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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
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amother
Cobalt
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 Wed, Jul 10 2019, 9:24 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Since when does a successful career guarantee a large family? I know many people who had to change careers because the economy changed. I also know people who had a messy divorce and all the money in the world couldn't save the marriage. I know of people who got sick and money didn't stop them from dying. I also know people who were forced out of their careers by wicked people. That's what irks me. |
Actually my comment was the typical snide remark I've heard when people talk about their children going to school to have careers - it means - A shaina maidel should be occupied raising a lot of children, not being really busy in a fancy career.
The comment the mother made just sounds naive.
Degrees don't produce money.
You know this of course. But its not nice manners to burst someones bubble. Mom isn't the one who will be entering the work force, and realizing that you actually still need to work to earn the money.
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Rubber Ducky
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 9:30 am
No need to overthink this. She's happy for her daughter!
"You must be so proud of her" is an appropriate response.
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iluvy
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:02 am
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It does scare me to hear someone say that. No one knows what will happen in life. You should respond with a bracha: "Beezras Hashem, she should have lots of hatzlacha."
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ShishKabob
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:06 am
She should have lots of hatzlocha!
Oops, I didn't realize the poster above wrote that as well
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tigerwife
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:29 am
“That’s great! iyh, she should be very successful!”
This is not the time to point out that life throws curveballs and nothing is guaranteed. Don’t begrudge her some nachas.
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Learning
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:37 am
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Did she say it to spite you or just an expression? It all depends but it None of op business. The person said a very normal statement even though it is said in an extreme manner. If she has a good degree that is a job that she can find a good job that it is a great asset to have in life. She be nice and polite and share with others happiness.
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amother
Cerise
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:39 am
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Just say Mazal tov, what an accomplishment and move on. Of course there's no such thing as "set for life", Hashem is in charge. But there's a time and place to discuss that. If someone told you they were expecting, would you say "well, a pregnancy is no guarentee of a baby"? Of course not! You say "b'sha'a tova". Same here. Just wish her well on her accomplishment.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 11:41 am
| amother [ Cobalt ] wrote: | | How is she going to manage with a large family? |
Translation -- I'm jealous as all get-out that your daughter is doing so well, and want to throw some cold water over it. I wish her ill.
Watch out for the evil eye.
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amother
Slateblue
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:05 pm
Not so nice.
Seems likely that OP is dealing with her own issues whether financial or struggling kids so makes sense this would rub her the wrong way.
Still advise her to respond politely and socially appropriately instead of bursting her friend's bubble.
But no need for anyone here to kick op while she is down.
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giselle
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:08 pm
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I’m confused as to why this is a question. Why can’t you just smile and say any of the above examples? What is bothering you?
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amother
Slateblue
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Wed, Jul 10 2019, 12:13 pm
As I posted above, it seems likely that OP has encountered difficulties in life that makes this proud mother's kvelling personally irksome.
Nothing to be proud of, but very human. Most of us have areas (if we are honest) where we feel similar emotions. The question is, do we try to rise above them or give in to the temptation to verbally "slap down" the other person. We all have our weak points.
OP, you sound so very human. I get it. Please don't be ashamed, just try to respond in a way that keeps your dignity and friend's feelings in mind.
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