Moving to monsey | Imamother

amother

Lavender

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:13 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

I am assuming in a MO community, no one is settling when they send to more modern schools. They want better secular education or more sports or whatever.

And here? Isn't Monsey a mix of communities?
What are these families settling for according to you?
In other words, do the families that send there also feel that they are settling for less?

amother

Coral

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:13 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

The posters answering this thread are typically assuming things that aren't true. I respect MO people. I don't have a problem sending to an MO school that isn't a catch basin. The dynamics of Monsey are different than other nearby places like Teaneck.

Besides serving more modern people, the schools serve a population that don't fit in the more RW schools for a variety of reasons.

Many troubled kids often cycle through the schools. When the more RW schools ask the kids to leave, this is where they end up before public schools.

The problem is that you're talking about a handful of kids in these schools as if they were the majority. Truth alert here: they AREN'T!

And most JPF parents don't have the fear of "influences" like many righ wing parents. We deliberately expose our children to different ideas and different types of people to help them learn how to interact in a normal world. "That's what they do/believe, thats for them, this is what WE do/believe/how we talk and you should be proud of it without looking down on others who are different than you." That's a typical conversation I have with my children.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:16 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

That's intresting.
I haven't thought of it this way.
Are you saying Monsey typically has a higher percentage of troubled families than any other nearby places?

amother

Coral

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:19 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

That's intresting.
I haven't thought of it this way.
Are you saying Monsey typically has a higher percentage of troubled families than any other nearby places?

NO. This poster is obviously part of a more RW community who looks down on anyone who isn't exactly like them

amother

Blue

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:22 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

That's intresting.
I haven't thought of it this way.
Are you saying Monsey typically has a higher percentage of troubled families than any other nearby places?

I’m finding monsey has a lot of rebels and they don’t belong in the MO community cause they are rebellious verses the MO brought up like that are very frum even if they don’t wear stockings. I follow some rebels on instagram that send to some of the MO schools and the women look like sluts with clevage showing etc. the rebels are so trying to be people that they aren’t and they stand out verses the MO have values and principals.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:22 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

NO. This poster is obviously part of a more RW community who looks down on anyone who isn't exactly like them

Ok so I guess we have to clarify this.

OP what type of responses are you looking for? Are you RW JPF Modern Chassidish or Litvish?

I think you'll get more productive responses with a little more clarifying info.

Good luck with the move! Smile

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:22 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Your problem seems to be that you view anyone who would send to these schools as "lesser" in their yiddishkeit. You are not realizing that most are people who are following a perfectly valid derech, albeit probably different than yours. Not "going downhill" in our observance. Some of us have roots in Monsey that go back a few generations before the community skewed Chassidic with the influx from the city. And others moved here to join the thriving JPF community here.

Another poster assuming things about me. I don't veiw modern people as lesser. That's your own inferiority complex. I veiw kids HS kids who are doing drugs and/or having relations and/or disrespectful as undesirable peers. This has nothing to do with derech. It's the dynamics here.

The kids who were asked to leave RW elementary schools or not admitted are the troubled teens of today. Ym

Anyway, OP I warned you. Hatzloucha.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 10:26 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Good food for thought.

I know that Monsey is a runaway place but I didn't realize that
1. they have such a large representation there and
2. I also didn't know that they can be easily confused with regular JPFs from Wesley Hills.

It's confusing because it's not the same thing.

amother

Mint

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 11:01 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

My delicious 4 year old was not accepted to kindergarten in the popular schools. We are JFP. 'There is no room' is the answer we got. We are not modern, we are not flashy, we are regular queit frum people. We ended up getting in to one of the schools mentioned above. I think there are more people in the same situation as me. Good people, who for no other reason than this is clearly what Hashem wants, didn't get into the schools of our choice and so are in the more out of the box schools.

gold21

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 11:12 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

So, yeah, Monsey has a very chassidish element, and oftentimes when a person "goes off" the chassidish derech, they have a hard time integrating into a more open-minded lifestyle, and striking that healthy balance between "I'm dropping the chumras but still following basic halacha" and "I'm confused between chumrah and halacha and having a hard time differentiating, and therefore am dropping some of both."

Quite different than someone who was raised a certain way and continues in that derech, as such a person is blessed to have clarity on what's important to them and what their values are. There's simply less confusion and less blurred lines.

Last edited by gold21 on Sun, Jun 23 2019, 11:23 am; edited 1 time in total

naturalmom5

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 11:22 am

amother [ Mint ] wrote:

And trust me, in a few years you will see that your children are 1000x better off where they are than the baali gaiva schools
You should only have nachas from them

amother

Mint

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 11:34 am

naturalmom5 wrote:

And trust me, in a few years you will see that your children are 1000x better off where they are than the baali gaiva schools
You should only have nachas from them

Amen. I hope so.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Jun 24 2019, 4:30 pm

[quote="amother [ Cobalt ]
The kids who were asked to leave RW elementary schools or not admitted are the troubled teens of today.[/quote]
(Edited because of LH)

Yes if a kid is not in a school it's a problem, but the reason why a kid is not accepted to a school, usually is something about the parents not because of the kid. BTW, with your thinking it should not be OTD kids from RW schools, is it so?

If you are sending your DC to any of the extreme RW schools, look at the mirror and ask yourself; did I do the best for my kids sake, for his future by sending him to a school system that has a 25% off the derech kids. Did I do the right thing to ensure Yiddishkeit for my child.

little neshamala

Mon, Jun 24 2019, 5:20 pm

OP, please keep in mind that monsey is HUGMONGOUS and there is no "type". There are a kabillion different communities and types, and a bajillion different neighborhoods. Living in monsey is like living in america.

I recommend you look into wesley hills, pomona, new city, new hempstead (old area and newer) for starters