Calm home, kids in camp

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 10:19 pm

I feel terrible saying this, but I'm really enjoying having my teens in camp. My house is now so calm, younger kids are relaxed, not fighting as much, Shabbos was a pleasure. It's neat now, easy to clean up after younger kids (oldest preteen).

I don't wish them away and will be happy to have them home, but I'm really enjoying the calm, neat home I used to have when they were little!

amother

Pewter

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 10:21 pm

My kids are all little, and my home has been anything but neat and calm! (BH day camp starting tomorrow)

amother

Ivory

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 10:22 pm

It's ok! You don't need to feel terrible saying it. Enjoy this time.

yksraya

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 10:22 pm

Enjoy the calm, while they enjoy themselves in camp. It's a win-win situation! Lol!

SingALong

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 10:28 pm

And I thought I was the only one! I’m loving the peace and quiet and don’t miss the teenage drama! Plus my little ones are thriving since I have more time and energy and can give them more attention.

ra_mom

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 10:35 pm

It makes sense. Enjoy the little bit of calm. Don't feel guilty. Their enjoying their bit of fun.

flowerpower

Sun, Jul 07 2019, 11:09 pm

I heard it from many people. They have lighter suppers, house is quiet at night, low keyed routine... it’s ok to enjoy the quiet! Summer is supposed to be relaxing- kids in camp is allowed to attribute to it.

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:51 am

My bigger kids don't make noise at night (or at day)

tweety1

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:58 am

Op, same here!! Especially as the "easy shmeasy summer supper" recipes are helping tons, I feel that I have to much more time for myself. So much less laundry. I love my Teens dearly, but I live that they're in camp. The only thing I miss abt them is their babysitting. Tom I have a simcha in a different town that I'm skipping cuz I don't have a babysitter. It's not that important to pay a babysitter but had I have my teenagers home I'd for sure go. So really it goes both ways.

amother

Ginger

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 9:01 am

Op thank you for opening this thread.
I’ve bren feeling horribly guilty for enjoying my summer.
It’s such a good break for me, but I feel terrible that I need to have my teenagers in camp for this.

Also, I’m nervous for the homecoming when the storm lands Smile

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 9:03 am

I miss the drama and the being needed. No little kids at home. Yesterday was a totally unstructured day for us. First time without having to drive someone or prepare foods for someone or remind someone to do something.

House is neat. But who cares? Miss them.

Ema of 5

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 9:21 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Nothing wrong with that. We all need a break from the chaos every once in a while. My oldest, 12, has adhd and ODD, and my house is anything but calm. He is in camp for 3.5 weeks. Add to that, my husband went away, for a week, the day after he left, so it’s been super duper calm this week. The next two weeks will also be calm, but the dynamic will be different once my husband comes home.

amother

Wine

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 9:30 am

When you have a small family, you can always tell even if one child is not home. When you have a large family, you would need a few more out of the house to be able to notice. A general statement, but I've noticed this growing up and then in my own home.

I have it different. I have my big kids away in school the whole year and than they come home for the summer. What a difference it makes! I love them, but so much less work when they're not home obviously. It's not necessarily calmer or quieter because they don't make that much noise or trouble.

amother

Jade

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 10:13 am

When you have a family with a large range of ages and you take one range away, it can simplify things. You can plan outings without having to accommodate both, and keep the tone of the household in one mode. So less younger kids acting up at the Shabbos table because the discussion is sometimes above them or bores them. Better bedtime when the household overall quiets earlier, which makes for less cranky kids overall. Simpler and smaller meals, and just by numbers, less people's food preferences or needs to accommodate. The ability to just go to the library or the park in the afternoon without worrying about late pickups, etc.

On the flip side, no babysitters.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 1:43 pm

Ruchel wrote:

My bigger kids don't make noise at night (or at day)

Well you are just perfect!

This comment of yours is a wonderful contribution to this thread. It is poignant, meaningful, and makes the op (and other contributors) really feel both heard and validated.

Thank you so much for sharing.

ShishKabob

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 1:49 pm

There's nothing wrong with loving them to pieces when they're home and loving them to pieces when they are not home! Enjoy your mini break and cherish every minute because before you know it.... they're gonna be back with a bang.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 1:53 pm

Don’t feel guilty, just enjoy. They’ll be back in a few weeks, you know.

33055

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 1:57 pm

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

Aren't you nasty snipping at Rochel as amother? Your nasty contribution didn't help this thread. And your disposition probably doesn't help you IRL.

Rochel is free to post about her life. You are not free to criticize her as amother.

amother

Lavender

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 1:58 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

this exactly. dd going in to seventh grade is away first half. yesterday we went to a park and my kids had a great time, I know if she was home she would not have been as excited. the nights end much earlier as well and because the one under her is a boy he doesnt need as much schmoozing time. we also had different leftovers from shabbos so my kids were more excited to eat them.

she is too young to be left to babysit but I can go on a short walk with dh which I do miss

having said all that she called from camp today. I was very happy to hear from her and hear that bh she is having a great time. im looking forward to her coming home but going to camp is so good for her and changes the dynamics in the house at the same time

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 2:52 pm

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

I didn't talk about myself nor do I think in most homes toddlers are quieter than teens.

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