Birthday Party: 11 year old boy

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 2:31 pm

Hi everyone! I'm planning a small birthday party for my 11 year old son. The guests will be four school friends, his three siblings, and one favorite neighbor.

I'd love some help and advice. I normally love planning parties, but I've found myself really avoiding getting started on this one. My son has an ASD diagnosis, and while he is so very wonderful in many ways- smart, kind, caring, empathic- he can still have difficulty maintaining focus for long, and needs breaks and time to himself to maintain his equalibrium. God, in his infinate goodness, put my son in a class with several other sweet, dorky, kinda nerdy little guys, where he is genuinely liked and valued despite his challenges. At the same time, seeing my son with his friends really sparks my anxiety. I worry how the party will go, if he will be able to stay focused on his friends and not wander off. When he has friends over he does sometimes veer off with a book (to be fair, so do his friends),and sometimes needs to be redirected to his role as a host. I'm rambling. I guess I wanted to explain why I'm kind of dreading this party, and having such a hard time figuring out what to do that will work. At the same time, I love this kid so much. I'm so proud of him. He's the first to say thank you, is so loving and attentive with his siblings, works so hard... I want to celebrate him, and make a wonderful party for him. It's bittersweet.

So, any suggestions for making a super fun birthday party for an 11 year old? I can do some sort of races/games in our pool, a craft, serve some food. But past that my mind is blank. I'd love ideas for: pool games or other cool games, crafts that won't be dorky for 11 year old boys, ideas of what food to serve. We could BBQ, or go the pizza route... I'm open to suggestions. My son wants to have a slumber party. I'm not against it, in theory, but I'm not sure how to structure a slumber party, and how I'd manage entertainting six 11 year olds for that many hours.

All advice very much welcomed and appreciated!

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 4:36 pm

Sounds like you described my son.
Luckily my son reacts well in the water and is less overwhelmed there so he wants a swimming party.
Good luck with arranging it all.
Sorry I don't have advice.

Rutabaga

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 4:51 pm

Would the kids be interested in non-dorky crafts like building rocket ships or using magnifying glasses to etch their names into wood? What about fun sciency type stuff as an activity? Like making slime or the classic volcano eruptions?

flowerpower

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 5:00 pm

Go to Oriental Trading online and you will find a lot of fun themes. We did a pizza party this spring for a kid( they made pizza and we had a lot of different topping and little rolling pins on the table). You can do a pool party with races in the pool... Pinterest would help you with some games or the set up.

Yummymummy3

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 5:07 pm

I love that making your own pizza party. Sounds fun.

OutATowner

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 5:10 pm

You just need a few pool toys (squirted, floating basketball hoop) to make pool time fun. I dont think you need organized games if you have a pool big enough to accommodate them.
I like the pizza making idea. Give them a ball if dough and lots of toppings. They can prep their pizzas before and eat them after the pool.
It sounds like you don't want too much structure, like games that need specific rules to follow.
Another option is to take them somewhere where you can bring your own food and do an activity, like bowling or skating.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 6:02 pm

I could have written this post as well. Except I have avoided making him a party becasue I cant predict if he will go off on his own or misunderstand someone and start a fight. I wish I had the courage you have.
As far as the party, making pizza and pool sounds amazing. They dont need more structure. You can get a birthday cake as well. Maybe they can they play basketball or soccer afterward. And it might help to make a time limit on the party so that you can end on a good note instead of waiting for your son to get overwhelmed.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 6:56 pm

I agree on having a set time for the party to end. I would also suggest making sure he knows what the schedule will be, in advance, so he knows what to expect.

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:26 pm

Thanks so much to you all for taking the time to reply!

Make your own pizza sounds like great fun (I'm going to save this idea to use for my next son!), but I don't think it's going to work for my birthday boy. He has very specific food likes and dislikes, and while he loves store bought pizza, he won't eat homemade. I think we'll buy a few pies, and make fries and maybe mac and cheese to go with it. He specifically wants a bakery cake, so that and ice cream will be dessert. Food is sorted! Hooray!

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:28 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

I agree on having a set time for the party to end. I would also suggest making sure he knows what the schedule will be, in advance, so he knows what to expect.

You sound like you might have ASD kids too... yes, we will go over the schedule beforehand for sure! Though as I'm writing this I'm marveling at how far my son has come. He's really gotten so good at tolerating change and the unexpected gracefully. I'm pretty confident that if I didn't go over the schedule with him, he'd be totally fine. It's a small miracle.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:30 pm

Nope, just an experienced teacher. But I will take that as a compliment:)

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:31 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Don't despair silver! There was a time I wouldn't have dreamed of making a party for my son. At those points in his life, it would have been a disaster for him. Now he can thank god not only tolerate it, but really enjoy it. I bless you that your child gets to this stage too.

We will definitly put a start and end time to the party. Not so much for my kid, but for me Smile

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:35 pm

OutATowner wrote:

I actually specifically would like to have games with more structure (though I'm sure they will alll just swim around as well). Any idea for pool games?

Someone else suggested soccer or basketball; my little guy doesn't really enjoy sports. I think between swimming, some pool games, eating, and maybe a craft the party will be over.

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:35 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Nope, just an experienced teacher. But I will take that as a compliment:)

It absolutely was a compliment. I bet your students are really lucky to have you.

amother

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:37 pm

Rutabaga wrote:

This sounds amazing and right up my son's ally. Is this something you do by yourself? Something you buy?

egam

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:40 pm

How about science themed party? I made this for my DS 11th birthday. We made slime, elephant toothpaste, a small competition whose balloon will inflate first when combining baking soda with vinegar. My husband also showed them the first makka trick - turning water into the blood and back.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Jul 08 2019, 8:42 pm

Would he enjoy a model kit, like this? https://www.michaels.com/wood-......html

My 10 year old had a lot of fun with that and he isn't particularly crafty. He was able to do it independently.

Raisin

Tue, Jul 09 2019, 9:57 am

Do you have a lot of lego? You could do a lego themed game. Like build a rocket ship/sports car/house wtvr out of lego. Best one wins.

I like the ship idea from Michaels. Boys could then sail them in the pool.

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