Neighbor parking in my driveway - vent

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:24 pm

obviously do not do anything illegal - focus on what he is doing and deal with it within legal means

amother

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:30 pm

Orchid wrote:

Aaaah ok. Well if you're friends with them, and you already spoke to the wife, what did she say? If both husband and wife neighbor are blowing it off, I'm not so sure you should maintain this relationship. Obviously that's a decision only you can make. But if you decide that you don't want to break up the relationship over this, you're just going to have to accept them parking in your driveway. I personally would break off the relationship because their behavior is so obnoxious but thats just me. Obviously you may decide differently. Best of luck with this.

She said they parked there because they were coming home late. She was home when I rang the bell telling him to move.

It's more I am friends with with her mom and her father is friends with DH. We are cordial to them.

I can't understand why he keeps doing this. I showed him all my dings and politely explained that even though it looks like plenty of room, I am not comfortable. Can someone really be that lazy?

SixOfWands

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes.

So, go about it a different way. Tell him that you're willing to discuss him leasing a space in your driveway for the piddly sum of $250 a month.

amother

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:39 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Can you put a retractable gate to block your driveway off? We are making a parking space behind our house and DH wants to get a retractable fence that you can open and close when you want to pull in and out.

I would have to fence in my property. It's really sad that you have to put a gate on a parking spot behind your house. OTOH, I never thought someone would park on my lawn. When DH told me this, I never imagined he made his own driveway on my lawn. I thought maybe one side of his car.

I can't understand this type of thinking.

mha3484

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:41 pm

No we want it so the kids cant run in the alley. I dont want a safety hazard if the car is not parked there. I just thought the idea might work for you.

amother

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 4:48 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Yes.

So, go about it a different way. Tell him that you're willing to discuss him leasing a space in your driveway for the piddly sum of $250 a month.

I am giving this idea serious thought and will discuss with DH. He seems to like parking in my driveway.

Orchid

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 6:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's not laziness, they're just completely walking all over you because you're letting them. If you're not really friends with them, but friends with the family I would not think this is a relationship worth preserving. I would escalate it and take legal action after telling them you will do so.

amother

Cyan

Fri, Jun 28 2019, 7:44 pm

I had a complete stranger park in MY driveway blocking my car for a half hour. My DH was able to pull into the driveway at an angle, blocking that car in. When They came ringing the doorbell, my DH was conveniently in shul with his car keys. They threatened to call the cops. I told them to go for it. I had to cancel something, cuz I couldnt get out of my own driveway. They yelled at my DH for having the chutzpah to go to shul for half an hour, while blocking them in.

FranticFrummie

Sat, Jun 29 2019, 5:10 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

https://www.amazon.com/Parking-Violation-Stickers-Fluorescent-Yellow/dp/B07BMGN2SS/ref=sr_1_10?keywords=sticky+car+stickers&qid=1561736264&s=gateway&sr=8-10

You need these. When he gets mad, play dumb and tell him that you just put it as a reminder, and you didn't realize they'd be so annoying to remove.

THIS

debsey

Sat, Jun 29 2019, 11:48 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I used to live in a condominium complex in Lakewood, where all of the land in the complex, including the street, is privately owned by the owners. That means outsiders are not allowed to park in the street there (not that there's a ton of room) to make it safer and a better quality life for the residents.

We (the board of the development) had an issue with a guy who would park his car there for the day, because it was conveniently located for him. We asked him not do so, and he thumbed his nose at us (literally), like "try and stop me." We asked a shailah (he was a frum guy) from Rabbi Forsheimer, one of Lakewood's foremost Poskim, and were told that what he's doing is gezailah, and we should first warn him, and then have him towed if he does not take the warning seriously.

We warned him and of course he didn't dream we'd do it...so we went to step B and had him towed. He called the secretary and practically cursed her out, and shouted and threatened every legal and Bais Din action you can think of, none of which came to fruition of course since it held no water....

He never did it again, though. Guess he realized it would be pretty expensive.

I've also heard the idea of getting really sticky stickers....I think it's a great idea. Warn him first that you will be taking action. If you wish, ask your LOR, and then tell him that you have asked a shailah and if he does it again you will take action (so he knows he can't threaten Bais Din or anything.)

Chayalle- I lived in a development once and my house was very close to a shul. One night, after 9 PM, I was running out to an emergency (one of my kids was at a sleepover and got hurt, and I was meeting the parents who hosted him at a doctor's office). I backed out my car, and I didn't notice - someone with a black SUV had completely blocked my driveway. I had backed completely into him without seeing his car!

He took us to beis din and I was sure I wouldn't have to pay a penny, but they said that since it's normal to check for obstructions before you pull out, and I couldn't say with 100% certainty that I had looked, I was responsible for 50% of the damages.

I definitely did look behind me when I was backing out, but I think when your brain doesn't expect to see something (and the car was black, and it was night) it just kind of doesn't register. Like all I saw was black, which makes sense - it was dark and quiet on the block.

What got me upset was how angry the man was at beis din, screaming at me that if I'm so irresponsible, I shouldn't drive. Hello, you made the choice to just block someone's driveway - who is the irresponsible person here???????

Anyway, beis din said that I wasn't really responsible but they strongly recommended that for "darchey shalom" we do a "pshara" and pay 50% so we did, but I'm still upset about that story to this day.

My point, though, is that you do have to ask your LOR - it would be terrible if you put a sticker, and he took you to bais din, and you found out that you have to pay him. Adding insult to injury. Ask a shayla first.

amother

Scarlet

Sat, Jun 29 2019, 11:55 pm

you and DH are friends with their parents?
id tell them meaning the parents - as in I'm concerned I'm going to cause damage to their kids' car...
and if nothing changes
id be nice about it and
id fence it in v zeh hu

their son in law is just doing what he wants what is convenient for himself

obviously he is not going to make a change if you talk to him, you've already done that

so its either live with it or enforce the change

amother

White

Sun, Jun 30 2019, 12:10 am

Look op, What it comes down to is that to genuinely resolve this problem, you are going to have to leave your comfort zone and do something that you really wish you didn't have to. Putting on a sticker, calling a towing company, somehow blocking their car in and leaving for a few hours.....something a little nasty. It's unfortunate, but seems necessary.