Very nervous | Imamother

amother

Tan

Wed, Jul 03 2019, 5:53 pm

WastingTime wrote:

Not healthy????
Why, does the babysitter's kids have the measles?

No- but I read on another thread that there are people who use their toilet brushes to clean their bathtubs so it seems that some peoples cleanliness habits suck

polka dots

Wed, Jul 03 2019, 6:50 pm

Op I did not read through all the post so maybe someone gave this suggestion. Can you warm him up to babysitter? If the babysitter agrees you can go the week before leaving him. Sit with him in their playroom. Go a few times and hopefully he will feel comfortable when you leave him

Raw

Wed, Jul 03 2019, 8:38 pm

aricelli wrote:

I know that many people do this- for simchos, vacations and after having babies. But ... my heart! Toddlers are little people! I imagine finding myself in a strange city with people I dont recognize and having no clue where my people disappeared to. And thinking that I’ll never see them again. It must be terrifying. I for sure understand that there are times that there is no choice but it cant be easy for these little things.

I love this! Totally agree!

dancingqueen

Wed, Jul 03 2019, 8:40 pm

Zehava wrote:

Geez the imamother sanctimommy club. This is why I rarely post here about these topics, or about SB.
Leaving kids with competent caretakers is a normal part of life. We can’t always be hooked onto our children 24/7 365 days a year. Sometimes we need a little me-time to be better mommies the rest of the time. And sometimes things happen like a new baby or a simcha.

As others said, this seems cultural. In my world it would be considered neglectful at worst and odd at best to leave a toddler at a stranger’s house overnight.

nechamashifra

Wed, Jul 03 2019, 9:54 pm

Op, I'd say follow your gut and don't do it. For those posters who are saying kids are resilient, they'll get over it....sure, if there's a war and no other choice.

I searched the web but the only "leaving a toddler" articles I found were about leaving the child with a family member or someone a knew well. Read this:
https://www.naturalchild.org/a......html Parenting Advice Column

salt

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:18 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

I'll share something, but no advice. take it or leave it.

just had a baby and spent two days in the hospital.
My two yr old was left at home with her older siblings,they went to friends and neighbors houses together (she was not sent alone). My husband was home with her besides for when I was having baby...
She came and visited with all the siblings And Daddy one day...

And still, now that I am home, she is very happy about baby and not happy at all with me.
Tantrumming all day, not acting herself, crying and waking up at night.

It's not because there's a baby. It's because she felt abandoned by me.for an unavoidable reason.
And thAt was with me telling her in advance that if be going to a hospital for a few days and getting a baby and coming home... And now, telling her that I am staying home and not going back to hospital iyh...

You can't know that.

mommyfish

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:07 am

I was recently rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night for an emergency. My two year old woke up in the morning with her grandparents in the house. After a few days hospital stay my daughter wouldn’t look at me when I came home. She was angry at me for a good while.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:24 am

ectomorph wrote:

Honestly though I have seen toddlers never forgive their mothers for this. It sounds like it could worsen the attachment problems. Think about whether it's really worth it

Wait- you've seen 2 year olds "never forgive their mothers for this"? You must live in an alternative universe. I'm sure you will stand by this claim, but I assure you that for the rest of us this isn't true.

amother

Brown

Thu, Jul 04 2019, 9:20 am

ectomorph wrote:

Op, read up on attachment disorders. You are high risk for this. Think about whether it's really worth it.

Funny , you should be posting this.
Since your the one who says that you put your kids to sleep at 6 and have them CIO..
And your kids dont have attachment issues.

Not that I would ever leave my 2 year old and I nurse my kids to sleep til theyre 18 months old..)