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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
“what are some status items my teenage girl should bring to
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 8:17 am
First time dd 12yrs attending skeepaway camp.
Please fill me in... want her to fit in well- socially

TIA
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 8:24 am
She should bring along her smile and confidence and positive outlook. A real winner!
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 8:28 am
Please don't feed into this craziness!
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 8:29 am
Cute linen (can be cheap from target)
A collage of her family
A canvas fold up chair for outside
Nice pjs (not just an old tee shirt...)
Short rain boots
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 8:32 am
Very expensive designer outfits for Shabbos
Be prepared that she may not bring half of them home
It's only money Very Happy
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:11 am
Thank you superwify
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:17 am
On a societal level, materialistic trends are very concerning, but if your child has trouble fitting in, don't sacrifice her social standing to your idealism.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:19 am
ectomorph wrote:
Please don't feed into this craziness!


Camp is a special kind of bubble.

It would be shame for a 12 year old to have to spend 3-4 weeks learning how to deal with not having what the other 11 kids in the bunk have - when having those things is very doable if you have the knowledge up front. We aren't talking about spending $200 on a tshirt.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:20 am
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
On a societal level, materialistic trends are very concerning, but if your child has trouble fitting in, don't sacrifice her social standing to your idealism.

No one is suggesting that you send your kids to camp with ragged, stained clothing to be less materialistic.

However, designer clothing, which only a small number of people can afford, cannot be allowed to become the new normal
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:20 am
The problem is exactly that that everyone wants to fit in.
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Queen6




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:21 am
OP I'm sad for you Sad
ShishKabob; what camp do you send to I want my daughters to be friends with yours as they probably are the most popular at the end of the day...
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:21 am
ectomorph wrote:
No one is suggesting that you send your kids to camp with ragged, stained clothing to be less materialistic.

However, designer clothing, which only a small number of people can afford, cannot be allowed to become the new normal


That's not the kind of stuff OP is asking about.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:22 am
ectomorph wrote:
The problem is exactly that that everyone wants to fit in.


Did you do sleepover camp?
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:23 am
ectomorph wrote:
The problem is exactly that that everyone wants to fit in.

If the mother is asking other women, it means the daughter isn't begging for this stuff.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:27 am
Each camp has its own shtick, so you should really ask other moms who are sending to the same place.

My 11 year old thankfully marches to the beat of her own drummer. She did ask for a chair because it was useful, but she's using old linen and towels from my parent's house so I didn't have to buy new just for camp. She has a new sleeping bag though. She's not into cutesy stuff so we avoided all those extras.
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gamanit




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:29 am
I think it is good to find out what other girls are getting. You can get towards the lower end of the range but you should be within range. Societal trends need to be changed slowly with time.

For example you can send your daughter with clean shirts in the general style that everyone else is wearing but from a cheaper brand. You send a canvas chair but the $5 camping type, not anything expensive. She shouldn't be very different from everyone (in the opposite aspect as well; if everyone is wearing cheap clothes she shouldn't be wearing very expensive ones).

Since camps vary so much from one another try to talk to some other parents sending to the same camp.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:29 am
If you want to send to a camp that doesnt have any of this craziness send to camp sternberg. Its a wide variety of girls, so if you cant handle your daughter beng "exposed" to sliiiightly more modern girls then I guess you'll have to miss out. But there is really no focus on cute linen and a canvas folding chair. The "shtick" people tend to focus on is good snacks, and fun attitudes.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:39 am
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
If the mother is asking other women, it means the daughter isn't begging for this stuff.


Because the daughter hasnt been there yet! I went to camp for the first time from deep oot and didn't have anything everyone else had. By the next year I was able to ask my mother for specifics. I for sure would have appreciated if my mother found out before the first year for me.
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meme6




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:40 am
A big nosh box!
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 25 2019, 9:42 am
gamanit wrote:
I think it is good to find out what other girls are getting. You can get towards the lower end of the range but you should be within range. Societal trends need to be changed slowly with time.

For example you can send your daughter with clean shirts in the general style that everyone else is wearing but from a cheaper brand. You send a canvas chair but the $5 camping type, not anything expensive. She shouldn't be very different from everyone (in the opposite aspect as well; if everyone is wearing cheap clothes she shouldn't be wearing very expensive ones).

Since camps vary so much from one another try to talk to some other parents sending to the same camp.

I agree with this.

To be honest, I went to camp one year, did not enjoy, and worked the rest of my teenage years.
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