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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
What no one told me about becoming a mom is...
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rachel0615




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 12:29 am
?
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 12:42 am
How freakin hard it is bh
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 12:49 am
People and the internet told me everything. It’s just one of those things you have to experience to truly get , reading and listening isn’t enough. But actually I guess most things in life are like that
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 12:54 am
That I would be soooooooooooo tired.
I’ll probably be tired for the rest of my life....
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:07 am
That they can poop on you, pee on you, projectile vomit, scream your head off, give you thrush, not let you take a shower, eat or a chance to change into clean cloths - post messup.
But all they have to do is give you one smile! And they are forgiven.

With my first few kids I had undiagnosed ppd. (I realized that in therapy a few years later.)

Bh now with this one, it still is HARD. Newborns are hard. Especially colic ones.
But they are so beautiful, so precious and magical and yummy. Absolutely Devine! All he has to do is smile at me. Just one smile.

And now I have to go to bed cuz he's finally asleep!!!! Bh!!!!
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 1:40 am
That all the books and so-called experts are liars. Nothing they say works for all parents and all kids. There is no secret solution to anything. Not all children can be on schedules, or be sleep trained, or have a set bedtime routine, etc etc etc. It may work for your kid, but it does not work for every kid. Parents have to stop feeling obligated to get their kids on schedules/sleep trained/whatever it is, so we can stop feeling like failures for not succeeding in what the "experts" say we should be doing, and so we can get busy figuring out what DOES work for us and our kid/s.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 4:59 am
How much I'd love it! People seem to like to warn me about the difficult parts, but I can handle it!

One difficult part no one warned me about: my daughter went through a looong stage about 6 months - 18 months where she would bump her head really really hard into either my nose or my lips, about every day. Accidentally of course, and it didn't bother her because my nose and lips are soft and her head is hard!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 5:14 am
You will go into parenting with a plan. You know your parenting "style", because you've read every book on the planet.

As soon as your baby is born, they will throw all of that right out the window.

Every child is unique, and you have to let them lead the way and teach you as you go. (For example, DD despised baby-wearing in all forms. There was not a single sling or back pack that she would tolerate. I spent a fortune, and ended up passing them on to other parents.)
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Tzutzie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 5:14 am
Teomima wrote:
That all the books and so-called experts are liars. Nothing they say works for all parents and all kids. There is no secret solution to anything. Not all children can be on schedules, or be sleep trained, or have a set bedtime routine, etc etc etc. It may work for your kid, but it does not work for every kid. Parents have to stop feeling obligated to get their kids on schedules/sleep trained/whatever it is, so we can stop feeling like failures for not succeeding in what the "experts" say we should be doing, and so we can get busy figuring out what DOES work for us and our kid/s.


^^^^^^^^ Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

And in this vain.... how I'd learn to trust myself and how a mother always needs to trust her gut. So important.
So far I was always right when I went with what my gut told me.
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wellaways




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 5:21 am
Teomima wrote:
That all the books and so-called experts are liars. Nothing they say works for all parents and all kids. There is no secret solution to anything. Not all children can be on schedules, or be sleep trained, or have a set bedtime routine, etc etc etc. It may work for your kid, but it does not work for every kid. Parents have to stop feeling obligated to get their kids on schedules/sleep trained/whatever it is, so we can stop feeling like failures for not succeeding in what the "experts" say we should be doing, and so we can get busy figuring out what DOES work for us and our kid/s.


This x100000000.
Babies are so weird and change so quickly there is literally no possible way any "expert" could keep up with it all.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 5:44 am
Just how badly our whole beautiful loving family would crash with the arrival of teenagehood 😫

However op just enjoy the baby years. They fly away. And I know the teenage years will fly away as well.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 6:33 am
All I want is a trip to the bathroom with no constant knocking and "mommy?"s
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:14 am
To not listen to other people if you know what you're doing is best for your baby or yourself. From the people who work hard to get you to nurse and not formula feed because it's best for baby.
Yes, it's the very best for baby but sometimes it's not the best for mom and mom's patience and comfort and nerves level. I had someone call me to wish me a mazel tov after my first baby and then take the conversation in a different direction to convince me to nurse. Did I ask you? Nooooooooo. I always cut her off mid sentence and say: yes, you're right, gotta go to the baby, thanks for calling, goodbye.
Or those people who try to convince you to do everything naturally. As the saying goes: mother knows best. I am the baby's mother and I will do what I think is best.

And then there are those who swear by their doc and the doc you chose for your baby isn't good.

It came to a point where I would say uh huh, thanks for the advice, goodbye.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:19 am
Whatever you imagine parenting to be like, it will not be like that. It will be more wonderful and more terrible at the same time.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:30 am
How hard it is.
How tired you will always be.
How much of becoming a good parent is just working on your own midos (patience, anger etc).
How joyful it is.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:33 am
That my super confident toddlers will loose almost all their confidence when they grow up. Making them feel self confident is a task of a lifetime.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:42 am
What nobody told me was that just to become a mother would be so difficult.
That some are very lucky that it happens easily. But that for others, its a hard long journey TO motherhood
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Israeli_C




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:47 am
Nobody told me that becoming a mom would be the tikkun I needed for my own childhood. My mom was a workaholic, never came to anything in school or extra curricular performances etc. Today I went to see my 3 year old's end of year performance in gan and I cried for nearly the whole thing! So moving to see how she sought me out in the crowd of parents and gave me the hugest smile when she found me.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 7:55 am
That you need to make sure the stretchy liner of the diaper is properly placed or else you’ll have huge blowouts! (I learned that one real quick!!!)

I agree with these posts. You need to experience it yourself to really understand and know how it’ll affect you personally. Motherhood is the most rewarding, awesome thing for me. It’s the only role in my entire life that I’ve instinctively known how to be and truly love. (Yes there are the frustrating moments when I want to run away to a distant island and eat an ice cream sandwich in peace, but that’s par for the course!) I love my kids and actually really enjoy spending time with them.

Oh, and the terrible twos are not so terrible (at least in my world). I was happy to discover that. Toddlers are awesome people!! But then again I’m one of the rare people who enjoy the toddler phase more than the infant phase.
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Tzutzie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 26 2019, 8:14 am
Kiwi13 wrote:
That you need to make sure the stretchy liner of the diaper is properly placed or else you’ll have huge blowouts! (I learned that one real quick!!!)

I agree with these posts. You need to experience it yourself to really understand and know how it’ll affect you personally. Motherhood is the most rewarding, awesome thing for me. It’s the only role in my entire life that I’ve instinctively known how to be and truly love. (Yes there are the frustrating moments when I want to run away to a distant island and eat an ice cream sandwich in peace, but that’s par for the course!) I love my kids and actually really enjoy spending time with them.

Oh, and the terrible twos are not so terrible (at least in my world). I was happy to discover that. Toddlers are awesome people!! But then again I’m one of the rare people who enjoy the toddler phase more than the infant phase.


Wait till they turn 4. I find the 4-6 yo stage the hardest. My 6 year of its really forming into a little person bh! I felt like this stage will never pass....
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