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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Why do u have to shut dow threads y don’t like



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 5:43 pm
I think it’s not nice to automatically get whatever thread u don’t like shut down for whatever reason if it’s not breaking any rules. Please just move on and don’t read or comment but let the rest of us continue. But yet the same people comment and have glee to post pages and pages on dirt about rabbis, certain chassidim, whatever they decide is ok.
Be consistent.
Thank u,
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 5:45 pm
They have control issues. They want the rest of us not to have free speech unless they determine it's ok.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 5:46 pm
Squishy wrote:
They have control issues. They want the rest of us not to have free speech unless they determine it's ok.


Yes it sure looks that way
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 5:55 pm
Squishy wrote:
They have control issues. They want the rest of us not to have free speech unless they determine it's ok.


So leave if you aren't interested in being in a moderated forum. Imamother was not set-up for "free speech"

Moderators don't have 'control issues' they were tasked with a job.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 6:17 pm
I actually think a forum that identifies as frum and targets frum women should be more moderated than it currently is.
Frum people do not have unlimited free speech.
There are halachos that restrict speech such as lashon hara etc..
The threads discussing and soliciting info on other couples intimate life are also inappropriate for a frum website Imo.
(Yes, I know I could leave if I want.
I did take a break for a few years and decided to try again.)
I’m a bit addicted now.
[let the hugging begin]
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 6:21 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
So leave if you aren't interested in being in a moderated forum. Imamother was not set-up for "free speech"

Moderators don't have 'control issues' they were tasked with a job.


Yeah and like I said sometimes threads that didn’t break any rules Is shut down and the threads about which rabbis supposedlyabuse kids (with no proof) with names named stays in so that it has 15 pages worth of dirt and lashon hara. It’s very selective
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 6:23 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yeah and like I said sometimes threads that didn’t break any rules Is shut down and the threads about which rabbis supposedlyabuse kids with names named stays in so that it has 15 pages worth of dirt and lashon hara. It’s very selective


Why don't you PM Yael with your concerns.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 6:39 pm
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
I actually think a forum that identifies as frum and targets frum women should be more moderated than it currently is.
Frum people do not have unlimited free speech.
There are halachos that restrict speech such as lashon hara etc..
The threads discussing and soliciting info on other couples intimate life are also inappropriate for a frum website Imo.
(Yes, I know I could leave if I want.
I did take a break for a few years and decided to try again.)
I’m a bit addicted now.
[let the hugging begin]


Its easy enough not to read the intimacy threads. I have no interest in them, so I skip them. That said, however, (1) Yael doesn't think they're inappropriate, and she owns the site; and (2) they serve a very important role for women who have no other place to ask those questions.

I honestly don't see the over-moderation that you're complaining about. The largest part of moderation that I see is removing comments that are deliberately cruel to others, or that attack some type of Judaism or another. Indeed, kudos to the moderators!
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 6:46 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
So leave if you aren't interested in being in a moderated forum. Imamother was not set-up for "free speech"

Moderators don't have 'control issues' they were tasked with a job.


I have no problem with moderators.

It is the posters that post something nasty. Then they report themselves to get the threads shut down. It is controlling and displays imbecility at the same time. I have no respect for this infantile behavior.

Talk to me on a higher level, I might agree with you. Today, someone showed me where I was wrong, and I answered that it makes sense.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Tue, Jul 09 2019, 6:53 pm
Squishy wrote:
I have no problem with moderators.

It is the posters that post something nasty. Then they report themselves to get the threads shut down. It is controlling and displays imbecility at the same time. I have no respect for this infantile behavior.

Talk to me on a higher level, I might agree with you. Today, someone showed me where I was wrong, and I answered that it makes sense.


What is the higher level you are looking for?

Quote:
They have control issues. They want the rest of us not to have free speech unless they determine it's ok.


So if I understand correctly "they" in this post is non-moderator posters, and they are infringing on your free speech - which was never something available to you here in the first place.

You are concerned that you are being controlled by other posters here.

What behavior you respect is of no consequence to this thread.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2019, 8:11 am
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
I actually think a forum that identifies as frum and targets frum women should be more moderated than it currently is.
Frum people do not have unlimited free speech.
There are halachos that restrict speech such as lashon hara etc..
The threads discussing and soliciting info on other couples intimate life are also inappropriate for a frum website Imo.
(Yes, I know I could leave if I want.
I did take a break for a few years and decided to try again.)
I’m a bit addicted now.
[let the hugging begin]


I liked your post for highlighting the fact that we don't have unlimited free speech.
Re the intimacy threads, Yael has thought about it and feels that there is toeles. I can hear it. I just block the forum.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:02 am
PinkFridge wrote:
I liked your post for highlighting the fact that we don't have unlimited free speech.
Re the intimacy threads, Yael has thought about it and feels that there is toeles. I can hear it. I just block the forum.


There were quite a few threads in the intimacy threads where the OP was asking or encouraging others to share information about their intimate lives and marriages.

One such thread was titled “do you have a set day for intimacy” and the other was a chasidish woman asking others if they have a movie-like relationship with their husband.

I see no toeles in these “I want to compare my marriage to other’s marriages” kind of threads.
They can be detrimental to women’s SB and cause more harm than benefits to the OP and others reading them-especially newlyweds.
These women would be much better off speaking to someone wise IRL.

But ultimately I do respect Yael’s decision to run the site as she sees fit.
I’m only expressing my sentiments about this forum.
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aricelli




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:29 am
I dont think that much into whats right or wrong over here because I dont own this site or pay towards its upkeep so I dont feel its mine to debate- so when I’m not happy with something I dont look at the thread or I can choose not to visit this site at all. When I make my own site I’ll set the rules!
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:35 am
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
So if I understand correctly "they" in this post is non-moderator posters, and they are infringing on your free speech - which was never something available to you here in the first place.

You are concerned that you are being controlled by other posters here.

What behavior you respect is of no consequence to this thread.



Not weighing in, just seeking clarification. Is this the gripe? :

Sometimes offended users will deliberately post inflammatory statements in a thread that offends them - and then report their own posts in an attempt to shutdown the conversation. (Rather than just moving on.)

The moderators will usually lock a thread if it's too complicated to clean up and these offended users are employing that as their tactic to shut down conversations.

So no complaint against the mods, yes complaint about the seemingly underhanded technique (which seems to be used unfairly)
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:25 pm
cbsp wrote:
Not weighing in, just seeking clarification. Is this the gripe? :

Sometimes offended users will deliberately post inflammatory statements in a thread that offends them - and then report their own posts in an attempt to shutdown the conversation. (Rather than just moving on.)

The moderators will usually lock a thread if it's too complicated to clean up and these offended users are employing that as their tactic to shut down conversations.

So no complaint against the mods, yes complaint about the seemingly underhanded technique (which seems to be used unfairly)


Exactly

I get sick of these control freaks and then leave for a bit. Some leave for good.

Giving feedback is what improves this site.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:54 pm
Squishy wrote:
Exactly

I get sick of these control freaks and then leave for a bit. Some leave for good.

Giving feedback is what improves this site.


I think a 'no holds barred' exit survey would provide some interesting insights.
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