Family of 5 in one bedroom

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 3:30 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

3 siblings in 1 room is nothing remotely like the experiences many posters here were referencing.
But even so...would you be ok sending your daughter to a sleepover at a friend's house who has a teenage brother sleeping in the same room? How old were you all when you had that sleepover. I'm betting quite young.

No I would not be okay with it.
I was 8 years old and my parents were not frum. The brother was around 13. BH nothing bad happened. I was not commenting on the unwise decision - just on the fact that it did not feel overcrowded.
I would make a different decision with my daughter obviously due to tznius boundaries.

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 6:38 pm

pesek zman wrote:

Come to manhattan!!! Among all the rich families are families holding on for as long as we can! More of something means less of something else: in my case more space would mean less time (longer commute) and less money (higher expensive) Moving out of the area would mean more space, more money but (much less) contact with family, less culture, less diversity: all of which I think are important. Life is all about give and take

But would you really stay in a studio with more than one child?

amother

Seagreen

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 11:10 pm

Op, none of us can tell you what do to. But if you’re looking for chizuk- were in a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apt. 4 kids and a nurse 24/7. Many of my neighbors in same or bit smaller apt with 5 kids. We’re all happy and kids are fine. That said, kids are younger. Would be different with teens as they need more personal space plus their stuff will take up more room.
Right now we’re managing by having split our bedroom. 3 kids in one room on toddler bunkbed and pack n play. 1 kid in dining room that was split. We have a nice size foyer so that’s the “playroom”. Bh plenty closet space so when im on top of things we can stay nice and organized.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 11:34 pm

Did op mention how old her kids are? I’ve only did it when my kids were very young, but 3 kids in the 1 bedroom apt was completely doable for us. Space management is major, but with clever design it really can be done, and if they’re young enough they really don’t know any different. Also, you have to have ample room to play outdoors, and easy access to other places to play, like other neighbors apts, or if this is under your parents’ house then the ability to play out there too.

There are lots of creative ways to use drywall, curtains on ceiling tracks, bookshelves and other sizable furniture, hooks and corners that often go overlooked, but are valuable to the super-space saving population.

If the question is whether to have another child or not, I wouldn’t consider space in the apt to be the defining factor in the decision.

amother

Gray

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 11:47 am

We’re 5 kids and 2 adults in a 1 bdrm. I didn’t think it was soooo bad since I have met families of 7 kids in a 1 bdrm. I always joked that we should publish a “survival guide”.

A few points.
1. Ages and genders of kids make a diff. Girls take up more “space” than boys. Older need more space than younger

2. A lot of kids attitude depends on how u as a parent feel about it. As long as we were positive the kids never felt like we were lacking. It’s hard but just saying

3. We need endless amount of dumping. For every purchase something has to get dumped

4. We occasionally use neighbors bathrooms when bathroom emergencies arise

5. We always have kids over and have hosted many sleepovers.

6. Stay away from negative people. “I don’t know how u do it” and “are u thinking of moving” can definitely hurt

7. Oldest dd got upper bed of bunk Bed so she can always have that escape area and some privacy

8. Do not allow space to be an excuse for aaaaanything. We made every single yomtov here and hosted parties and play dates all the time. When ppl comment we giggle and joke “welcome to our dollhouse”

9.Air out every single day. Dh and I do 1 brisk walk around the block so we can connect in privacy every day.

10. Last but not least I’m told time and time again that my kids are the happiest kids on the block. They’re truly not deprived in any way. We have figured out a way to eat dinner together every day this home is filled with friendship love and laughter (to balance out the endless bickering)

We had the most rewarding moment when dd friend wrote her compliment in school “ur house is always cheerful. I love coming to you”

Suffice it to say that lack of space is misery beyond words but accept this as ur temporary challenge and open your heart to Hashems generosity. Give him your budget and beg him to fill ur pockets.

Also read “you were born rich”

Good luck and huuuuugs

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2019, 5:03 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Wow! May I ask how old are your kids? Thanks for your great suggestions! I did get the comment “I don’t know how u do it” a lot! Especially from friends who can’t put their kids to sleep in a shared room.
We have a large bedroom but the dining room and living room aren’t large enough to create another room, unfortunately. The funny thing is that people ask me how do I keep the house so neat?! It’s easier to keep it neat and not cluttered in a smaller space. I keep all their toys and stuff very organized. I have a sister with 3 bedrooms and the whole apartment is a huge mess.

My eldest is 8 years old. I’m not planning on staying in a one bedroom forever.