What percentage would you say is stress, raising children

Raisin

Wed, Jun 12 2019, 4:57 pm

Newborns= I personally love this stage so its 100% joy and nachas. Maybe 5% stress if baby is colicy. Having older kids makes this stage more stressful.
During toilet training=100% stress
toddlerhood in general=probably 50% stress. But they sleep!
5-10 = depending on kid= maybe 10% stress
11+=stress levels rise, again depending on kid.
shidduchim=lets not think about that.

Money would help in almost all cases. Also, spacing kids, learning parenting strategies in general is less stressful.

Some people are just more relaxed. My friend watches her kids play and is convinced they are about to break all their limbs. I never think this way.

Working is also stressful, but most people consder it worth it, and not just for financial reasons.

amother

Pink

Wed, Jun 12 2019, 4:58 pm

leah233 wrote:

She can feel however she wants about her experience and which age child is easier.

I was only referring to her use of that expression

Something that is the normal way of the world is not usually considered a problem . Even if it is very inconvenient and a big downside to doing something.

A problem is an abnormal situation, that doesn't resolve itself preventing you from achieving something.

The expression" little children little problems, bigger children bigger problems" is referring to the unwanted difficulties that spring up with child rearing.Not standard issues that everyone faces.

Those who use it would not see having a two year old with a serious illness very different than a having a teenager with a serious illness.

They use it in the following context:

A healthy teenager is almost always physically easier than a healthy baby. The question is which is emotionally easier. A bigger child can cause a lot more emotional pain and a lot more serious issues with no known resolution than a little child can.

That is what the expression " little children little problems, bigger children bigger problems" refers to.

Please re-read her post more carefully. She stated that possible experiences vary widely. She called this expression "conventional wisdom" and said that nonethless her experience was opposite. And there is more "way of the world" wisdom that states that problems are specific to individual strengths and weaknesses and what one person experiences as tramendously challanging might be easy for another. And more wisdom, that this amother clearly recognizes, that every blanket statement in theory has its contradictions in reality. Hence this mother's experience of sleep deprivation as more problematic than parenting teenagers.

amother

Mint

Wed, Jun 12 2019, 8:15 pm

My son is 75 percent stress and 25 percent nachas. My daughter is 10 percent stress and 90 percent nachas. I love being a mother to both. I really believe every child and every stage is it's own package.

I have to just say you must be doing something right if your daughter thinks having a ton of kids is loads of fun 😀