug together.
Play together.
Enjoy the moment together Cool
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