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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
My daughter was dropped off alone
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flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 3:20 pm
OP so what happened??? Did you speak to the camp head or the bus company?
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sub




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 3:26 pm
ectomorph wrote:
No one condoned the driver behavior. I said he should be fired.

But the mom also clearly has a habit of cutting it close. She should be more considerate. I was a bus monitor. 99% of parents were there every day no matter when we showed up, because they have common sense that sometimes schedules change.

I'm not saying the mom is at fault. But what if next time a family friend is passing by and the driver thinks it's the mother and drives away. You need to be a bit earlier than the exact time if you don't want to end up in this situation. And EVERYONE else was ready to pick up their kid.

Everyone is jumping on the driver and I agree what he did was awful. But for the safety of the kid, the mom needs to develop some common sense.

How do you know? Maybe other children were also dropped off early, this mother wrote about her child.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:08 pm
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
Omg that's insane! My heart is beating so hard right now.
Get that bus driver fired.

Get the Mom fired.
Stop expecting that the world should bend to you and than accusing everybody. The bus can't take back a student to the school if he has another run afterwards etc. It's the parents responsibility that someone should be available for their child when they come home!
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amother
Puce


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:09 pm
Amother khaki I hope you are being sarcastic. A child is the school's responsiblity till the child is safely with a parent or caregiver.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:16 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
You're 100% right. I shouldn't be cutting it so close, and I usually don't. I'm usually home a half hour before the bus. Yesterday was just one of those days.

I just want your daughter to be safe. I'm sure it will bw fine from now on.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:24 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
Get the Mom fired.
Stop expecting that the world should bend to you and than accusing everybody. The bus can't take back a student to the school if he has another run afterwards etc. It's the parents responsibility that someone should be available for their child when they come home!


The 'bus' should have a contingency plan for when parent/caregiver isn't home. It happens. It should only happen in extreme circumstances, but it happens.

The contingency plan must include supervision of the child. The plan may include keeping the child on the bus.

The choice the bus driver made was 100% wrong.
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blad




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:25 pm
bobeli wrote:
I will recomend that all buses should use the glymps so you see exactly where he is, if you can't make it on time then you can do something about it, or catch the bus at a later stop.

Yes, my son's cheder has the bus driver post his live location on the cheder whattsap group so all parents see where the bus is.
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:30 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
Get the Mom fired.
Stop expecting that the world should bend to you and than accusing everybody. The bus can't take back a student to the school if he has another run afterwards etc. It's the parents responsibility that someone should be available for their child when they come home!


My dds had it happen more than once that when they got on their bus to go home from school there was a little kid there and the bus driver told them that noone was there to meet the kid at the bus. A couple times the mother met the bus at the school and other times the bus driver went back and dropped the kid off at their stop.

I agree that if there is a consistent issue with one kid, there should be a consequence. I don't think the kid should be left outside alone, but they should probably not be allowed to ride the bus for a while. For a first time offense the driver should take the kid back to school or keep the kid on the bus and let the school know to contact the parent. Even the most conscientious parent can be late sometimes through no fault of their own.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I came home from work in time for my daughter's bus and I saw her sitting curled up by my front door freaked out and bawling. Another woman was there with her and trying to calm her down, she said she was there for a few minutes already and stopped because she saw a traumatized little girl crying in the street.

My daughter is 3 years old. Her bus came early and the driver simply dropped her off. There are 2 construction sites within 5 houses of me.

I am freaked out and mad.

Edited for typo


You can be mad at everyone and everything else, but the bottom line is, as a mother it’s YOUR responsibility to make sure you’re there earlier to wait for the bus! Getting there just in time is not good enough. You’re lucky nothing bad happened to her but ultimately no one will supervise or care for your child as you would or should, so you need to have a better plan next time,
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:45 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
Not to be harsh but isn’t it your responsibility to be home in time for the bus?


YES!!!
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:46 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am always home. My street is mostly empty for the summer. If the bus would've been on time I would have been there to pick her up.


And it never dawned on you the bus might be a bit early???
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:47 pm
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
OP, if you're always home for the bus, I would make a whole stink about this in school. I shudder to think what can happen to a kid alone on a deserted block. I would not let the matter go till it's taken care of. And tomorrow when your daughter comes home, make sure to give the driver a piece of your mind.


And if someone on the street who saw the child alone, had called the police or ACS to report his, guess who’d get blamed? The parents!
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tf




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:52 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
If you live in Brooklyn it’s a typical occurrence

Ouch!!!
Yes, typical. If it’s typical is it then ok?!?! How?
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:55 pm
keym wrote:
I'd like to point something out.
Drivers and bus companies are under tremendous pressure to get to the next route on time.
The driver was wrong. He should have brought the kid back to the school or if no one's at the school anymore, then a safe pre agreed upon place.
But he was probably stressed about getting to the next route late, being yelled at by the next camp or school, and being yelled at by each parent when he drops off 20-30 minutes late.
And some schools and parents will then yell at the bus company threatening, etc.
I know this first hand.
Takeaway here- to be a little patient. If your kids bus comes 30 minutes late, there is no reason to yell, to freak, to complain-even if it happens more than once. And the same for schools, camp, counselors, etc. You don't want to be pressuring the driver to make a very bad decision by your pressure to not take a detour, to be on time.


No one here has heard the drivers side and is making lots of assumptions. Maybe he did see the neighbor standing near op’s house and thought she was the child’s mother. We have no idea what he saw, what he did, and why he did it. But we do know what OP is responsible to do from her end.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:56 pm
Notsobusy wrote:
My dds had it happen more than once that when they got on their bus to go home from school there was a little kid there and the bus driver told them that noone was there to meet the kid at the bus. A couple times the mother met the bus at the school and other times the bus driver went back and dropped the kid off at their stop.

I agree that if there is a consistent issue with one kid, there should be a consequence. I don't think the kid should be left outside alone, but they should probably not be allowed to ride the bus for a while. For a first time offense the driver should take the kid back to school or keep the kid on the bus and let the school know to contact the parent. Even the most conscientious parent can be late sometimes through no fault of their own.


Exactly. 'Punish' the parent - but don't put their child's safety and mental well being at risk.

I'm truly baffled how in 2019 any busing company or school would find leaving a 3 year old alone acceptable. Certainly from a 'risk management' perceptive at the very very very least.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 4:58 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Why are you insisting I was late? If the driver is early that makes me late? I was there at the EARLIEST time he had ever arrived before then.
A little girl was dropped off on a pretty deserted street with TWO construction sites within 5 houses on either side.

Also, this driver is contracted by the camp.


You seem to still not get it, being just “on time exactly” is not adequate! You have to accept your part of this, or else you will not see fit to change your routine so this never happens again! You can’t rely on strangers to do the right thing by your child, whether it’s their job or not. People can’t be relied on when it comes to your child, only you must be the responsible one! Getting there on time is not enough, you must be there early for any eventuality. I always pick up my kid early, not on time.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:00 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
No one here has heard the drivers side and is making lots of assumptions. Maybe he did see the neighbor standing near op’s house and thought she was the child’s mother. We have no idea what he saw, what he did, and why he did it. But we do know what OP is responsible to do from her end.


Okay assume he saw the neighbor and assumed she was responsible for the child.

Did he actually look to see the neighbor go over and greet the child? NO because we know that didn't happen.

What the driver did was wrong. Period. The fact that OP wasn't home in a good window of time is totally separate from what the driver did.

Had she come here to complain that the driver should have waited at home home for her rather than taking the child with him on his next stops - Totally different scenario.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:02 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
And this!

How anyone can think differently is shocking!


It’s common sense that the 9ne who is OBLIGATED, OBLIGATED (!) to be there early for any eventuality, is the parent! I understand your quite young and possibly op is too, and that’s why you both are shirking off a parent having more responsibility for their child than a negligent bus driver! What he did would be considered unprofessional, improper, etc., what the parent did is considered child neglect.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:03 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
You seem to still not get it, being just “on time exactly” is not adequate! You have to accept your part of this, or else you will not see fit to change your routine so this never happens again! You can’t rely on strangers to do the right thing by your child, whether it’s their job or not. People can’t be relied on when it comes to your child, only you must be the responsible one! Getting there on time is not enough, you must be there early for any eventuality. I always pick up my kid early, not on time.


She has no part in the driver doing the absolutely wrong thing - even if she was responsible for creating that circumstance.

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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
You're 100% right. I shouldn't be cutting it so close, and I usually don't. I'm usually home a half hour before the bus. Yesterday was just one of those days.


And maybe G-d is so kind and good to be seNding you a message that “just one of those days” isn’t good enough an excuse for not being there for your child. Luckily He watched over her this time. It should be a valuable lesson.
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